What do you do if all your valid ID is stolen or unavailable?

all right heres my situation my wallet was stolen, I lost my drivers licence, social security card, green card and various credit cards.
The only other form of ID I had was my canadian passport(i'm a canadian permenant resident) and my birth certificate. Before my wallet was stolen, I sent these 2 documents in to Passport Canada so I could get my new passport, normally this would take a month max, but since theres a new law being implemented where anyone travelling between Canada and the US must have a passport they are backed up at least 14 weeks(so it could be 2 more months on that ID).
The documents I do have 1 bank card, 1 credit card, 1 copy of my birth certificate(which the DMV and social security will not accept even though it's an official canadian copy) and an expired temporary green card(which does have a picture).
I also have a letter from the social security office which proves I am the owner of my SS number but only with a valid birth certificate.
What the hell do I do?

oh I forgot to mention I have a meeting with the INS on the 29th to replace my green card and I need some ID

Just had this happen. I was lucky and was in the Military prior so had my retirement papers. The DMV needed three forms of ID showing proof of who I am...Birth Certificate, DD214, and letter from SSN office....had numerous other things I dug out of my files showing my name and SSN on the same page. Had an old ID that I hung onto for no particular reason that was helpful as well. Go through all your stuff and you'll find the answer. Once you get what the DMV needs your home free...only took me 5 minutes at the SSN office once I had my license.

P.S., did you contact the credit bureaus to put a security alert on your SSN?

you should be able to go to the DMV and get a replacement ID, as they have your picture on file. The 2 or 3 times i have lost my wallet, that's where i started. they never asked for any other id's since they can pull up yours and see that it's you. then with your license/id, you can get your other stuff back.