My fiancee and I are in graduate school. Do you think that we should be out of school to get married still?

I see many answers that advise people to wait until they have a career and are out of school to get married. My fiance and I are both college grads. He works full-time as a newspaper reporter and I work at the university alumni office (they pay me and pay for my masters degree). So even though our jobs are kind of temporary, because we will be moving on to other jobs after graduation, and we are in school, in your opinion, would you tell me to wait until I am out of school? By the way, I am 23 and he is 26 and we are getting married before he gets out of school, because it will take him a while to get out because he works full time.

I'm not sure why one would need to wait to get out of school to get married. What is it that you can do in school while in a serious relationship that you cannot do while married? Beats me. I wouldn't wait if I felt I was with a person I really wanted to marry. I would certainly wait to have kids - but that's a whole different story.

P.S. Seems like a lot of "wait til you're out of school" adivce centers around the fact that you would be stuck paying "wedding bills". However, you certainly don't have to insist on having a wedding you cannot afford. Getting married does not equal having an extravagant expensive wedding.

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No, you shouldn't. First get a good paying job, both of you. That way you'll be financially secured to start a family. For now you two should maybe get engaged.

You need to wait until you are older.

It sounds like you both have done pretty good jobs at preparing for your future, I would say the question is how long have you been together, If you have been together long enough to know deep down inside you can do it, then why wait?

It's not like you two are flipping hamburgers, if you love him, marry him. However, if you guys have only been dating for 6 months or something and/or your unsure, don't.

If it were me and I knew then what I know now, I'd wait. Marriage is HARD in the first place...so adding the drama of college work plus your job, plus eventually the job search again for a permanent job...its hard and stressful and it really does add more stress to your marriage. While this probably sounds harsh, when you are dating, you're usually super supportive and just want the best for the other person, so you help them applying for jobs and just hold them when they get rejected, etc. When you are married, you still feel the same way, but things change and while sometimes it happens the same way, sometimes the other person gets so stressed that it causes more fights and anger than help and support. Maybe its because finances are an issue and now are in jeopardy (going from 2 incomes to 1 for awhile possibly?), the possiblity of having to move for a good job when one person isn't willing to move, etc. Just be aware of all of the possible stresses that can happen after you're married...and might be easier to deal with when you're still single.

Many many people go their whole lives not finding the right person. If you have found eachother, its the time to marry eachother while everything is okay. I would have regretted not marrying my hubby and if something happened to him....like health problems, car acciedents, death. But do what you feel is right.

Do you what feels right. Do you want a big wedding? If so, it might be less stressful to wait when you are not in school and working. Whatever feels right to you. Your tone tells me you kinda want to wait. Then I would.

If you think you can make it financially then I see no problem with it. Just know that it may be extra stressful because of your responcibilities.

Yes you do have degrees, but I would advise stable jobs.

You don't want to be stuck with wedding bills and no way to pay them.

Now if you can live on his salary alone then I say go for it.

Well, planning a wedding takes quite a bit of time so if you wait until at least one of you is out of school that may help ease some of the stress that comes with planning. You both have your undergrad degrees and you sound fairly settled so I don't see any other reason why you should have to wait if you're sure you are ready.

What it pretty much comes down to (it sounds like) is your finances. It doesnt matter when you get married whether in or out of school, what does matter is what you can afford and want for your wedding to occur. We waited till I graduated and was financially stable with a full time job and so did he. If you can afford and want to get married now by all means go ahead and do it.
Another thing is to check with your university and them paying your masters program for you, once your marital status changes you might have to pay it yourself because of your financial status with your husband.
Good Luck in whatever you choose.

(personal opinion category, obviously)

My best guess...would be to WAIT......and this is why....

There are many critical bits of information that are missing:

-Do you want/need to have children SOON???
-Have you discussed the common "break up" issues and are both equally committed to their resolutions:
*religion for you both and future kids?
*will you actually work after school?
*how much career ambition (ladder-climbing) do you aspire for? (AND would it matter to him if that changed, i.e. you decided to stay home/take the promotion afterall??)
*Do you own a house now, or does he? (will you be sharing "everything" money/finance-wise equally?)
*what degree(s) did you/he get...are getting? Will they pay more than a "reporters" income...are you both "okay" if that is all it ever becomes?...and what "could" your incomes "most likely" become. (sort of plays off of previous questions)
*Oh, yeah...if planning to have kids... how many...what if they were all boys... or all girls??? (I had all boys(2)...my cousin had all girls (4))

AFTER you've both "honestly" dealt with some of those "pre-marriage" concerns...then maybe get married....but I'd still be concerned that you haven't been out on your own, really, yet.

"just thoughts"

My bf and I will get married while I'm in grad school. So long as you two can survive- get married. Since you'll get out of school while he's still in school the two of you will still hava na income while you look for a job so I don't see what the problem is.

It seems that since you both have jobs you should be able to support yourselves well enough already. It would just be best to hold off on kids for a while.