i just got a new job working for a very hard (though very generous with pay raises) boss yesterday and then found out i was pregnant today. Its a small office with just the doctor and 3 employees including myself so i know in the long run, he will not be able to have that position empty when it comes time for maternity leave and i am afraid once its known i am pregnant they will see me as "temporary" and invest less in me than they would if I wasn;t. He even told me in the interview ( before i found out) that he has lost a lot of girls to pregnancy. I feel really bad about the timing but one of the best things about this job is the advancedment oppertunity ( my friend started less than a year ago at $5.50 and now makes $9.50 and he hates her cuz he says she is too "bubbly") I am just afraid that i will miss out on that now because he thinks he will lose me too (and honestly after the baby is born he might since we will have no sitter and don't trust/ know very well anyone in this town. Let me add that i am thrilled to be pregnant, while my job does not offer a lot of money keep in mind i am a career women who loses my mind staying home with nothing to do, I live with my boyfriend and he is very supportive, we are in a great relationship and have been through everything together. Though we did not plan this we like to think of it as a suprise, and we are more than ready to care for a child, both financially and physically and emotionally. He alone makes a great amount of money, plenty for us, and i am working because i love to, i like the feeling of accomplishment and i like buying things and knowing i worked for that, but i don't need the job, i just want it VERY badly, i love it,and its only 3 days a week but 8-11 hors a day depending on if the patients walk in late with emergancies as the doctor will see walk-ins till 5:45, Plus in a small town where jobs are hard to find we like knowing that we have the 2 best jobs in town, I am a chiropractic assistant!!! Don't listen to Scarlett Rose. She is a pro at killing and advising others to kill their babies. It is just a job. No job is worth the price of your family. Who knows, maybe your unborn child will become something big, perhaps president. Then you would not ever have to work. He/She would be so happy of the sacrifices you made for Him/Her. quit the job with such pre conditions. have the baby, opportunity will again knock. dont worry they have to hold your job for you. don't tell your boss yet. and they cant discriminate against you because your pregnant You could try to get to know people before your baby is born, like at parenting classes at a church or something. That way when it's time you wont have to miss too much work because you can have someone who will watch the baby.
You'll have to tell him sooner or later! I would keep the job and if things get bad talk to him and let him know that what he is doing is illegal. Or you can work up untill you have your baby and find a different job for when you are done with maternity leave. well if you need the money keep it and if not then don't keep it.
but think its not just you anymore its you and someone else
life is gonna get hard for awhile but trust in god and he will be there for you and your new family. he has given this child to you in trust that you will take care of it. trust your best judgment not one can tell you what to do on a job. your a very smart girl and congratulations on your new adventure in life. i have 2 of my own there wonderful good luck and best wishes. He cant fire you for being pregnant and he has to give you 12 weeks of after the baby unpaid of course. I would wait at least 4-5 months before telling him. I have the same problem! However i knew i was pregnant! I start this job making a lot more money than I ever had. I have been here for 2 months and Im 21 weeks pregnant (So im starting too show). I haven't told herthat im pregnant yet and neither should you. Wait untill they ask you... like when you start getting bigger! That way you keep your job! good Luck girl and congrats! The sitution is tough. But if you just found out then you have time to say anything. the law says Pregnancy shouldn't interfer with your job. You don't have to say a word for 2-3 months anyway. That happened to the lab tech I work with now. We started one day apart. Our clinic was new. She found out the day she started working (not hired) that she was pregnant. She had lost a few pregnancies before that, so she waited until after the first trimester to tell the docs. Everyone was really understanding, we had a temp come in until she was ready to come back. We all still work together. If you think you may want to be a stay at home mom, it would be best to inform your employer that you are pregnant and plan to work throughout your pregnancy but not after wards so they can start planning ahead. I hate it when prospective employers bring up pregnancy. It feels like a threat that if you get pregnant your job is a risk. They know full well that if they fired you for being pregnant, they would be paying you anyway. you can find a better job than that...if thats all the job pays is 5.50 to start out then theres jobs in hospitals that pay more than that to start out( depends on how old you are) My suggestion is to start the job and say nothing of your condition. Work your butt off (this will be hard because the beginning of pregnancy is plagued with overwhelming fatigue). Prove that you are a good employee. Try to show up early and always ask if there is anything else that should be done before you leave.
Then in a few weeks when people know you / like you... you should ask for a meeting with the doctor. Tell him that you are pregnant and that you are concerned about the way he might perceive you and tell him you just found out (I'd fudge the day I found out, maybe even the due date) Tell him the reasons that you like the job, and how you intend to continue to work there despite your pregnancy. Tell him what you are willing to do for the business. He will be thinking " maternity, days off, lightened work load, whining etc" these are common among pregnancy related concerns in workplace.
He may still have harsh feelings but if that is the case it is unrelated to you. It is related to the many girls he has lost to pregnancy before. If you do the above you are handling yourself respectfully and should not be the least ashamed. Also, if he still has a problem, you wouldn't want to work there, despite the pay.
Best of Luck
and
Congratulations. first of all, don't feel bad that you are pregnant. even if you found out a week ago--you are entitled to hold a job just like anyone else. and he cannot discriminate against you. or fire you because you are pg. i would wait until you are in your 2nd trimester to tell him. unless morning sickness starts to get in the way. i wouldn't apologize for it. i would tell him you have every intention to do a good job and come back after the baby is born. if you don't....that's your decision. NEVER tell them you are not coming back until you are expected to come back from leave. i know that sounds mean---but you may change your mind. and it is just as if any other person quit and gave notice. why should you give a 9 month notice? also, most companies will not pay your maternity leave if you let them know you are not coming back. so a lot of women report back to work for the first day or week---then quit. i am a stay at home mom of 3 now, so i can relate to not leaving your baby with a stranger. but, my husband lost his job a few months before our first child was born. and i had to go back to work---she was born in november, and he didn't get a job until march. i had every intention of staying with my daughter, but my situation changed. if you need the job, and like it---you have time to figure out your situation. you have 9 months to prove you are a good employee. maybe he can even find some things for you to do at home or PT. now, while you are on maternity leave, he has to take you back. just know, it doesn't have to be the same job. if you decide to not return---just be honest...daycare didn't work out. Stay on the job and work your butt off. When you are showing, then announce your pregnancy, and tell him whether or not you plan to stay after the baby is born. My dad's boss was hired when she was 6 months pregnant and is still there 10 years later. I know it's gonna be kinda weird telling them and you are gonna feel like you are gonna lose your job but they can't fire you because you are pregnant. You should go ahead and tell them so they can prepare for you to get your benefits. Plus they might enjoy having a pregnant employee/co-worker.Oh and read about similar situations in pregnancy related books such a the overachievers guide to getting pregnant fast. By law, workplaces cannot discriminate against any physical or emotional problems....also, you are entitled to 6 weeks maternity leave without losing your job or being replaced. Check with your local FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act) or look up your states maternity leave law. This can give you peace of mind. Also tell your boss within the next couple of weeks. He will be less upset if you tell him earlier than waiting till its too late and he has invested in you thinking you will be a permanent fixture. Also explain to him that you expect to be back after your leave and will resume your duties. Whether you come back or not, this will make him feel better. Good luck. My opinion on this is to not saying anything until your basically popping. If you go about your business and come to work whats he gunna do? Your preganant...and? If you cant do your job having a bigger belly then thats another thing...me im a receptionist, I wont say nothing when i become pregnant...the bigger i get...oh well. the time i say anything is "hey its obvious im about to pop...i need to go on maternity leave now!"....because my friend that worked as a receptionist at a car dealership said she was pregnant right when she found out...got fired because they didn't wana deal with it and then guess what? She had a miscarriage...wow that must have sucked....you get it though? There is no reason or need to tell them anything until the time you need to take time off. If you're so shocked about your pregnancy, then it means you're not ready and it wasn't planned. Abort it.
Would you rather lose a good job, and not be able to support your child in the future?
Have an abortion.
For the pro-life idiots:
Pregnancy should be a choice. How can somebody force a woman to carry an unwanted child? That is abuse. NOBODY can and/or should be forced to physically do something they don't approve of. Carrying a child for 9 months requires alot of PHYSICAL and EMOTIONAL energy and strength. Being pregnant is not as easy or as pleasant as some may think. Being pregnant means being EMOTIONALLY and FINANCIALLY ready to have a child. Why would somebody even think about having a child when they are on the verge of going bankrupt, living on the streets, and not being able to support themselves? How can you expect them to support a living, breathing child emotionally and physically? Why would you introduce a child to such a miserable life? They are better off dead. Poverty sticken people have the right to have sexual pleasure and sometimes, even if protection is used, mistakes happen; That does NOT mean that they should be bringing a child into this world.
Abortion is also an option for the more financially secure people. Accidents ALWAYS happen; Condoms can break, Birth control is not 100% effective, and sometimes people just forget to use protection or don't have protection at the time. That does NOT mean that they should have an unwanted child. Something else which has happened many times is RAPE. Many girls have been raped in the past and were forced to carry a child. That is the stupidest thing ever! How does that make any sense? Why should somebody be forced to carry a child which is the product of RAPE? Why would somebody even want to mother a criminal's child which is only alive because of a TRAUMATIZING experience? That's insane! Abortion is not wrong. Anybody who says "Abortion is murder" is an ignorant fool who should use their brain and THINK OUTSIDE OF THE BIBLE. Abortion is not murder. [ MURDER- Noun. The unlawful killing of one human by another, especially with premeditated malice. ] THIS IS COMMON SENSE: How can abortion be considered "murder" when the fetus was never even born? If the "baby" is not breathing and living on its own, without the the help of the mother's body, It can not be "murdered". Somebody can not be murdered untill they are born! It just does not make sense to call it "murder".
Most pregnancies are terminated before the fetus is even visible. How can it be considered murder when the fetus is almost invisible? The fetus can not feel a thing therefore nobody can say it is "wrong". Even if the fetus is already visible, "living", and breathing, it is not a REAL life. Think about it this way: If you took a 4 month old fetus out of the body of a woman, it would NOT be able to survive on its own. It is only a REAL life when the baby is viable; when it can survive on its own without the help of the mother's body...Otherwise, it is just a potential at life and NOTHING ELSE.
Even I admit that abortion during the third trimester is WRONG. For example: If you took a 7 1/2 or 8 month old baby out of a mother's body, as opposed to a four month old fetus (as I mentioned above), it is more than just a potential at life, it IS life. That 7-8 month old fetus has the chance of surviving outside of the mother's body at that early of an "age" (with medical assistance, of course) while the four month old fetus has NO chance at survival no matter how much medical assistance is provided.
Anyway, This is not about the fetus, about what it can "feel", or about what's right or wrong, It's about the Mother. A woman's body is a woman's body and NOBODY can force her to do something she doesn't want to do with her body. When a woman is pregnant, it is still HER body and ONLY her body and she can do whatever she wants with it. A woman should not be forced to go through 9 months of Physical and emotional discomfort for something that will be born into a fucked up, unwanted child. Forced pregnancies will only give the child a bad life. The child won't have sufficent love, emotional, physical, and [in some cases] financial support. This child will most likely not have a quality life and does not deserve to go through so many difficulties. The mother also does not deserve to have to deal with an unwanted child; She should not have to waste time, money, and energy to raise an unwanted child which was brought into this world by force. It is NOT fair.
Also, It is NOT about the fetus! It's about the mother! Who cares about the fetus? Since when is a tiny piece cells and tissue that can NOT feel anything more important than a grown woman? NEVER! Women are more important!
Something important:Men do NOT have the right to stop a woman from getting an abortion. Abortion is ONLY the woman's business because it is HER body and HER choice and any man's opinion does NOT count; he does not have the right to stop the woman from getting an abortion and/or judge and critisize a woman who has had an abortion, has considered getting an abortion, or one who will get one in the future. How dare a man even say that abortion is wrong when he is a MAN? He will NEVER IN HIS LIFE get pregnant. Men don't have the slightest clue about what it is like to be a woman. How can a man say abortion is wrong when he doesn't nor will he ever understand the phyiscal and emotional difficulty of pregnancy? IT JUST DOES NOT MAKE SENSE. If you're a man, I suggest you SHUT THE **** UP and GET A CLUE; The day your penis turns into a vagina and your body changes to accomodate a child inside your stomach, you will have the right to talk about abortion...Too bad that will never happen so shut the **** up. You never will have to carry a child and i'm 100% sure no man would ever want to, so why do you all assume that a WOMAN would want to?
Another big issue: Abortion is none of anybody's business aside from the mother. If all you brainwashed, brainless, ignorant, stupid, highschool drop-out, trailer trash, bible freak, pro-life whores are so anti abortion then don't get an abortion! It's THAT easy. Just worry about yourself and leave everybody else alone! Stay out of everybody's business. If we want to "kill" fetuses, then we can. It's our business, so go get a life and stay out of our lives.
Also, Many people say: "Why would you kill a child when you can just give it up for adoption? There are so many people who want children but can't have any."
That is the stupidest thing ever! Why should somebody have to suffer for 9 months? Why would they want to carry a child for no reason? Going through so much emotional and physical discomfort for 9 months is pointless if you will just go back to your life as if nothing happened and you will have no affiliation with the child afterwards...You will be thinking: "What did I just waste the last 9 months of my life doing? I could have accomplished so much in those 9 months. I can't believe I went through so much pain just to bring a child into this world whom I will never see again. etc etc"
It is a waste of time! You are only making YOUR life worse.
Even if you do go through 9 months of pregnancy to carry an unwanted child, You WON'T want to give it up for adoption after you see it. It's not that easy. Do you really think that you can give a child away after you've gone through so much to give it life and after you've had it come out of you, held it, heard it cry, etc? NO! Even if it was an unwanted child, It's not THAT easy! After it is born, You will want it.
BUT...Let's say that you DO give it up for adoption, Don't be so sure that somebody will adopt it. Please remember that there are SO many foster homes with children who have been living there for years and have been waiting for a family to adopt them. There are plenty of children in this world who don't have families, so whoever says "There are so many parents who can't have children but want children and there aren't enough in this world" are idiots! Look around you, this world is so overpopulated! Go to your local foster home and you'll see so many sad children without families. Why don't you adopt them all since you're so "Pro-life"?
The world does not need anymore unwanted children. There is not an 100% chance that you child will be adopted. If there were an 100% chance, then there wouldn't be SO many children out there without families.
Why abortion is LEGAL, should REMAIN LEGAL, and why abortion is RIGHT:
1. Laws against abortion kill women. To prohibit abortions does not stop them. When women feel it is absolutely necessary, they will choose to have abortions, even in secret, without medical care, in dangerous circumstances. In the two decades before abortion was legal in the U.S., it's been estimated that nearly a million women per year sought out illegal abortions. Thousands died. Tens of thousands were mutilated. All were forced to behave as if they were criminals.
2. Legal abortions protect women's health. Legal abortion not only protects women's lives, it also protects their health. For tens of thousands of women with heart disease, kidney disease, severe hypertension, sickle-cell anemia and severe diabetes, and other illnesses that can be life-threatening, the availability of legal abortion has helped avert serious medical complications that could have resulted from childbirth. Before legal abortion, such women's choices were limited to dangerous illegal abortion or dangerous childbirth.
3. A woman is more than a fetus. Some people argue these days that a fetus is a "person" that is "indistinguishable from the rest of us" and that it deserves rights equal to women's. On this question there is a tremendous spectrum of religious, philosophical, scientific, and medical opinion. It's been argued for centuries. Fortunately, our society has recognized that each woman must be able to make this decision, based on her own conscience. To impose a law defining a fetus as a "person," granting it rights equal to or superior to a woman's 鈥?a thinking, feeling, conscious human being 鈥?is arrogant and absurd. It only serves to diminish women.
4. Being a mother is just one option for women. Many hard battles have been fought to win political and economic equality for women. These gains will not be worth much if reproductive choice is denied. To be able to choose a safe, legal abortion makes many other options possible. Otherwise an accident or a rape can end a woman's economic and personal freedom.
5. Outlawing abortion is discriminatory. Anti-abortion laws discriminate against low-income women, who are driven to dangerous self-induced or back-alley abortions. That is all they can afford. But the rich can travel wherever necessary to obtain a safe abortion.
6. Compulsory pregnancy laws are incompatible with a free society. If there is any matter that is personal and private, then pregnancy is it. There can be no more extreme invasion of privacy than requiring a woman to carry an unwanted pregnancy to term. If government is permitted to compel a woman to bear a child, where will government stop? The concept is morally repugnant. It violates traditional American ideas of individual rights and freedoms.
7. Outlaw abortion, and more children will bear children. Forty percent of 14-year-old girls will become pregnant before they turn 20. This could happen to your daughter or someone else close to you. Here are the critical questions: Should the penalty for lack of knowledge or even for a moment's carelessness be enforced pregnancy and childrearing? Or dangerous illegal abortion? Should we consign a teenager to a life sentence of joblessness, hopelessness, and dependency?
8. "Every child a wanted child." If women are forced to carry unwanted pregnancies to term, the result is unwanted children. Everyone knows they are among society's most tragic cases, often uncared-for, unloved, brutalized, and abandoned. When they grow up, these children are often seriously disadvantaged, and sometimes inclined toward brutal behavior to others. This is not good for children, for families, or for the country. Children need love and families who want and will care for them.
9. Choice is good for families. Even when precautions are taken, accidents can and do happen. For some families, this is not a problem. But for others, such an event can be catastrophic. An unintended pregnancy can increase tensions, disrupt stability, and push people below the line of economic survival. Family planning is the answer. All options must be open.
At the most basic level, the abortion issue is not really about abortion. It is about the value of women in society. Should women make their own decisions about family, career, and how to live their lives? Or should government do that for them? Do women have the option of deciding when or whether to have children? Or is that a government decision? The anti-abortion leaders really have a larger purpose. They oppose most ideas and programs that can help women achieve equality and freedom. They also oppose programs that protect the health and well-being of women and their children.
Anti-abortion leaders claim to act "in defense of life." If so, why have they worked to destroy programs that serve life, including prenatal care and nutrition programs for dependent pregnant women? Is this respect for life?
Anti-abortion leaders also say they are trying to save children, but they have fought against health and nutrition programs for children once they are born. The anti-abortion groups seem to believe life begins at conception, but it ends at birth. Is this respect for life?
Then there are programs that diminish the number of unwanted pregnancies before they occur: family planning counseling, sex education, and contraception for those who wish it. Anti-abortion leaders oppose those, too. And clinics providing such services have been bombed. Is this respect for life?
Such stances reveal the ultimate cynicism of the compulsory pregnancy movement. "Life" is not what they're fighting for. What they want is a return to the days when a woman had few choices in controlling her future. They think that the abortion option gives too much freedom. That even contraception is too liberating. That women cannot be trusted to make their own decisions.
Americans today don't accept that. Women can now select their own paths in society, including when and whether to have children. Family planning, contraception, and, if need be, legal abortion are critical to sustaining women's freedom. There is no going back. Your boss can't fire you because your pregannt and your only obligated to tell your boss that your pregnant by the 15th week before the baby is due...so technically until your 25 weeks or 6 months you dont have to tell him...and he cant fire you because of that and he has to give you AT LEAST 6 weeks maternity leave but since he has less than 50 employess he doesn thave to pay you(thats he choice...yea sucks I know) but when you come back he has to put you in an the same or equal position making the SAME pay as before.....so honestly you can just tough it out until then and save money....make sure you tough it out though....even if you cant come back to work(which should be soley your choice) at least you'll have about 6 months savings...and if you think I'm lying go to the Department of Labor website....KNOW YOUR RIGHTS!!!!!!!!!! Your boss sounds like a jerk. |
