I am getting a divorce and have custody issues?

I am getting a divorce because my ex molested our 3yr old daughter, but for some reason the judge granted him temporary supervised visitation. I don't think this is healthy for her physically or emotionally but everyone says that I have to do it.
His criminal case is still open and his first court date is next week. The DA's office told me this is a plea bargin set for next week and if he doesn't plea then it could be months before he goes to court. I don't think i can keep puting my daughter through this, it is only hurting her.
The visits last all day Saturday and Sunday every other weekend.
Any advice?

Wow that must be a horrible situation to be in.
but you have to comply with the court order otherwise you can be held in contempt.
The visits are supervised right? Who's supervising them? One can hardly hope this person does a good job!!
Good luck, hang in there!!!

Get a better lawyer!!

do you have solid proof that he molested her? if so don't divorce him just get your brother to kill him. i know that if someone touched my kids thats what i would do

How is it ALL day Saturday & Sunday when it's supervised by a court liason?

Try filing a protection order.

Does your child have an advocate for her (not just your lawyer or the DA)? CASA is an organization that provides advocates for children. Maybe a CASA advocate could help you get the judge to see how this could harm your daughter. Who supervises the visits? I hope it is the state and not some relative of his.

Good luck!

OMG THAT F IN BASTERD WHY DID THE JUGDE GIVE HIM CUSTODY????????

have him killed! no but really what a sick indavidual to even think about touching a 3 year old. may god have mercey on his sole and i hope he gets the punishment he diserves. Send him down here to texas ill take care of him for you.

As long as it is SUPERVISED visitation, and you are sure that your husband can never be ALONE with your daughter, then there is NOTHING you can do. You said that the visits last 'all day Saturday and Sunday' and I have a BIG question about that ... where does your daughter sleep at night, and who puts her to bed? WHO is the 'supervisor' (it should be a court appointed supervisor who is a psychologist or 'registered child advocate.' If you can not BE SURE your daughter is going to be okay, then you should have your attorney file a 'writ of habeus corpus' to 'suspend' these visitations until YOU know that your daughter will be TOTALLY safe, and so will you.

he is still the father.or is he only good for the money now? he is sick and he needs help....the only thing you can do is hope that your child will forget what happened....which at three she prolly will....be glad its supervised and not unsupervised...i personally think he is a pervert and should have his weiner cut so he can not use it any more then tortured for the duration of his sentence (life)

you need to stay with your wife because of your child

l can't believe that a judge would grant visitation with a criminal case pending. you need to fight this and appeal. This doen't sound right to me. Is the criminal case for molestation or something else?

As long as the visits are supervised, then you don't have to worry. Unfortunatly there is nothing you can do but wait, for the courts to decide.

RUN! Seriously.

Move out of that district & you will get a new judge.

Make symptoms up and keep her in the hospital for a few days?

What an asshole judge!

I would not do it. I would move to another country 1st.

Ask your ex-husband to decline the visitation & recognize that he is mentally ill for ruining the baby's life! Maybe he will see it is true.

I am so sorry for you & your daughter. Too bad you didn't catch him, you could have killed him & gotten away with it.

That's horrible. Supervised you say? By whom? You? If so, that is awful to have to stay there all day for both days. That ruins your whole week-end. Talk to your lawyer. Maybe he can do something.

If your daughter is being traumatized by her visits, see if you can get her examined by a court appointed psychiatrist. If he/she says it is harming her to see him, then maybe the court will do something about it.

I'm sorry but these people that say stay married for the sake of the child are delusional. I've known a lot of people who stayed together because of their kids and the marriage and their kids were traumatized by it. They condone staying with someone who will molest the kids. How is that right?

Are you pressing criminal charges against him? I don't think at 3 your daughter is aware of any trauma emotionally by seeing him if the visitation is supervised. The courts could take years to process the criminal care and you will be required to abide by all their rulings until the divorce is final. Even if he serves his time and is out, he still has visitation rights to his child. Your life will be changed forever after a divorce until she turns 18. Every other weekend, and one day in the week for dinner. If you can't live like that, then you shouldn't be getting a divorce.
Don't be afraid to change lawyers if you don't think things are working our or things are taking too long. Good luck with that, your ride is just beginning.

don't let him see her. My ex kept me from my kids plenty of times for no reason and if I wanted to fight it, I would have to take it to court and wait months for a hearing - every time she did it and all they would do is tell her to let me see them, but if she did it again, I would have to go thru the whole process again and nothing would really happen to her. In summary - tell him forget it - he probably won't bring any legal action against you and if he does, nothing will probably happen to you - I live in Penna - just tell anyone, you're not going to risk your daughter's safety until the whole court thing plays out - tell him to screw himself

This is an absolute outrage. You need to do EVERYTHING you can to protect your daughter. Go to any and every company that helps women, go to your local church, go somewhere, talk to anyone that will listen. Call Lutheran Social Services or Catholic Charities. Beg and plead for help from anyone that will listen to you. There isn't a reason great enough to continue traumatizing a child for life. You are her mother and YOU need to do everything you can to protect her. Fight for your daughters future!

did you know that you can get a lawyer for your child, if i'm not mistaken it won't cost you a thing. this lawyer will look out for the best interest of you child. i would look into it ASAP. as i agree with you he shouldn't even be aloud to have supervised visitation. but don't do something stupid like not letting your child go then you will be in contempt of court and that would not be good as you could end up in jail. but what ever you do, don't stop fighting this, do everything within the law to keep your child safe. best of luck to you and your child, i'll say an extra special prayer for you and your child. may God be with you and her.

The law of the land in north America is that you are innocent until proven guilty. Your husband is not a molester until it is proven so. He has every right to visit his daughter at this time.

There are lawyers who specialize in representing the interests of children....look into it. Also understand that this is supervised and temporary....he is not allowed alone with her and his behavior is being monitored...anything not above board will be reported to the judge. if he is found guilty then the supervised visitations will be suspended.....speak to your lawyer on what can be done to protect her. perhaps a psychiatric evaluation could be conducted on your daughter to determine how detrimental emotionally and mentall these visits are...a professional opinon carries more weight than a parent's concerns. Good Luck.

Unfortunately there really isn't anything you can do until he is convicted. Thank god they are supervised visits. Maybe you should get your daughter a lawyer of her own. They are called a gardeumatlightum. Sometimes the courts will appoint them. They are the only ones who can speak out for your daughter that the judge will actually take into consideration. Unfortunately the judge might think that you have a biases opinion against your soon to be ex and that you will say anything to get custody. I hope everything works out for you and your daughter. Good luck.

If he did molest your daughter she is going to have to deal with seeing him during her life at some point in time.

Now unless he agrees to simply walk away from his child the only option you have is to ask the court to terminate his parental rights, but they aren't going to do that until after he's convicted of molesting her and you'll have to prove that being around him even supervised is causing her psychological damage.

If he's getting supervised visitation then there should be no chance of him doing it again. As long as the visits are supervised and remain supervised along with counciling perhaps she can come to terms with what he did and have some kind of limited relationship with her father, although it's definately never going to be a typical father/daughter relationship.

However keep in mind that if you seek to terminate his parental rights, in the future your daughter is going to have questions about her biological father. Who he was? What happened and she may need to confront him about it for her own well being. Removing him from her life can cause just as much damage as leaving him apart of it. it's a tricky situation and in the end either way it's the child who has to suffer.

I'm very sorry this happened to your daugther and I wish you all the luck and prayers I can.

stay married