Answering machine at the Mental Hospital...?

Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline ...

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, Social Security number and your mother's maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y and c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.

if you like this joke press 10.......10....

Good one, made me chuckle anyway xx

excellent i dont usually read these list jokes but that was funny
once more the queen is winning

HAHA! quite impressive!

good

thats wrong, but.....pretty funny

did you hang up yet?????

not funny

makin jokes out of serious mental conditions...ur sick i tell u...SICK.

funny

mean......you know some people how are like that read this stuff.....

Seen most of this before. Some of those I have seen are reasonably funny.

One note 'Manic-Depressive' and 'Bi-Polar' are the same thing.

Niceeee! I actually got this joke!

sad you want to make fun of mental illness i think you have problem like the people who kiss your a s s every time you post a joke

hilarious keep goin funny the wife keeps telling me that

Hehehehhehehehee!! Hilarious! way funnier than your previous one!! 15/10!!!

That's a cracker!

always great to read these sort of jokes.
thanks for making me laugh.

lol! i liked it!

you rang