Is this proper telephone etiquette?

When either of my children or myself answer the phone we say "Hello." Caller asks for someone. We say "May I ask who is calling". I was brought up to answer the phone that way and I always thought it was polite.

Well, my boyfriend finds it very rude that children are asking who is calling. Sometimes he won't answer them at all. If he does respond he makes up a fake name. He doesn't feel that children need to know this information. He always complains about this and tells me how rude it is. He chastizes the kids and we end up debating the proper way to answer. I'm really sick of this argument. I'm even more sick that he is disrespecting my children.


Is it rude? Does anyone answer the phone in this manner?

that is the proper way to answer the phone.

If that is rude telephone etiquette then I am guilty too. That's how I answer the phone too.

that funny

not rude at all. sounds like your man is the one with the etiquette problem.

i think its rude and disrespectful that he gives your children false names or doesnt respond to them when they ask. i was reaised to do the same thing as you.

I think it is correct and polite...tell him to get over it

That is the proper way and if they don't like it to bad

I think its very appropriate, so that they can tell whoever the phone is for who is calling and perhaps give them a heads up. im a teen and my mom always tells me to ask whos calling....dont listen to ur bf

That is how I answer the phone. Teaching the children to ask who is calling is a good safety measure. Your boyfriend should at least understand THAT! Anyone could be calling to find out if they are home alone, they should know who is calling before they give any information!

Personally, I think he's a borderline nutcase for taking offense to that. If they don't ask who it is, it could be anyone at all, even someone you don't wanna talk to. If I was you, I'd tell my kids to keep doing it, and when pulls another fake name, you could say you don't know who that person is, and tell them to hang up. I think he'd get over that soon after, if you kept it up.

It is not rude at all in my opinion. If someone calls your number, no matter who answers, if they are a resident they have a right to know who is calling. I personally find it very impressive when I call a number and child responds in that manner. It shows me that the parent(s) are on the ball and really are making an effort to equip the child for dealing with people. Sounds like your boyfriend might be harboring some control issues. I think you would do well to set a boundary about him chastizing your children. That should definately be a red flag for you.

That's not rude! It's rude to call and not let the person know who it is! Your boyfriend is out of line to chastize your kids for having proper etiquette. If he doesn't want people to know he is calling, he doesn't need to be calling at in the first place. That's really childish behavior on his part. Almost sounds like an honesty issue, if he doesn't want people to know it's him, I don't see what his deal is...

i do answer the phone like that but if he thinks its rudness go along with him or get a phone with an id screen

You know what. That is not rude, that is common courtesy. I was taught the same thing and whenever I call my friends house and their children answer, they ask the same thing. It is not rude and it is not being nosey.

If your boyfriend is doing that to your children, I would suggest telling him to straighten up or name him Jack and tell him to hit the road. Because if he is treating your children that way now, imagine what a monster he would become if you ever choose to get married.

That's how we normally answer. Besides, for me it's rude for someone who call and refuse to speak. Furthermore it's not a big deal (knowing who's calling)

well i answer the phone like that. i think its your bf who has the problems the kids are just asking. and the fact that your bf makes of fake names is totally 100% rude and disrespectful he has no right to criticize the way u raise your kids

I don't always ask who's calling because we have caller ID. But when I answer the phone and it is for someone else I ask if the caller ID doesn't show. It could be a bill collector or someone they don't want to talk to so why force them to because you don't know who's on the other end? I prefer to know who is on the phone waiting to talk to me.

Well the key work here is "May" as in "May I ask who is calling" and a valid response should be "No" as in "No you may not". It should be the caller鈥檚 choice to divulge the information and the calls receiver to decide whether or not to speak to the yet unidentified person.

It's not rude. Your boyfriend is rude. The only information that is asked for is the name. It's not some top-secret confidential information they are asking for. Your bf is treating your children like ignorant people who don't know anything.

Your children are 100% correct

That is the proper way yes, your hubby is an overreacting jerk with a control problem. ditch him asnd get someone with some class.

"Yes it is! He's a bum and he just uses that as a reason to harass your kids tell that bum to hit the road he has his on issues he cant tell you how to raise your children it seems like he is a real a** be smart get rid of that loser.

I was taught the same thing. I usually say "May I ask who's calling" or "Can I tell them who is calling, please". Tell BF to lighten up or lighten you load by getting rid of him. He is rude and disrespectful to your kids and they should come first.

i answer the phone this way as well. main reason being the that if i'm going to pass the phone to someone i can tell them who to expect on the other line. also, if you are screening you calls, it works great. there is also the fact that if you are not home, they need to know who called to write it down. if you ARE there, and you are busy, then you would need to know who it was so you could know whether to call back later, or drop everything to take that call. another reason to want to know who it is, is because you never know who is on the other line (unless you have caller id of course), if its some whack job crank calling, then more than likely they aren't going to answer now are they.


this may not work for you but i knew one person who would try to chastize me over the phone. i hung up on them. the great thing about a phone call is that if they call and are rude, or don't respond, you can always end the call. like the saying goes, my house, my rules. if you are going call my home, then you will answer my questions or you get the dial tone when i hang up.

More than 50% of the phone calls we receive are calls we don't welcome. We all ask who is calling please. If they give a name we are not familiar with, we say sorry that person can't come to the phone right now. May I have your phone number so he can call you back. I go 1 step further. If someone calls and says good evening, my name is-----, I will interrupt him and say, thank you we are not interested and hang up.
While I feel sorry for the poor telemarketer who tries to make some money. I hate this practice, and when ever possible I will not buy the advertised product and don't purchase anything from this advertiser.
To answer your question: no, it is not rude, it is the smart way. It may have been rude when I was a kid, but that was a long time ago, and if you received a phone call, you gladly would answer it.

Tell the kids to hang up if they get no reply - tell him to hit the road.