Sick and twisted jokes are needed!?

Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor.
The doctor says: "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."

Harry says, "My God. What's the good news?"

The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."

I've heard it told better, but a good joke nonetheless

lol lol that was great lol

A sick and twisted joke is a joke that needs help. Jokes were made to make people happy in a good way, not the way some people use them.

Sick & Funny - The traveling incense salesman was walking along the dusty road out of New Delhi when he realized he needed a place to sleep. He saw the root gatherers hut in the distance and headed for it. He knocked at the entrance-way and the root gatherer came to the door and said "Yes". The incense salesman said, " I am a traveling incense salesman and I need a place to sleep for the night." The root gatherer said, " You are welcome to sleep here, but you will have to sleep up in the loft with my daughter." He answered "OK" and climbed the ladder to the loft. The next morning he came down and squatted down next to the root gatherer and accepted a cup of tea. The root gatherer asked, "Did you enjoy sleeping with my daughter?". The salesman said, "Yes I did very very much, but I have to ask, why was there rice in her mouth?". The root gatherer replied, "Oh, that is not rice, that is maggots, she has been dead for two years."

Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree?
A: A baby nailed to a million trees. =)

Why do babies have soft spots on their heads?
So if there's a fire the nurses can carry them out five at a time. Visual......think bowling ball.