Am i treating my man badly?

Well in my household the male has to vacuum clean at least thrice a week, repair things around the house or organise to get them repaired, make the bed once a week, put the toilet seat up when he's finished, do the windows every four months, do shopping at least once in two weeks and this includes all the recycling that has to be done and taking out rubbish two times a week. There's no internet after ten o'clock in the evening and that applies to telephone calls that are not emergency or important. When he is out in the evening he will answer to the telephone call - or two - that I make or consider not coming home if he doesn't answer.

I mean why not when he gets to use the car all by himself 'coz i'm simply not intersted and has an evening - and sometimes two - alone with his friends every week. I want answers from both black and white people. I want to know how i'm being judged by him. Am I too mean or linient. I've also threatened to beat his head with a frying pan several times

Thanks kat.

I'll pretend you are my girl okay?

"Well in my household the male has to vacuum clean at least thrice a week,"

I clean the house everyday.

"repair things around the house or organise to get them repaired,"

They don't call me RAPAIR MAN MAN MAN MAN for nothing....

"make the bed once a week,"

I'll make the bed everyday as long as we mess it up at night.......

"put the toilet seat up when he's finished,"

I am house trained Ma'am.

"do the windows every four months,"

I clean everyday and still go to work.

"do shopping at least once in two weeks and this includes all the recycling that has to be done and taking out rubbish two times a week."

Already do that.

"There's no internet after ten o'clock in the evening and that applies to telephone calls that are not emergency or important."

Oh I get it......~_^

"When he is out in the evening he will answer to the telephone call - or two - that I make or consider not coming home if he doesn't answer."

Hmmmmmm..........you not coming home? Are you married?

"I've also threatened to beat his head with a frying pan several times"

Oh yeah? Put em up girl! Watch the feet work watch the feet work I am gonna give you the 1,2 knock out girl. My feet work is as smooth as butter yeah butter on oil and ice with no shoes

*get's hit with the frying pan*

OUCH OUCH OUCH!!!!

MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY!!

My tooth! MY TOOTH!

Your requirements sound resonable to me. I am a white 42 year old woman. I believe relationships are give and take. As long as things are equal, I see nothing wrong with that. You give him his freedom without question which is repect. Your relationship sounds right on to me.

Only your manservant can answer that question, it sounds like you are a bit of a control freak. Usually you hear of men being control freaks like my younger and dumber brother who is in total control of his wife's every move. We tried to save her but she refuses to leave the situation even though she is in fear of her life, or so she says. He doesn't even think it's a problem I can't stand to be near him for very long, I feel intolerant enough to want to hit him in his nose!!!!

That doesn't sound unreasonable. He only has to do a lot of those things infrequently. I'm sure if you wrote down the things you do on a daily basis, the list would be much longer.

Y does it matter if the people who reply are black or white?

U sound like his mum not his partner. No calls or internet after 10, why is it more expensive - i dont understand!
When hes out with his mates are u at home waiting for him? If so, use that time for urself or ur mates. He should always take ur call, if hes unavaliable at the time he should call back. If hes out all night without contacting u lock the door from the inside, give him the doorstep! If he is unhappy with the way u have divided the chores ask him what he would suggest...if he says u should do the lot grab the pan!

Hi! Sounds a lot like my household. We just don't do windows! ha. It's just a set of unwritten rules. Maybe they are not even rules because they are not that rigid but that's just how things fell into place. I do other things and some of the things only he can do like repairs. I think it's valid that in every household the work gets divided by who has the most time and/or ability to do it...Some other things you mention we do together because we like to or makes more sense, like grocery shopping. I don't see the problem.

Im with you on this, my husbands turkish and im white english and in his country i should do everything! but im not like that as a person. I beleive you shouldnt change for no man! so if this man wants to be with you and thats how you like things to work then thats cool. My husband works and he dont want me to work, i lie to him and say that bothers me but hey if your man gives you money to stay at home and go shopping then why not. so for that fact that he dont want me working, dont then mean because im at home all day i should do all that house work no bloody way! he takes rubbish out, washes up, cleans. And i do cooking ironing and that but when i dont feel like cooking then he has to either take me out or get takeaway. Things should be shared. Also i am the boss and he should do as he is told! lol but joking aside he loves me for it, yeah im fiesty and hard sometimes but he must like it as he lets me. And about the frying pan dont worry you need to keep your man in check sometimes and remind him what you would do to him if he played away so frying pans are good. Keep at it and you can train him well, takes time but it pays in the end. WOMEN ROCK!!! LOL

Only your manservant can answer that question, it sounds like you are a bit of a control freak.
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That's your answer right there.

Everything sounds reasonable, except the internet and out on the town phone call rules. Those strike me as controlling, or you are a jealous/suspicious type.

You REQUIRE these things not request them. It appears that you are the one making all the rules and he has to follow them. To be honest, most of the things you mention I also do and more. The difference is that I do them because I want to, because it is my home too and I want it to be be clean, and because my wife and I are a team and we work together to make our home run smoothly. My wife and I will sometimes discuss what needs to be done and who should do it. She does not dictate to me what I must do. She respects me far too much for that. Although our discussions about this and other things may get heated at times, she has never threatened me with a frying pan or any other weapon.
I'm going to buy my wife some flowers on the way home because reading your question has made me appreciate her even more.

You are very funny I must say. You have alot of humour. i think that pretty well sums up the life of a good husband. The use of the internet after ten..hummm and no phone calls? it sounds like you are treating him like your son. But otherwise the rest is great.

I completely agree with the fact that you need to divide housework between 2 parties, specially if both of you are working...That's how i do it at my house, we don't live in the 1900's anymore where women had to cook, clean, wash, etc all by themselves... Now, i don't agree with not letting him come home if he does not answer once - or twice- that is being a little controlling, he should answer though, but, it's not a good enough reason to kick him out.. Also, about no Internet or phone after 10, sounds like a curfew, he is a grown man, not a little kid. Don't over do it, unless you want to drive your man away.. You need to learn a little more linient...

I'm a guy < and If the guy really loves you, you wouldn't have to force him to do any of that stuff, but you will need to remind him of some things. Your not treating him bad, but the schedule is a little anal.