STORY ONE: Is Carlys mom saying that Carly was overweight before and now Carly is skinny or is Carly reading too much into this: STORY : Carly is THIN and A FEW DAYS AGO when Carly came home from work she changed into a tee-shirt but wore the same pants she wore to work. Carlys mom asked her as they sat down to eat if Carly lost weight, and Carly said no, but this upset Carly. Carly said to her mom that her mom always tells Carly she looks beautiful. Her mom said you do look beautiful but your pants look bigger. And she told Carly that Carly is skinny enough.鈥? (OK KEEP IN MIND THAT LAST WEEK WHEN CARLY AND HER MOM WENT TO VISIT CARLY鈥橲 AUNT IN ANOTHER STATE THEY TOOK THE BUS. (CARLYS AUNT GAVE A DESCRIPTION OF CARLY TO THE CAB DRIVER PICKING CARLY AND HER MOM UP AT THE BUS DEPOT BY SAYNG CARLY IS VERY SKINNY. (AND THE LAST TIME THE AUNT SAW CARLY WAS A YEAR AGO.)
STORY TWO: QUESTION I AM ASKING AFTER YOU READ THE STORY IS WHY would SANDY (a chunky girl ) tell MARY (a thin girl who is always told by strangers, relatives, friends she is thin/skinny, looks like a size 4) that Sandy thinks Mary is average and size 8,then pauses and adds in size 10. MARY (who is THE friend I am asking about) IS UPSET AS TO WHY SANDY WOULD SAY WHAT SHE SAID WHEN EVERYONE IS ALWAYS TELLING MARY SHE IS THIN/SKINNY AND SINGLE DIGIT SIZE. HERE IS THE STORY: Mary (very thin) and Sandy (chunky)met in the hallway, Mary told Sandy she got a parking spot right across the street. Sandy said to Mary Exercise. And the reason Sandy said she mentioned exercise because she is concerned about her heart. Mary decided to ask; Sandy do you think I am thin; As Sandy was putting stuff away Sandy replied to Mary; You are average, size 8 paused and added size 10;Mary left and went back to her desk. Four co-workers saw Mary and asked Mary what was wrong Mary told them the story. Her co-workers said to her; Mary you are thin/skinny and cannot be more than a size 4, and not more than 110 pounds. Then Mary said; So why did Sandy say average and size 10 if everyone sees me as skinny/thin size 4;They replied; Sandy is jealous; Do you agree/concur with Marys friends? Here are some things her co-workers and friends said after Sandys remark: Audrey: Mary you are so skinny Billy: Mary you are thin. Jill: No wonder Mary you are so skinny Tom: Mary you cannot weigh more than 100lbs Yvette: Thin I want to feel you Mary Sara: Mary you are thin Petunia: Thin not just saying that you Mary are thin - cannot weigh more than 90lbs Doris: How do you Mary stay so thin and you have to be a size 4; Joanne: Mary you are so thin Leslie: Mary is a thin person Helen: How skinny do you Mary want to be Arlene: He is a big man, however, you Mary I can push Iola: Mary you are very thin
STORY THREE: MY QUESTION: after you read the story: DO you agree with Susan that all Kerry is saying is that Patti is thin with shape STORY: The two players are Kerry and Patti. Kerry and Patti who were having a conversation about many things and then all of a sudden the following happened. Kerry said: Patti I think you are a size 5/6 in clothing, even the temp that works for me said you have to be a 5/6 in clothing. Patti didn't say anything. Kerry said; you have hips, but they are NOT big. Look at my hips, my hips are big yours are not; Patti just listened and didn't say anything.. At 5:00PM as Kerri ,Patti and Susan walked to their cars together Kerry told Patti again that Patti looks like a 5/6 in clothing. Patti asked Susan (a person who witnessed the conversation) Does Kerry think I have big hips; Susan replied; No Kerry does not. Kerry even told you that she doesn't think you have big hips. All Kerry is saying is you are thin with shape. "
STORY FOUR: MY QUESTION after you read the story: Did I give the right answer? STORY: My friend Peggy was out sick for two days in a row with food poisoning. When Peggy came back to work she met Tania by the ladies room at 9AM. Tania said; girl you are skinny, you lost weight. Peggy thought Tania was implying that Tania never thought Peggy was skinny before her two day illness (everyone is always telling Peggy she is skinny - all of her). Anyway around 3PM Peggy was in Tanias office and Peggy asked Tania did Tania think that Peggy still looked sick and does Tania think Peggy look pale. Tania said Peggy you do look pale. Then Peggy said to Tania did Tania think Peggy looks drawn like Tania told Peggy earlier. And Tania said she didnt say that. What Tania said she said was that Peggys face looked like it lost weight and when one isnt smiling and one looks pale their face looks thinner. That night Peggy called me on the telephone and told me the story and asked me was Tania implying that she never thought Peggy was skinny before her two day illness. And I told Peggy that Tania wasnt saying that at all, all Tania said was that Peggys face looked skinnier.
STORY FIVE: MY QUESTION after you read the story:: Do you agree/concur with Ramona's friends that Ramona should not be bent out of shape because the clerk could not see what she looked like due to the fact she was standing behind the partition and all he could see was her neck and face and she was wearing a coat. Ramona and the store clerk are the two people in the story. THERE AREABSOLUTELY NO SECURITY CAMERAS OR MIRRORS. STORY: Ramona came in and purchased her herb tablets. She asked him how much should one take. The clerk said to her that most women should weigh a 160 pounds, however, she weighs a little less so she can take less. The little less bothered her so she asked him to clarify what he thought she weighs he said 130 pounds. She replied you don't even know what I look like and he remarked that I see you come in here; Telling her that he thought she weighed 130 upset her because everyone always tells her that she looks like she weighs 110 or less.Also keep in mind that he wasn't facing her when he said this and there was a partition blocking his view of her so all he saw was her face and neck. When Ramona told her friends the story all of Ramona's friends said she should not be upset because when the clerk made the comment she was standing behind a partition and all he could see was her neck and face and Ramona was wearing a coat. KEEP IN MIND THE FOLLOWING:(1)RAMONA WAS WEARING A COATWHEN SHE CAME INTO THE STORE THAT DAY(2)LATER ON WHEN THECONVERSATION TOOK PLACE SHE WAS STANDING BEHIND A PARTITIONAND ALL THE CLERK COULD SEE WAS HER NECK AND FACE(3KEEPIN MIND EVERY ONE ALWAYS TELLS RAMONA SHE IS THIN/SKINNY ANDWEIGHS NO MORE THAN 110 POUNDS(4)THE CLERK ONLY SAW RAMONA ATOTAL OF FIVE TIMES SPREAD OUT OVER THE YEAR AND EVERY TIME HE SAW HER SHE WAS WEARING A COAT:(5)There are absolutely no cameras or mirrors
STORY SIX: MY QUESTION after you read the story: Do you concur with Colettes friends that Josie only said; Well; in a hesitant voice was because Josie never saw Colette standing, Josie only saw Colette sitting so Josie never realized how thin Colette is. STORY: Colette (who is very thin) went to a coffee shop for lunch and a girl who is there was eating lunch with her brother. The girl who is mentally challenged saw Colette eating a bagel and cream cheese and said; You shouldnt eat that;. The brother explained that his sister just came from a nutrition lecture. Colette told a co-worker the story and said; Do I look fat; The co-worker said; Colette you are very thin.; Later on Colette went to make Xerox copies of a report. Colette was standing on one side of the Xerox machine and Josie on the other and all they could see of one another was from the waist up. Colette and Josie exchanged small talk and then Colette said; Josie do you think I am thin?; Josie hesitantly said; Well, and then decided not to wait to make copies. Colette finished making copies went back to her desk. Late afternoon Colette got up to do something and Josie ran over and said to Colette; I only saw you sitting down, my god you are thin.; Colette that night got together with a few friends and in passing told them what transpired between she and Josie and all Colettes friends said ;the only reason Josie said; Well; in a hesitant voice was because Josie never saw you (Colette) standing she (Josie) only saw you (Colette) sitting so she (Josie) never realized how thin you (Colette) are and she (Josie) even admitted when she (Josie) saw you (Colette) standing that you (Colette) are thin.;
STORY SEVEN: MY QUESTION: after you read the story: Did I give Patricia the right answer. STORY: Today at work an elderly customer asked Patricia if she lost weight and Patricia told her no. The customer said that Patricias face looked like she lost weight, but maybe Patricia was tired. Then as they started to walk toward Patricias coworkers desk the elderly customer told Patricia that Patricia is so skinny. Patricia said to her that that Patricia was always skinny. The elderly customer replied you are like me you lose weight in face but gain in stomach. The stomach part bothered Patricia. Patricia said to the elderly customer that Patricia is skinny everywhere. The elderly customer told Patricia that Patricia is skinny every where. That the elderly customer does not want Patricia to get fat but Patricia should gain five pounds. The elderly customer said that the elderly customers stomach is big since the elderly customer retired. AND THE ELDERLY CUSTOMER THINKS PATRICIA IS SKINNY EVERYWHERE AND EVEN PATRICIAS HANDS ARE TINY. Patricia called me and told me the story and I told her that all the woman is saying that it looked Patricia lost weight in the face and Patricia is skinny everywhere including Patricias stomach, but the elderly lady has a big stomach.
STORY EIGHT: MY QUESTION after you read the story DO you agree with what we said to Lucy? STORY: My friend Lucy was sitting at the dining room table with her cousin Eileen. Eileen turned to Lucy and said: Lucy you are a size 8 in clothes and Lucy replied; Yes I am.鈥? Eileen said: I thought you are a size 8 but I could not remember if you told me you are a size 8 or 10. The next day Lucy told me and few of our other friends what Eileen said and Lucy asked us does my cousin think I am higher than a size 8 and we told her that no that Eileen does not think that at all
STORY NINE: MY QUESTION after you read the story do you agree with Jennifer鈥檚 friends? STORY: Lets say two people (Katie and Jennifer) worship in the same place. However, they really don鈥檛 come in contact with one another in the place of worship or any other place for that matter, but one day they meet in the parking lot in the shopping center in town. And Katie says (in a surprised voice) Jennifer you are so skinny. However, Jennifer is/was always skinny. And when Jennifer told her friends what Katy said her friends said to Jennifer: Katie never looked at you ever so that day in the parking lot she finally saw what you looked like and until that day she never realized how thin you are
STORY TEN: MY QUESTION after you read the story is do you agree with Mimis friends: STORY: Mimi is a size 6 but LOOKS SMALLER and she went to a flea market and a woman was trying to sell a pair of jeans. The woman turned to Mimi and said you are a size 10 ;my daughter is a size 10. That night when Mimi went home she told her friends what the vendor said and her friends said to her: the vendor just wants to sell her jeans, she would say the same thing to a size 2.
STORY ELEVEN What I am trying to ask is: that Patricia is telling Betty look how can I think you have plumb legs when I have never, ever seen them and it was only a dream nothing more. Here is the story again: "I know that Betty is reading into it: KEEP IN MIND IT WAS PATRICIA THAT HAD THE DREAM, NOT BETTY. PATRICIA HAD THE DREAM ABOUT BETTY and a Rock group. MY QUESTION: Can Betty accept the fact that Patricia does not think Betty has plump legs and it was only a dream.? The two players are Patricia and Betty. Betty always wears long wide skirts. Patricia and Betty were having lunch. Patricia told Betty she had a dream about a rock band that she and Betty love. The dream was as follows: Patricia and Betty were on a double date with John and Steve (two of the male rock stars). Patricia was with John and Betty was with Steve. Steve said I only like girls with plump legs and Patricia replied Betty has plumb legs. END OF DREAM. This dream got Betty upset and she asked Patricia are you saying my legs are plump. Patricia said NO I HAVE NEVER SEEN YOUR LEGS AND IT WAS ONLY A DREAM.
STORY:Sharon (age 52/SKINNY AND OBSESSED WITH WEIGHT) was in a place of worship with her mom (age 81) and Sharon's mom said to Sharon that woman's necklace is pretty. Sharon said mom it is ok all it is just a chain. Her mom said no it isn't there are diamonds. But Sharon said it is just a chain. Her mother replied; I never admire jewelry but her necklace is beautiful. This got Sharon upset because Sharon buys beautiful jewelry at a ninety nine cent store but looks like it came from Bloomingdales). Sharon got mad and said to her mom so you don't like my jewelry. Her mom said your jewelry is beautiful but you cannot compare it to the women鈥檚 necklace. Then Sharon said some nasty things outside of the place of worship to her mom . At home her mom said in a nasty voice today you came looking to place of worship like a skeleton, your neck is scrawny, . THEN UP at the house her mother came into Sharon's room and said in an angry tone you have the nerve to tell me to go to h*ll at place of worship. Your neck is scrawny, you have a fat rear end., you fat horse. Sharon then asked her mother about a half hour later when her came back into Sharon鈥檚 room to fight some more mom do you really think that about my rear end. Her mom replied in a angry nasty voice that she does because the mom is convinced Sharon meant all the nasty things Sharon said to her mom so her mom was not going to change her answers. Sharon called a couple of her friends and asked did my mom mean the nasty things she said about me (rear end) and her friends said no people say nasty things they DO NOT mean to someone they are fighting with just to hurt them and no your mom does not think your rear is big. She just said because you are obsessed with weight. My question: Do you agree with what Sharons friends said? OK, I am only going to answer the first question right now. During the day, I will read the other ones and try to answer them if I can.
The first one sounds like both Carly's mom and her aunt feel like Carly has lost too much weight and that she is too skinny. Being too skinny may look better than being over weight, but it is just as unhealthy as the other. So although they don't want to criticize her, they drop little hints like "have you lost more weight". But over all, I think they take being too skinny over being over weight, or their criticism would have been more direct.
Here's my opinion on the second story. In this story, the truth is taken to extremes from both sides. Let me explain. First of all, from what I know about women sizes, size 4 is not very very thin, it is thin but not the thinnest. I personally think it is a very good size to be in. So on one hand you have Sandy, who is a bit chunky, and she probably takes a little pleasure by taking jabs at skinny people, by telling them that they are not all that skinny and that they can be skinnier, and to emphasize the point, she guesses their size to be twice as big as what it is. On the other hand you have the co-workers, who want to be on the good side of Mary, and tell her that she is skinnier than what they may believe, just to make her feel good, and get on her good side. Now if Mary is attractive, or is a fun person to be around, both these lies are pushed further from the truth. Mary should take all comments with a grain of salt.
Story 3: This story does not give me a warm feeling about Kerry, and her authenticity. Why would she say that Patti had hips if she didn't think that Patti actually had big hips. So they may not be as big as hers, but she thinks that Patti has big hips, otherwise why would she say so. And if she really wanted to say that Patti was thin with shape, there are so many more positive way of saying so without saying that someone had hips. There is no other reason to say that except if she was certain beyond any doubt that Patti would take the statement as a complement. So I do believe that Kerry thinks Patti has big hips, and saying that Patti is thin but with shape is just a positive way of looking at it.
Story 4: I am with you on that story. After recovering from food poisoning, a person will look emaciated, flushed, and skinny, and not in a positive way. I think that Tania saw Peggy that way and that's why she said what she said, and not because she never thought Peggy was thin. I think you were right. I think Peggy is reading too much into Tania's simple statement.
Story 5: Being a guy, I can tell you for fact that most guys are clueless about how much women weight. Unless this is something they do for living, a guy's estimate on women's weight is usually an over-estimate. The reason for that is that guys usually deal with weights that are close to 200 pounds or greater. A guy who is in 160's is very thin. This frame of mind makes it impossible for an average guy to tell the difference between 130 and 110 by just looking at a girl, especially given that facts of the case as you mentioned.
Story 6: First thing, throw away the comment of the girl who said "you shouldn't eat that". No one should tell another if s/he should eat bagel with cream cheese. Fat or skinny, this is a choice that the person made, and if another does not have the mental capacity to let them enjoy their food, then the opinion of that person is irrelevant. Now, as for Josie's actions and words, I really cannot understand what is going on in her head. If the story that you said is complete, I cannot understand why someone would answer "well" to a question, then walk away without any further comments. This is extremely rude regardless of the question. And if these two girls work in the same office, I doubt that Josie had never seen Colette standing or walking around before. I would even say that Josie has probably other issues to deal with. The answer to "do you think I am thin" is always (or when in doubt) yes. Only close friends and relative should venture and say otherwise if that is the case.
Story 7: This is another case of misplaced statement. The elderly lady obviously thought that Patricia's face looked skinnier than before. This could be true, or could be that she just had a different image of Patricia. So when Patricia insisted that she has always been skinny, and that basically she is the same weight as before, the elderly lady tried to rationalize the statement. In her mind, since she was certain that Patricia had lost weight in her face, therefore she must have gained it elsewhere, and since in her case she always gained it in her stomach, therefore Patricia must have also gained it in her stomach. I don't think that the elderly lady ever thought Patricia was not skinny or that she had a big stomach. It is just a case of making sense of what you she thought was true (Patricia's face had lost weight) with what she was told to be true (Patricia's weight has always been the same), and her personal experience.
Story 8: Eileen was obviously considering the possibility that Lucy may have been size 10, but she did not think that likely. Here is the reason. If she gave it a 50-50 possibility that Lucy may have been size 8 or 10, her question would have been "What size clothes do you wear?" but by asking "you are a size 8 in clothes" she is trying to re-affirm what she thinks is the truth. So Eileen thought that Lucy was most likely size 8, but for some reason, size 10 was in her mind, and where that came from, I cannot tell.
Story 9: I am not going to go too much into this story, I agree with Jennifer鈥檚 friends
Story 10: I think that Mimi reminded the vendor of her daughter, so without actually taking a close look at Mimi, she assumed that she is the same size as her daughter, and therefore she was size 10. I don't think that the vendor was trying to be dishonest to sell jeans. It is very common for parents to think that their kids are smaller than they are, so even though vendor's daughter is probably twice as big as Mimi, the vendor probably imagines her Mimi's size, but since she is a vendor, she knows her daughter's size to be 10, so anyone who resembles her daughter must also be size 10.
Story 11: Dreams are funny things, but a lot of times they bring forth what is in your subconscious. So I would say that it is very possible that Patricia, either knowingly or unknowingly, thinks that Betty has plump legs. This is because, as you said, Betty always wears long wide skirts, and somewhere is Patricia's mind she is thinking that if Betty's legs were thin, she would wear shorts or shorter skirts, so she is probably hiding plump legs. This is not an illogical thinking. If you see someone wear, let's say gloves, all the time, even in the summer, you may think or believe that person is hiding something, maybe ugly fingernails.
Last one: First of all, I doubt that someone with an eye for jewelry would mistake a ninety nine cent piece of jewelry with something that came from Bloomingdales. So if the mother had such an eye, it should not be hurtful for her to admire a piece that is the real deal. Now as for her statement, it is true that when people are upset, they say anything to hurt the other person, but not just anything anything. If they say something absolutely untrue, then it is not hurtful because it is so obvious that it is not true. So statements are always around the areas that the other person feels most vulnerable about, and in this case Sharon's rear end. I would not be surprised if Sharon herself has complained about her rear end on occasions, so when the mother wanted to say something hurtful, she said that Sharon had fat rear end, regardless of if she actually believed it or not. She just knew that saying that would hurt the most. I cannot be sure what she actually thinks.
Hope this was helpful
Kia |
