Hillarious?

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love.
When it became
>apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme
sacrifice and gave up
>eating beans.
>
>
>
> Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke
down on the way home
>from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called
my husband and told
>him that I would be late because I had to walk home.
On my way, I passed by
>a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more
than I could stand.
>With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off
any ill effects by the
>time I reached home, so I stopped at the dinner and
before I knew
>
> it, I had consumed three large orders of baked
beans.
>
>
>
> All the way home, I made sure that I released
all the gas. Upon my
>arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and
exclaimed delightedly:
>"Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He
then blindfolded me and
>led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat
and just as he was
>about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He
made me promise not to
>touch the blindfold until he returned and went to
answer the call.
>
>
>
> The baked beans I had consumed were still
affecting me and the
>pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my
husband was out of the
>room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to
one leg and let one go.
>It was not only loud, but it smelled like a
fertilizer truck running over a
>skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.
>
>
>
> I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air
around me vigorously.
>Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three
more. The stink
>
> was worse than oked=20cabbage. Keeping my ears
carefully tuned to the
>conversation in the other room, I went on like this
for another few
>minutes.
>
>
>
> The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually
the telephone
>farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly
fanned the air a few
>more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and
folded my hands back on
>it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My
face must have been
>the picture of innocence when my husband returned,
apologizing for taking
>so long.
>
>
>
> He asked me if I had peeked through the
blindfold, and I assured him I
>had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and
twelve dinner guests
>seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!" I
nearly died!

Hahaha lmao very nice one never heard that before ;] 10/10 and a thumbs up!!

SOD THAT, ITS CR/P

hahah lol

Ah

The old ones are the best!

the old ones are always the best.

baked beans weird and wonderful>>>>

it was funny but took a long time to get there.

Wicked joke ;-D. Never guessed the outcome! Very funny.

Beans, beans the mircle fruit. The more you eat the more you toot, the more you toot the better you feel, so wat your beans at every meal.

ye heard it before but its a winner ha ha

That was a gas !

'Bean-tastic'

I've heared this before, but is still as funny as the first time around.

Just cringe worthy! ;-)

Very Good!
Prehaps the guests should have sung;
Beans Beans are good for your heart,
The more you eat
The more you fart!

TO LONG

I heard this one before but I still think it's a great joke. It still keeps me laughing every time I read it, LOL HAHAHAHAHA!!!

hahaha!!

Yeah that tickled me LOL

you had me laughing just by describing the smell of the fart~~
LOL

Thats old with mould!

oh my, I would of died too, thanks for the chuckle

that was SUBERB. i've seen this one but on tv ad where the guy picks up girlfriend from home then closes the door for her on her side of the car, while walking around the car the gf lets a big one rip and when the bf sits in his seat we see his parents sitting at the back of the car.
VERY FUNNY, but this was very funny as well, hehe

Someone wake me up !!

i like that that joke good one LMFAO