Have you ever had pains in your side through laughing, well you will have if you read this.?

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.

It all started one day when I was sitting at my desk and remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying, "Hello." I politely said, "This is Chris. May I please speak with Robin Carter?" Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an @$$hole!" and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word '@$$hole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an @$$hole!" It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic '@$$hole' calling would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said, Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're interested in the Caller ID program?"

He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an @$$hole!"

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for.

I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first @$$hole, ( I had his number on speed dial ), I thought I had better call the BMW @$$hole, too.

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

"Yes, it is."

"Can you tell me where I can see it?"

"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."

"What's your name?" I asked.

"My name is Don Hansen," he said.

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

"I'm home every evening after five."

"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

"Yes?"

"Don, you're an @$$hole." Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two @$$holes to call. But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be So, I came up with an idea.

I called @$$hole #1.

"Hello."

"You're an @$$hole!" (But I didn't hang up.)

"Are you still there?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Stop calling me," he screamed.

"Make me," I said.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Don Hansen."

"Yeah? Where do you live?"

"@$$hole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, @$$hole."


Then I called @$$hole #2.

"Hello?" he said.

"Hello, @$$hole," I said.

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are!"

"You'll what?" I said.

"I'll kick your @$$," he exclaimed.

I answered, "Well, @$$hole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 4 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street.

There I saw two @$$holes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and a news crew.

NOW, I feel better. Anger management really works.

that is hilarious! yay! it made me feel better, i'm home sick with a cold. thanks!

Nice story..... I think I might use your policy..... I LIKE IT!! }:)

old and modified but a good one

That is freakin hilarious. Thank you so much for posting this. Made my day! :)

OMFG THATS HILARIOUS! Where did you find that joke?!? I LAUGHED SO HARD MY FACE WAS RED AND WITH TEARS!

If this wasn't true, it needs to be! LOL!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

you had me laughing so hard

This is side splitting!!! Keep them coming.

dat is so funny got a stitch larfin will try dat though

My second laugh of the day! This is a whopper of a good joke!!! Stars for you!

Been sitting here for last hour paying bills, NOW I FEEl BETTER.... THANKX

ha this was kind of a cute story

My family are all wondering what I am laughing at right now as I don't laugh very often according to them. You have cheered me up no end especially as I have to go back to work tomorrow. Thank you for the giggle.

Was that from Cosmo or Maxim? I forget.... Hmmm..Funnier the first time I read it.

Ain't holding my side, but did write it down for future @$$hole confrontations ---- lol

Thanks needed a good laugh

OMG I laughed so long and hard I had to get up from my desk, and I also wet something just a little bit was not an ocean but you know.Coughing, got my sinus going forget the sinus pill, honey I never laugh that hard.And every time I see it in my minds eye I start laughing again,thanks for this its nice to read something like this and laugh compared to some that make you want to cry or mad can't wait until hubby get home and read it. Happy New Year Sweetie.

Bigmacbrian's an @$$hole.

That's funny.. for sure that is one way to take care of 2 azz H.. together.. I like to say killing 2 birds with one shot.. Good one.

an oldie but a goodie, thanks for the chuckle. Here, have another star to add to your growing collection

Damn That is good

This is truly Brilliant Suzie - laughed so hard my stomach aches! Thanks for a good laugh - stars coming your way!
CJ

And they say seniors can't have fun~whoever "they" are!!
Good one, stitch in side, tears running down my cheeks and coughing.

Yes I have had pains in my side from laughing. And I do right now and tears rolling down my cheeks. LOL

I wasn't gonna answer this, just star it but I hadda tell ya, I laughed so hard I scared my cat. She hasn't heard a sound like that out of me in several years.
Most jokes don't strike me as funny. They are lame. But this is an all-time winner. Thank you for all the typing you had to do.
I think you just healed my bronchitis!! All that gasping!!

So now I know. YOU'RE THE ONE. Stop calling me.

That is awesomely mean and twitsted and I love it. Thank you.

Too long to read. This question sucks.