Baked beans..lmao...lol?

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent
that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from
work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that
I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small
diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to
walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached
home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three
large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released
ALL the gas.

Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed
delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight!"

He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a
seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He
made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went
to answer the call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was
becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized
the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not
only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in
front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air
around me vigorously.

Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was
worse than cooked cabbage!!!

Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I
went on like this for another few minutes.
The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells
signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times
with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling
very relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned,
apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the
blindfold, and I assured him I had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated
around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL!!!!! BEST JOKE I HAVE EVER HEARD ID SAY!!!def stealing it...absolutely priceless!!!! have a star!!id give u more if i culd!!

ha ha

yr good one
love farty jokes and a star for all that effort

ROFL!!!!! That is the BEST joke I have seen on here in MONTHS!!!

Brill i wasn't expecting the end made me laugh

lol i heard this joke b4 but it's sooo funny lov it !!!!!

omg...i wud have died of embresment..lmfao..hahahahaha

tee hee!!

thats so so funny!!!

lol
ha ah

;-)

old, but still funny

oh my goodness that is hilarious!!!! I can't wait to share it with others!

Cheers

Heard this a few times,,, but it still gets me tee hee,,,

Absououtly brilliant!!!!

hahahahahahahaha!! very funny!!!!!

think i would run and hide.lmao. hope there wasn't beans for tea at the party.hahaha!

heheeh very funny LOL
deserves a star

Ha Ha, love the joke.

ha ha

rofl lmfao......!!!!!!!!!!!!!! o my God That was by far the funniest joke ive ever heard!!! Good job, huN!! have a star!! id give u more if i could!! Did you make that joke up yourself, cause if you did u are GENIUS!!!!!!