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Review my essay due the first (i go to an online school)?


hi i'm a 13 year old and i go to an online school

i have a personal narrative due jan1st and i would like someone other than my mother (who says everything i do is great) to read it and help me reword or fix spelling and stuff like that thank you!!!

鈥?YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!鈥? I shouted running around the house making the dogs worry and bark at my unnatural morning enthusiasm. Why was I doing this you might ask, because I was just told by my mother my dream of learning how to drive the car would come true that very day.
After running a few errands and going to a movie we set out with mom driving into the desert, out into the middle of nowhere where she could be sure the only things I could possibly crash into were sagebrush and one lone telephone pole. We pulled to the side of the road and she set the emergency brake and said 鈥渢his is it sweetheart, your first driving lesson is about to begin鈥? then she hopped out of the car and I did the same walking around the back and sliding in the drivers seat of our 1993 tracker. I put my hands on the steering wheel and closed my eyes.
I remembered that time when I was six and I had some crazy idea that it would be helpful to go and warm the car up one morning before mom drove me to school. I mean I had seen her do it a thousand times, but I went one step too far and put the car in gear without the brake being on making the Jeep slowly back out of our sloped drive way and into the middle of the road stopping two cars and almost causing a wreck.
I gulped and looked over at my slightly pale mother, I figured she was remembering the same incident. 鈥淥k鈥?she said a little worry in her voice 鈥渘ow that鈥檚 the clutch the and that鈥檚 the brake鈥?she pointed to two black peddles on the floor. 鈥渁nd THAT is the gas鈥?she pointed to the third. 鈥渙k so what you want to do鈥?she instructed 鈥渋s take off the emergency brake, push the clutch all the way to the floor and put it into first gear鈥?I did what I was told only I pushed the brake instead of the clutch and the car died. 鈥渨hat did I do wrong!?鈥?I exclaimed with my foot still on the brake 鈥渨ell鈥ou took off the emergency brake and instead of pressing the clutch you killed the car by breaking鈥?she giggled I gave her a dirty look, she explained again, and after a few more times I was able to drive straight very well.
We came to the end of the road and it was time to make a U-turn. My first mistake was not turning the wheel far enough and finding my self taking up the whole road so mom put it into reverse and I backed out and tried again but once again I didn鈥檛 turn enough and the car almost ran into the one lone telephone pole, but I braked just in time to avoid it . I backed up again and I missed the turn, so I tried again and again and again apparently the 6th time was the charm and I managed to turn without hitting anything, running off the road or killing the engine.
I drove straight until we found a little muddy road in fact I wouldn鈥檛 even call it a road it was more like a tire track stained, no vegetation, pothole filled four-wheeler path, but our car is small and hefty and mom thought I needed some off road training so we turned on to the little path and boy was that a turn. I had to dodge three muddy, icy, deep potholes!
Inching along at less than a mile per hour avoiding dips and puddles we finally came to the end of the tire track stained, no vegetation, pothole filled four-wheeler path/muddy old road and once again I had to make a U-turn this time without hitting the sagebrush on either side of the road, falling into a hole or crashing into the few discarded tires that littered the path. You think I would have learned from the last U-turn that not turning the wheel enough would not turn the car enough, but no! I just had to stop short and run over a small sage bush, slam on the brakes and almost send mom flying through the windshield (thank god for seat belts). So I backed up and in doing so ran over one of those tires I was talking about. Mom started laughing and clapping at my lack of car sense. I closed my eyes and banged on the horn in frustration thinking that some how the sound/action would magically pick the car up and turn it around or at least remove all of the obstacles that were mercilessly plaguing me, but no, sadly that鈥檚 not how the world works and I was still in the same spot with all the same problems and no patience or answers to help me solve them. 鈥淕et out鈥?I mumbled 鈥測ou鈥檙e finishing the turn for me please鈥?I got out of the car and got back in the passengers side. Mom effortlessly made the turn and asked if I wanted to drive again adding that it was straight from here on out so we switched seats and I drove use all the way back to the main road without much difficulty. I will never forget my first diving lesson and hopefully if I ever learn how to turn I wont forget that either.

Don't lose hope, I will have your your corrections to you soon!! :)

Okay, it might be a little while cause I am busy for a min, but I will get it to you!


OK! I am going to give this a try for you. I think it will help you.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah", I shouted, running around the house making the dogs worry, and bark at my unnatural morning enthusiasm. Why was I doing this you might ask, because I was just told by my mother my dream of learning how to drive the car would come true that very day.
After running a few errands and going to a movie I set out with mom driving into the dessert, out into the middle of nowhere, where she could be sure the only things I could possibly crash into were sagebrush and one lone telephone pole. We pulled to the side of the road and she set the emergency brake and said 鈥渢his is it sweetheart, your first driving lesson is about to begin鈥? then she hopped out of the car, and I did the same, walking around the back, and sliding in the drivers seat of our 1993 tracker. I put my hands on the steering wheel and closed my eyes.
I remembered the time when I was six, and I had some crazy idea that it would be helpful to go and warm the car up one morning before mom drove me to school. I mean, I had seen her do it a thousand times, but I went one step too far and put the car in gear without the brake being on, making the Jeep slowly back out of our sloped driveway, and into the middle of the road, stopping two cars, and almost causing a wreck.
I gulped and looked over at my slightly pale mother, I figured she was remembering the same incident. 鈥淥k", she said, pointing to the two black peddles on the floor. With a little worry in her voice 鈥渘ow that鈥檚 the clutch, and that鈥檚 the brake鈥? Then she pointed to the third peddle, 鈥淭hat is the gas鈥? 鈥淥k, so what you want to do,鈥?she instructed, 鈥渋s take off the emergency brake, push the clutch all the way to the floor, and put it into first gear鈥? I did what I was told, only I pushed the brake instead of the clutch, and the car died. 鈥淲hat did I do wrong鈥?I exclaimed, with my foot still on the brake! 鈥淲ell, you took off the emergency brake, and instead of pressing the clutch, you killed the car by breaking鈥?she giggled. I gave her a dirty look while she explained again, and after a few more times I was able to drive straight very well.
We came to the end of the road, and it was time to make a U-turn. My first mistake was not turning the wheel far enough, and finding myself taking up the whole road. So mom put it into reverse, and I backed out, and tried again. Once again I didn鈥檛 turn enough, and the car almost ran into the one lone telephone pole, but I braked just in time to avoid it . I backed up again, and I missed the turn. So I tried again and again and again, apparently the 6th time was a charm, and I managed to turn without hitting anything, running off the road, or killing the engine.
I drove straight until we found a little muddy road, in fact I wouldn鈥檛 even call it a road, it was more like a tire track stained, no vegetation, pothole filled, four-wheeler path. Our car is small and hefty and mom thought I needed some off road training, so we turned on to the little path, and boy was that a turn. I had to dodge three muddy, icy, deep potholes!
Inching along at less than a mile per hour avoiding dips and puddles. We finally came to the end of the tire track stained, no vegetation, pothole filled, four-wheeler path, muddy old road. Once again I had to make a U-turn, this time without hitting the sagebrush on either side of the road, falling into a hole, or crashing into the few discarded tires that littered the path. You think I would have learned from the last U-turn that not turning the wheel enough would not turn the car enough, but no! I just had to stop short, and run over a small sage bush, slam on the brakes, and almost send mom flying through the windshield (thank god for seat belts). So I backed up, and in doing so, ran over one of those tires I was talking about. Mom started laughing and clapping at my lack of car sense. I closed my eyes and banged on the horn in frustration thinking that some how the sound/action would magically pick the car up, and turn it around, or at least remove all of the obstacles that were mercilessly plaguing me, but no, sadly, that鈥檚 not how the world works, and I was still in the same spot with all the same problems, and no patience or answers to help me solve them. 鈥淕et out鈥? I mumbled, 鈥測ou鈥檙e finishing the turn for me please鈥? I got out of the car and got back in the passengers side. Mom effortlessly made the turn, and asked if I wanted to drive again, adding that it was straight from here on out. So we switched seats, and I drove all the way back to the main road without much difficulty. I will never forget my first diving lesson, and hopefully, if I ever learn how to turn, I wont forget that either.

I hope that is better for you honey. I hope you make a good grade on it. It sounds really good. Did you make it up?

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