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Can someone check my thesis ? have to rewrite sentence into a thesis statement?


Sentences
1 Applying for a job can be a negative experience.
2. Skiing is alot of fun,but can be expensive and too dangerous.
3. There are many advantages and disadvantages to the county's new voting machines.
4. The deregulation of the telephone system has been one big headache.
5 In this paper i will debate the pros and cons of the controversial motorcycle helmet law.

My answers
1. Your apperance when applying for a job can impact weather you get hired.
2.The price of gear and the risk of being injuried puts a damper on skiing.
3. In Arizona new voting machines led to shorter lines despite the new law on identification.
4. The deregulation of telephone system has resulted in consumers seeing an increase in annoying telemarketing calls.
5. The purpose of motorcycle helmet laws are to protect the rider, however some riders don't care for the intrusion of the law.

the sentences have to be rewritten into a thesis statement

I'm sorry, I don't quite understand what you want checking? If you explain further I will try to extend my answer...

They look pretty good to me so I've just altered the spelling and wording...

1. Your appearance when applying for a job can have an impact on whether you are hired or not.
2.The price of equipment and the risk of injury puts a dampener on the prospect of skiing.
3. In Arizona new voting machines led to shorter lines despite the new law on identification.
4. The deregulation of telephone system has resulted in consumers seeing an increase in annoying telemarketing calls.
5. The purpose of motorcycle helmet laws are to protect the rider, however some riders see the law as an inconvenience

Sorry if that is totally useless and not what you wanted! Good luck wit it!

1. The negative experience of applying for a job.
2. The dangers and expense of skiing: is it worth t?
3. New voting machines: advantages and disadvantages.
4. The problems caused by the deregulation of the telephone system.
5. The controversies of the motorcycle helmet law.

Hope this helps!

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