Should I continue with the relationship?

I had an affair with a classmate when I was in Class XII and it continued for 1 1/2 yrs and then I called it off because my parents were very conservative. I had got married soon after that to another man of my parents' choice. Now after 17 yrs of marriage suddenly I found the earlier chap's telephone no. and contacted him. He stays in another city and is well settled in life with a family of his own. But now I find that the earlier fire is still burning within both our hearts. He would be coming to my city very shortly and we both want to meet each other. So what do I do? Do I maintain a friendly relationship with him. None of us have informed anyone else about our newly revived relation. We want to keep this a secret. Would it be ok? Pl. we want to meet each other even if just for once. Serious answers only please.

dear sweetheart

it has been 17 yrs and u still miss each other do u really think why ... because when last time u two parted it was sudden and forcibly still while u had feelings for each other and lot of things to discuss ... never bother abt moral police and wat ppl would say ...

its like u soul cant find peace any time in ur life until u ppl talk those feelings and share the mutual pain .. since law of universe states that any thing which is sent out has to come back to u ...

u need to resolve many issue pertaining to ur personal matter that no one else in whole world understand ... ur not cheating in faintest chance since ur not going to have any physical relationship now ... all that u would share would be memories, happiness,pain and delight ... over all these yrs u dont have any private life and a person to share it with ... so u longing for it ...

no matter wat others say ... i would strongly recommend to meet him and talk ... do say constant meeting wont be possible but internet would always be there right ... loosen ur soul of its burden ...

all the best

its my pleasure madam .... Report It

to save any arguements between u and ur hubby...
tell ur husband all bout it ..well not ALL abou it but say u want to meet an old frend hu u havnt seen in 17 yrs jus to catch up

Keeping secrets, especially secrets that could hurt your marriage is wrong! Can you imagine the hurt and pain you would feel if your spouse did that for you, and you can't tell me that you would be ok with it, because it's not ok. You're married, you made that decision 17 years ago. So forget about this old love and move on, unless you want to break your family apart on something that may or may not be.

Good luck!

If you ask my honest suggestion, just be friends and nothing else. 17 years of married life is too precious to break over a relationship that was just what most college/school kids face. Its not worth the effort. Rest is up to you. If you are not happy in ur marraige, speak up with ur husband otherwise just dont think of anything except friendship with thay guy.

If you don't want to tell anybody about it, then you probably shouldn't do it.

Cheating is not a secret. You have to weigh all the consequences. Is seeing this chap one more time worth the 17 yrs you had with your present chap? If not, you need to tell him. Then move on to your old chap.

u both should not meet each other now.. pls do think about ur spouses and ur children... ur one decision can affect so many lives and moreover just think ur spouse is doing the same thing(meeting another women)without telling you... according to me this is not the right decision...

you need to get a grip on yur emotions lady...
i suggest u maintain contact wid him but it shud b strictly friendship...
c u are married n hv kids...so u shud b mature enough to think tht hvin sexual relationships can fatally damage yur reputation n yur relationship with yur hubby !
loads luv n luc take care..

There may be a feeling of guilt here, since both of you are married. Personally I would suggest not to meet. In the event that you do, keep it at a friendship level, it has been overall 17yrs. Good luck

No you shouldn't, if you're serious about your marriage. If you see your ex, you'll just feel tempted to continue some form of relationship with him, & it's not fair to your marriage to have a relationship (even if it is a friendship) with someone else you have feelings for. You have been fine without your ex for 17 years, so obviously you'll continue to be fine if you don't see him. Even if your husband or his wife doesn't find out, it'll hurt all 4 parties involved if you two have some sort of relationship or continue to harbour feelings for each other.

Instead, why don't you get rid of your ex's phone number & spend some quality time with your husband, doing something you both enjoy & enjoying each other's company? That'll remind you how important your husband & your marriage is to you, & it'll decrease your desire to see your ex.

What do you think?

Being friends it麓s ok, and you know it, but risking each others marriages is not, and you know it too. Why are you going to hurt your husband麓s heart or his wife麓s...Would you risk your children麓s world...or his... I don麓t think is right. After 17 yrs isn麓t sure things are the same as they were. Maybe you麓re trying to fulfill an old dream in spite of some others present reality...I think in how many are going to be hurt and heartbroken,,,I don麓t know if you麓re thinking the same!...

You wrote, "Would it be ok? Pl. we want to meet each other even if just for once. Serious answers only please".

First evaluate your present situation, if you are happy with your husband and children then why risk 17 years of trust, you should not have contacted him.

Meeting with each other will be cheating, on the part of both of you. Keep a secret so far was a only a white lie on the part of both of you but I would have done the same and many other people would have done the same, to make a go of you commitement to your marriage it was definately correct, proper thing to do.

You may have curiosity so let it be, do nothing, do not meet him tell him, "it was a mistake on your part and both of should continue with our present commitment and life with our present family"

Do not make this mistake. It can be very unpleasant, and awkward for both, it may stir up some thing that will break many hearts. If both of you have children(or even one of you have a child) then you need to think it over twice and many times.

If both of you are extremely unhappy in the present situation and do not have to worry about children then it is a different story.

Get a divorce and then see what happens.

But it is never easy, emotions and alimony,----,---, can put a damper on the things and make both of you bitter and incompatible after only a short time or union. If you must just be pen friends but do not meet. This way you can satisfy your curiosity.

you shouldnt do it....but tell your husband about it if you are going to do it ... you know...i mean he probably has a happy family of his own and so do you...so you dont want to ruin anything

Marriage is a pious relationship whicj is based on trust and respect to each other.I think u should just forget about old relationship with the help of Pranayaam.

meet him but no bad intention

for ur happiness, dont cheat ur husband who loves u , dont bring life to a relation which has ended a long tym back, i knw its difficult to forget ur past love but its not impossible, deeply think over dis issue

... You shouldn鈥檛 have given in and married somebody of your parents choice. Conservative family or not, you could have made your own choice, but you have chosen the easiest way and not your personal freedom and happiness.
Now it鈥檚 a little late to regret, don鈥檛 you think.
Anyway, if I were you and in such a situation I would keep my mouth closed and not tell anything to anyone.
What do you think would happen?
Your husband would suddenly know, that there is somebody you have always loved and never forgotten and he would try to watch every move you make... fiends are often not as reliable as we think, as they do love to gossip...
If you don鈥檛 go, you will regret it, as you are thinking permanently of him and still love him.
You will start to think what would have happened. If... and this will bring bitterness into your life.
I would go and see him. Maybe now he is not the man you remember, as all of us change trough the years.
Maybe you will feel more than just friendship, so this might lead to a dangerous situation, as he also might feel more than that for you.
So you will be the one to decide how to go on.
In the case you want to have a love affair with him, be careful.
Don鈥檛 tell anybody and do not change any of your habits.
Nobody can give you a correct answer to that, as love is blind.
Just be careful and discreet and that鈥檚 it.
Maybe you will have to take a decision in the future, as you are obviously not married with somebody you love.
The best thing would be to avoid these situations and not agree to arranged marriages, so people could find their personal happiness.
If you didn鈥檛 find happiness in your married life, why shouldn鈥檛 you find happiness outside of it?
Nobody should sit as a judge over others people鈥檚 life and happiness鈥?because what for? What does unhappiness is good for? Nothing!
All the best, I hope you find what you are looking for.

You guys are not doing a great job at deciphering her question here if you notice she specifically states that "I had got married soon after that to another man of my parents' choice. " It does not sound to me as if she's happily married...if that is the case lady all you can do is assess your relationship for what it is worth and make the best decision. In the event that you are content in your currrent relationship then it is not worth it.

i think you're making a huge mistake
its best to avoid him & pay more attention on your husband instead of your ex

u mean after almost 18 years of ur relation ship u wanna get back maam its d age of ur children faaling in luv nt u
bt u r situation does make coffeee cm out of my nose
n if u meet him i would b so damn interested 2 koe wat happened

be careful he doesn't ditch u for the wife he already has.no man is goin to give up his life 4 some1 who he is meetin afeter 17 yrs and is not even sure bout wat shewanna does

Dear whatever happened has happened.
Now your married FOR 17 YEARS. This is a long time. This relationship can effect all of your other relations. Better stay away from him

you, first up all keep yor farents talks ,afterthan you onlyl faceing for an any other fields or deals in your life that time you will make of your intersts ways.

Ask yourself, why do you feel the urge to meet him when you can talk to him by phone.