Are you a highly INTUITVE or INSIGHTFUL person ?

If so I need your advice. A year ago I met
this woman online. We became good friends, and even considered what we had
to be a serious relationship. Although we
were at a distance, things went well for the
most part. Fast forward. In the midst of it
all, and after hundreds on conversations
via telephone. She met someone new.
A guy who she only known for 3 weeks.
And she said she wanted to be with him
forever. ?? I admit she does have
this anxiety issue, after her traumatic ordeal
as a child, and a teenager. AND when she
got off of her medication, she went to the
extreme. Right now she is in a deep depression. And it took its toll on our
relationship. Big time. So we broke it off
yesterday. Words were exchanged. But
it just went downhill from there. Do you think
that one day, we will be able to talk to one
another again, and meet up ? She lives
out west, and me on the east coast. Answer
here.

I'm sorry to hear that. If I didn't know better, I'd think that you were talking about me. Depression/PTSD especially from childhood, makes a person, such as myself, emotionally stunted. I am an emotional 8 year old, although I'm 44. We seek security, someone to feed into our neediness, and we never, ever get too close to another human being without lots of therapy. I hope that one day the two of you can talk again, for closure, but this isn't the woman for you. I personally will not date right now because I know all this about myself, and my internal means of attracting and selecting someone are off kilter, and I can't make a healthy choice yet. Maybe she's in the same way but is more afraid of being alone and vulnerable than she is of choosing poorly. I'd bet money on one more thing: This new relationship of hers may go on a couple maybe three years, but either he'll leave because of her neediness and insecurity, or he's a carbon copy of her abuser(s) and she'll have to get out because he'll be hurting her. The best thing for both of you, at least right now, is to let her go but send her an email or a card, that says you're sorry for the words exchanged, you care about her and you want her to be happy, so give her your blessings and then move on. She's got to get well on her own timeline, like an addict, you can't help them until they're ready to accept it.

I think you should be thankful you survived a relationship with such an unstable and probably mentally ill person.

It is highly unlikely that you'll ever meet, but don't grieve too much about that.

Next time, try to find a relationship that you can actually have in person -- it's healthier all the way around.

Since you didn't wait for our answer about being highly intuitive or insightful, I guess it doesn't matter.

There was never anything between you two. What started was only an glass of cold water to sooth the acidity of solitude. As they say, out of sight, out of heart. The first one who filled her eyes, she went for him. Have a grip at yourself now and let your eyes indulge first before you decide anything in your heart.

Well do you let it go and see if it comes back or do you fight for it? Do you have the fight in you? Is that other person more aggressive than you? Can things go dry from not going to see her etc?


So many questions and only one right answer. But I fear you must pick it.

I would have never waited that long first off and second if it was about to break i would go to an extreme measure like flying out to her.

AMEN!

Well she sounds bipolar or something like that... So she will fall in and out of love like changing socks.. Stay away.. It seems people like that don't know how to handle emotions and seem to go with what feels the best at the time.. And always have lots of remorse in the long run.. Its better if you meet somone live and then you can see and hear them and see their reactions so you know how stable they are. And if they can handle a realationship.. good luck.

No, go on your own way and don't look back... There are more stable women out there... You really want someone without mental issues or your life with become consistently unstable... Meet someone in your own area...

I have to say that many people on the left coast are way out there in mind sets.. This area is full of rebellion and people that are swayed by every wind of doctrine that flies by.. Especially California...

Find a real person, not an online relationship.

No, I say let her go. She sounds like her anxiety will always keep her from actually meeting someone. Can you really handle dealing with all her emotional/mental problems? It can be very challenging (personal experience). Think about that, and how strong you think you can be to deal with it. You can truly never know everything that will come up.
I say find someone closer to where you live, even if you first talk online, you'd have a better chance to meet them in person. Also try to find someone who does not have such emotional problems. I'm not being mean. Like I said I've got personal experience with this. I've got my own issues which are not as severe as your friend, and my family has similar issues. One of my close friends was just diagnosed as bi-polar. And my neighbor, who is the mom of my daughter's best friend has bi-polar, anxiety, and OCD issues. So I know what I'm talking about, when I say think about what you can really handle, and find someone who is more emotionally stable.

I had an online relationship, which she broke off for...complicated reasons. I thought that I had heard the last from her. Well, it's a very long story, but it was several months later that I heard from her again. We're friends now, which is not a terrible way to end up.

However, my situation is not yours. I would, if it were me, be worried about her, given her mental state. Sometimes people act out in odd ways because of emotions or events they can't deal with. You know far better than we do how worried you should be, and how much she hurt you. I guess my point is, there are always reasons behind the things people do. Be sure you know what those reasons are.

When we date, my friend, we show our best. A real relationship makes real demands, which can not possibly tested over the net or on the phone. The net and phone are not a reliable way to have courtship.

I met a girl over the phone we got along fabulously. I moved a thousand miles to be with her, but we had problems from the start. We could always talk, and enjoy one another, but day to day living was very difficult. We split up.

We've started to date again, but are taking it one step at a time this time. It might work out, I hope so. The difference is the it is face to face, and that is the way to build a relationship, and not just toying with an infatuation.