One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed delightedly: 'Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.'
He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went
to answer the call.
The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.
Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage.
Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes.
The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.
My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: 'Happy Birthday!' i never laughed so hard in my life!!!!!!!! Oh My God! That has just become my favourite joke! Loved it!! If I could, I'd give YOU the ten points! lmfao!!! good one! lol lol lol LMAOOOOOOOO
ROTFLMAO
that is so funny omg you poor thing
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lol funny though
well here is mine
i have rotc and school was out so a bunch of us cadets went to the restrrom to change and these to guys go in first cause im a girl and i couldnt do that cause its not right, and i had to hurry up to go to band practice, well the guys were taking long on purpose because one of them i had chewed out cause he was pissing me off cause im his platoon leader and he is one of my cadets, well these other two girls were there and i needed to change my shirt really quick and i asked them to keep a look out, and this is all happeneing in a like closed at one end hallway and at the closed part is the restroom, well i took off my shirt and was getting ready to put the other one on and the boys came out all i could do is scream. i tried to cover up but i couldnt because im a d 40 to dd and it was horrible, and omg i was so embarrassed they were laughing and looking at me in disbelief and they left like not 30 seconds later a bunch of guys came to where i was in the hallway just looking at me and smileing, it was horrible so now more than half the battalion of cadets close to 300 know about the incident embarrassing and they wont let me forget it either
this happened tuesday march 25, 2008
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lol at least we can laugh about it
hope you have a great day! |
