I am unsatisfied watever i get? sad and negative?have suicidal tendancy?dont feel good abt myself?pls help?

I am 25 yrs old male...Wen i was 17 yr old in 12th grade my father got brain attack (mad) and all responsibility on me of my parents ,grandmother,Two younger sister in total 6 people..
.I suddenly got matured and feel burdened..I took the help of spirituality at the time of spirituality i got great inner strength and heard inner voice after meditation that i am the strongest person of the world ...those time i had strange experiences & amazing energy level...after that I became very ambitious & started beliving i am very strong and compare myself with the best of the world become pure and peaceful ,.after two years i indulge in wordly things and lost those strength to some extent ...I got many defeats since than i lost the girl i loved ,I did a fraud in my office and got fired,all my relatives knows that ,I tried share market lost money ,usually because of negative thinking,always worried abt something & god ..still believe i m here for great things & restless .am i mad ?pls help

Well, you are certainly dealing with inner conflicts which are depriving you of the ability to function in a socially acceptable manner.

You stepped up when your family needed you. For that, you should take great solace and self satisfaction.

However, your actions during that experience shouldn't have made you believe that you were endowed with any super powers. You just responded in an accepted and exemplary fashion. No more. No less.

Now, it sounds like the family has recovered to the point that you don't need to suppress your own dreams and continually sacrifice for the good of the family as a whole, without regard to your personal well being.

Take time now to focus on yourself and use that same tenacity that you displayed when you helped your family. Apply that same discipline and determination to resolve your personal situation.

It's time for you to apply all of your energy to helping yourself. After you have achieved peace and tranquility within yourself, you can then reach out again and empathize and support others who may need you.