Should I be with my one true love... if we're both married to someone else?

Almost two years ago, I began an affair with a work colleague from another city. We had always admired and respected each other, and it happened very naturally, and continued at a distance. Over time, we became best friends, and finally confessed our deep love for each other. Not long ago, she took a new job in my city (my office even), in part to be near me. I am now planning to leave my wife because I can no longer pretend I love her, and it is deeply unfair to continue to cheat on the woman I married. There's only one problem. The love of my life is bringing her husband and children with her, and she has no intention of divorcing for fear of damaging her kids. She is not in love with her husband anymore, but the fact she won't leave him is tearing me apart. Many of you will tell me I'm getting what I deserve, but you are idiots who I will ignore. Same goes for anyone who references Jesus in their answer. Any intelligent person with insight to share, however, is welcome!

Sounds like you have rejected some advice that you know you have coming to you but here goes: you are cheating on two people. The woman you married and the woman you're screwing outside your marriage. Your paramour knows that she has it good - you treat her better than you treat your own wife and better than her husband treats her. So she'll hang in there. Don't worry about her leaving her husband - he gives her stability and she wants him as 'plan B' just in case you tire of her. In the meantime, moving closer to you is a convenience for her. People admire and respect colleagues all the time and don't end up 'doing the dirty' with them. She's getting sex from two different guys - why in the world would she ever want to leave her marriage for just one? There's your insight, and it's coming from an intelligent person. I'd say 'take it or leave it' but I'm pretty sure you're going to leave it since the answer you're looking for is: 1) you're the only man for her (NOT) and 2) she's a saint and a wonderful wife and mother to keep up this duplicitous lifestyle (NOT). I know it hurts to see that but it is nonetheless true. Be the romantic son of a gun you always are to her and she will go home to bicker with her loving husband and argue with her loving kids and she'll be much, much less stressed. What a lucky lady. You're the unlucky one.

While I think we all would agree that the way you began your relationship was wrong, you certainly aren't the first, (and you won't be the last). I don't however, believe it's "true love".

I'm glad that you realize how incredibly unfair you've been to your wife. If you were so unhappy in your marriage, you should have divorced her years ago, rather than carry on an affair for two years.

It doesn't sound like the "love of your life" feels the same way about you, her actions speak louder than words. The argument that she doesn't want to "damage her kids" isn't realistic or honest. Children are smart, they know what's going on. She's being selfish and she isn't doing them any favors, kids would rather come from a broken home than live in one. As far as her not "loving her husband anymore", how would you know? She could be telling you anything.

You don't have to listen to me. All you have to do is look at the statistics, they aren't in your favor. How can a relationship that begins with lying and cheating turn into a successful one that is built on love and respect?

I'm sorry that you're so "torn apart", but think about how your wife is going to feel. I'm not going to tell you you're "getting what you deserve" but you have to know when you begin an affair the chances of it turning into something "good" are very slim.

As for God, this is between you and Him. He's really the only one you're going to have to answer to.

Think about it first, the women sounds as if she wants to stay
married to her husband & just have an affair with you on the
side.Can you live with that knowledge & risk your marriage,
& probably end up alone & miserable. If she wanted to be with you, she would have divorced her husband to be with you. She's in it, for the thrill. Try to mend your marriage if
possiable. Years from now, you'll look back & be glad you did.