I am stuck in a loveless relationship and need to get out.?

Me and my partner have been together for 13 years and we have 2 children. Other than the children we have no relationship to speak of. We have a morgage together and she says if I leave she won't sell the house which is fair enough but there is no way I can afford to rent a flat and pay half the morgage and the child support. I have been to the benefits office and they say I would not be entitled to anything if I split up with her as I earn to much money.

I come out with around 拢1200 per month. My morgage is 拢300 (my share of 拢600) and a cheep flat or house to rent is 拢475 per month. I beleive I would have to pay at least 20% of my wages for child support thats 拢240 totaling around 拢1000 per month. Leaving 拢200 a month for council tax, electric, gas, etc. and somewhere Ive got to get food out of it aswell.

Does anybody have any answers on what my options are. I know I could stay put but im cracking up.

Thanks
Matt.

...at least you accept responsibilities, other guys would just leave! Try, having her buy out your share in the mortgage, then leave town, and start anew, in a new country or location.
...enjoy!

could you try to get a house share ,would cut down on your rent & bills.
sorry I have no better advice.

make an appointment with the solicitor to know your rights etc. you are allowed to have enough money to live off yourself.

To some degree you are right, You would pay half the mortgage and pay child support but thats it! So 拢300 plus about 拢240 is 拢540. Your partner is the one who would get support from the benefits ppl not you. That would help to pay her bills etc. She would also have to get a job.

The bills would be hers to pay and she would not pay coucil tax as she is a single parent.
Also im not sure but i dont think your partner can refuse to sell the house, you could sell it and buy somewhere smaller, then the mortgage wouldnt be so big.

There are solicitors who offer 30 minutes free, so make a list of questions and go and see one. Atleast you will find out exactly where you stand.

Hope that helps.

well being unhappyis not good for the both of you or the kids,,have a real heart to heart to try to come up with maybe a temp split up, you neverknow you may rekindle your love,,if that dosn't work as long as you have your kids half the time,or more your support wont be much if any at all.I know for from first hand...but make sure youv'e tryed councling and all other options before you guys throw it away...Good Luck

You best option for all involved is to deal with the problems that exist in your marriage.

This will require you to be honest with yourself.

Good luck.

Im no expert but i dont think that you would have to keep paying half the morgage ,she would have to either sell,or take over the other half,go back to the citizens advice ,and talk to someone else,if you split up she cant expect you to pay for her home,you may need to go to court.

Get a 2nd job like alot of people.Many people are only on 拢700 per month on a full time hours and they do it!Rent a room,not a house get a 2nd job.

talk to your partner and come to a mid way conclusion , so tht you are able to live your life free and easy and you are able to afford yourself also...

the only advice l could give you would be to go and speak to someone in your local Citizens Advice Bureau,its all confindential and they should be able to give you a better idea of what your options are and how to resolve your dilema of affordable accommodation.

You cannot afford that and she should understand, I know it's terrible in this dilemma. I don't have much advice but want to encourage you in someway

im sorry you feel like this.If ur in a loveless marriage you need to get out if,not for yourself then do it for your children.They will be aware that something is wrong.It will be tight at first but surely your happiness and your childrens happiness is the main factor.Have you spoken to ur wife about this?Does she feel the same?Maybe you could come to an agreement about money if you did split.

This is when you get a second job like so many men and women do these days ............. They are your kids...and so if you want more then $200 for yourself each month...you need to find second job.

Hi Matt,
if you are sure that there is no going back in your marriage then I think you have no option but to split up. I understand what you're saying about being in an impossible financial situation but you only have one life & if you & your wife stay together then everyone will be unhappy & that is not good for your kids. I was brought up in a house where my parents stayed together because of financial reasons (aswell as 'for the children'), but in the long run it does no one any favours & I know it seems awful at the moment but things will straighten themselves out. Is there anyone else involved? because if that is the reason why you are leaving then I'd think long & hard about it because the grass isn't always greener!
Anyway, I'm jumping ahead! have you spoken with your wife about your feelings? If she agrees to a separation, (best if it is amicable), then maybe she has some answers. You sound like a nice man because most of my friends who have separated from their husbands don't get anything! So What I'm trying to get at is you do only have one life & you should live it to the full & embrace each day not live amid misery...its not fair on your wife either when you could be with partners that make you happy. The kids will adapt, they're a lot stronger than you think! try going to ctizens advice to see if they have any good advice, its a miserable situation for everyone but only you can change it. Maybe when you have time away from your partner it may change both of your feelings. Sorry if i've gone on & I probably haven't given that much advice but you sound so sad I felt that I had to say something. Take Care.

what about family?

Hi Matt,do you have any family you could share with?If not what about a house share like students do.This is very difficult but my only other advice would be to seek legal advice about separation & financial help.Good luck,I really do feel for you.