How to motivate husband to help with chores?

My husband & I have been married for almost two years. We both work full time and have no kids yet. I feel that he doesn't do his share of the household chores. His main chores are doing the dishes and taking out the trash, and mine are the laundry and managing finances. We both do other chores of course too. His problem is that he can't seem to finish chores...he'll start the dishes but only do half of them, and he'll take out the trash, but never replaces the garbage bags in the cans in the kitchen, bathroom, office, etc. I've told him a million times how I feel (politely, being careful not to just be a nag) and he listens, and I know he loves me and wants to do better, and even says he will...but then I get home day after day and there the dishes sit in the sink, etc. I don't know what to do and would really like some suggestions. I'm not manipulative and would never withhold sexual things or anything like that. I'm at a loss for what to do.

Sit him down and communicate how important it is to you that he do these things. simply tell him you cant live in a dirty house, and he needs to respect that and do his part and pull his weight. you cant do it all. if he loves and respects you he will make the effort. if hes forgetful as most typical men are when it comes to housework, make him a " honey do" list when need be. also remember to compromise, if he would prefer laundry over dishes than consider making a switch. just remember to communicate without arguing. good luck!

wear a thong when doing the chores.

Good luck getting any man to help!

Just Start going out Doing things by yourself , When he gets pissed ,say "hey this is grown up stuff ,you didn't do your chores you dont get to go play"

put a lock on the pun tang, no worky no playey

hmmm....kinky things that increase with chore difficulty...kissing, groping, oral...and yes, finally, the big one... O YEAH!

Be so sweet and supportive of him that he can't help but repay you with a simple thing like putting the trash bag back in.

Next time you have sex with him just finish half the job.

Stop doing them and see if he starts

Do your job halfway - stop washing his socks and underwear. Then discuss the problem with him.

I wouldn't withhold sexual matters, but offer them!

start withholding sex. that should work wonders

I had trouble with that replacing the trashbag thing too. So my wife put about 6-8 new bags in the bottom of the trash bin so they are right there and I can't say I forgot.

She taught me to put reeeaaally hot, soapy water in the sink BEFORE I start my mess. Then i put dishes in there to soak until I'm able to put my hand in there. Then they are really easy to wash.

Us guys, especially those of us that had SISTERS, didn't grow up knowing all that stuff. So help him with some of your tricks you learned, or switch chores until you find something he CAN do.

time to get out the paddle

no really talk to him about it, and pint it out when its not done, you two might ave a different definition of done

Men are lazy creatures. Thats just the way it is. Good luck

Offer a reward for doing things the right way. I'm sure you can think of some sort of reward.

grow up and get over it. at least he does some stuff. sounds to me you're looking for a fight. you knew what he was like when you married him.

Hit him where it hurts.

No, not there.

Hire a cleaning lady and leave the bill out. Keep her coming once a week until he picks up on what he needs to do.

And 'reward him' when he does do what he's supposed to. Carrot and stick.

You know as well as i do that he should be doing these things anyway but men will be men
try rewarding him when he does actually do something (if they want to act like pets or children then treat them like it)
maybe an extra sexy treat or cook him a nice meal - i know you shouldnt have to but it might start pointing him in the right direction

Why don't you offer to trade with him?

I kept switching around my fiances chores until I found things that mattered to him and he was motivated to do. Mine does trash, vacuuming and folding clothes. Two of which can be done while watching the game. Very important detail.

What do you do when these things are finished? Tell him about it or do it yourself?

Me personally -- I would just go on with life like the things were done.....no trash bag.....no problem - just chuck it in there without one. Gonna be a mess for him when he tries to empty it the next time. Dishes not done -- no problem - just pile them up there. Run out a bowl.....eat cereal out of coffee cup.....but do not touch/ mention those dishes.

After no meals because their are no dishes or having to clean out nasty trash cans he'll get the hint.

Just tell him that you feel overburdened with the workload at home and perhaps it would ease these feelings if the two of you hired someone to come in every other week or so, to clean up.

Mandy - Forgive me for being blunt, but in the grand scheme of things is it really that important or bothersome?

You can't change the way a person behaves, you can only change the way you react to it, and frankly, this is small potatoes.

only do half the laundry. ( your half of course)
he will catch on after he goes with out undies for a day or 2.

Don't tell him to do it. When my gf does that i purposely dont do things. It sounds like your just being bossy. How would you like it if he made demands from you? just be happy he is doing half the dishes at all.

Maybe you should ask him to pay for someone to help you with the house chores.

Wow, sounds like my fiance. It's like, is it really that hard to put the dishes in the dishwasher instead of the sink? My 7-year-old puts his dishes in the dishwasher when he is done. All my fiance does for chores is takes the trash out. He comes home later than me so I take the trash out of the can, throw it out on the stoop and that usually gets him to take the trash out. I'm curious about some suggestions too:)

Men are like that for some reason, my husbands only chore is to clean the bathrooms and he takes 10 breaks in between the cleaning,lol. I really don't think they will change, because I have been married for 4 years and he is still the same way.

Sigh...Honey, it's too late. I know it's not what you want to hear, but after 2 years, he's shown you who he is in the chore department. Think back to his old place before you were married. I bet there were dishes in his sink then, too. For your own sanity, you will have to let this go. Either deal with the half-done version of his or do his chores yourself. Otherwise you will keep banging your head into this particular wall until you kill yourself or your marriage.

You shouldn't give a "reward" to your husband for doing something he should be doing in the first place (like help with the chores).
I understand how you feel and was just thinking that while cleaning the entire house, alone, today. I tried to get my fiance to help since we moved in together 2 years ago and he does take out the trash, but then asks me to put in new liners, and if I ask he will sometimes empty out the dishwasher, but then leaves dishes out the next day. I decided if I want my house to be clean then I just have to do it myself. I know it doesn't sound fair, but if you want it done right- do it yourself or you'll live in a nasty house that needs cleaning.

Since you talk to your husband about it, the next day if dishes are sitting in the sink just tell him "I thought we were going to fix this problem- can you please help out by putting them in the dishwasher after you use them?".

Well you could slack on the laundry and see how his attitude towards household chores changes when he can't find any clean socks! Seriously though without being a little manipulative I don't think you'll get anywhere as you've tried talking to him and he doesn't seem to act on what you agree.

Here's my little tip: its not exactly manipulative but it DOES work! When my man is slacking or moaning about doing something i.e. Washing up, I'll come up behind him and give him a kiss and a cuddle whilst he's doing it and say thank you. It makes him happy and it gets the job done without stress!
Good Luck! xxx