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How can I tell someone politely...or should I just keep it to myself?


The person I share an office with loves to sing but she is completely tone deaf! Not only that but if we are listening to music she will start singing a totally different song! We get along very well, and I don't see that she's doing this to purposely irritate me but I am losing my mind! I'm willing to not have any music on in the office to avoid her singing with it or over it, but even w/o music she sings and she can never find the right key!
I don't want to hurt her feelings.
I actually like when people are comfortable about singing aloud so it's not just a pet peeve. I used to work with another woman many years ago who liked singing or huming quietly so normally this doesn't bother me.
Any suggestions?

I have a similar situation in my office but its in regards to non-stop chattering. I found that putting on my own music and headphones, EVERYone knows I'm working and when my co-worker peeks around her corner she usually says "oops my bad I'm being loud again." Sometimes the realization hits... sometimes not. Wishing you the best in resolving this sticky situation tactfully.

get an ipod and plug yourself in...it won't bother you if you can't hear it.

Ask her to tone it down,that you can't concentrate on your work.

Tell her it distracts you and also makes you want to sing along which would not benefit your work completion and quality. Or buy earplugs.

start singing off key, while in her presence, maybe she will take notice of how horrible you sound, and realize that she might sound similiar.

depends if the girl was or is still actually deaf like she cant hear then lay off a little but if she has the hearing of a dog say hey i just found something out the way i sing and the way u sing is not the way that... sings i was reading the notes and my ( daughter son husband etc) says it goes like this...

Try something along the lines of "Wow Sandra, your voice really carries over these cubicle walls. I hope that your singing doesn't interfere with someone's work." She will get the hint or she won't.

That's a tough one. I don't think there is any nice way of telling someone they are tone deaf. If I were you I would probably just deal with it or get ear plugs rather than cause an uncomfortable and unpleasant office relationship. I think that would be worse than the bad singing! ;)

have your neighbor/ best friend write an annonymous note telling the sick canary to knock if off or at least get some lessons and leave it in her cubicle when she is not around. You could also suggest that it is not the volume that is the problem and suggest humming thus saving her the embarrassed/hurt feelings about her not being able to sing well. Someone who is tone-deaf does not know they cannot sing well, hence the name.... tone-deaf.

Good Luck.

i agree with what the first person said.... any ipod/mp3 player to tune her out.

Ask her to take singing lessons with you?

Maybe give her a gift certificate to some place that gives singing lessons for the holidays?

If it effects your work, tell her to please stop.
if she continues. tell someone who can stop her

Ask genually if she had ever thought of taking singing lessons,
Something to the effect "Maybe you should learn Alto vs.Suprano and all the key notes: B, C, D, etc. get her interested, but with a teacher.
This way r ears will feel better & above all her feelings won't be hurt. Good Luck
diana d, alias Ann Landers

Find out what type of music she absolutely hates and bring in a bunch of CDs of that type of music and sing it nonstop. See if she either:
a) says nothing
b) asks you to stop and explains she can't take it
c) keeps playing and singing her own music
If she does:
a) well I think you better not say anything at all, it shows she's trying to have respect for your choice of music and behaviors, so you should do the same for her
b) explain to her you can't take HER music and singing and say you'll stop if she does
c) give up and keep quiet and learn to deal with it and keep on playing the stuff she hates too lol

You could just say something to her like, "I find it distracting when you sing in the office. It makes it harder for me to do my work. Would it be okay if you didn't sing when I'm around?"

Tell the manager to add another rule to the workplace.........no singing.

Get some headphones. If you can't hear her it won't bug you.

u should just get a ear phone and put it in your ears and listen to your own music and that way u don't have to listen to her singing and don't have to tell her off.

Let her know that she can't sing and maybe she'll stop. Do this by joking with her don't just blurt it out. Tell her she is messing up your song when she starts and that could start the conversation off right...be light-hearted about it too. Don't be mean. Humor is the best way to go.

Tell her the office staff is thinking of getting her singing lessons; if she insists on singing aloud, everyone would prefer that she sings in key. I used to sing while listening to a walkman at work. One day the therapist walked in laughing, telling me her whole group of patients could hear me when they went on break, and they were laughing because it sounded really bad! I started closing my office door and singing more quietly after that! Singing in the car is safe, and my cats still like my singing.

Tell her, you know it sounds the same when you sing to yourself. Just kidding that would be very rude and hurtful. Just tell her that her singing is very distracting to you. Good luck and God bless****

Be diplomatic to tell her honestly your opinion of her voice or invite her to do some Karaoke, so she could here her voice, or you can tape her singing and give it to her after. Tell her to listen it when she comes home.

i suggest that you try talking to her politely. maybe she has a good reason why she did it. probably, its her way of expressing herself and trying to ease herself from pressures and tensions within the workplace. i believe that she'll listen to you as long as you show interest in listening to her side. after all she's your office-mate and both of you can work harmoniously by discussing things positively. in that way, you'll trying to eliminate bad habits.

Have you tried asking her to lower her voice a little bit? Or to please keep it down?
I once had a co-worker who did this and once I had enough, I purposely joined in and sang completely off key and made an effort to sound even worse than him (it was hard, but I did it). He didn't sing much after that...If he kept doing it, I don't know, because I never heard him again. :) Good Luck.

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