How do you best drive desired behavior? (read on)?

I live with two men (to one of which I am married) and I feel as if I'm the only one who bothers to clean up, vacuum, dust, etc etc. My husband does his fair share of housework and is pretty good about doing dishes but the person we're renting one of our rooms to in our home doesn't clean up after himself, leaves his trash on mine and my husband's desks (we share an office, the three of us) and never bothers to offer to help clean. It's irritating and quite rude and at this point, I feel taken advantage of.

What are some good ways to encourage both my husband and our friend to start taking initiative and helping out around the house?

Next time he is in the room with you, start cleaning it, and while you do, pick up the garbage can and hand it to him. Asking him nicely and sweetly if he would be a dear and help you, as you have something you really need to do and you also really need to get this place cleaned up.

Basically, leading by example, while at the same time actually asking him to do each task. You could also ask him if he would mind taking over the task of cleaning the waste paper baskets once a week, or some such thing like this.

Finally, if he is simply unwilling, you could always suggest that you are just going to have to hire a maid to come in once a week and that his share of that will be an additional 40 dollars in rent per week. Unless of course, he would prefer to help take some of the load off your shoulders.

I hope this helps, and your non-working roomer, gets to idea.

Change the locks...but leave a note on the door stating why. Personally I hate cleaning up after grown capable people...My husband...being that he is not a slob, doesn't bother me to put things away after him though. I just love a clean house.

Some people don't care what you say or how you say it to them, they are natural born slobs and will never get the big picture because they don't want to. Save your breath and look for another renter, or not.