Should I take him up on the offer?

OK, so I'm 9 weeks pregnant and I work for 2 different doctors. they share an office and I work for one 2 1/2 days a week and the other the rest of the week. It's weird but it works well. my boyfriend works one full time job and a part time job to get rid of some extra bills. Once my bill are all gone, which should be in feb. I'm going to help him pay for his bills so he can quit the second job. We rent a house from his dad who has a 2 year old in daycare. The other day my boyfriend told me that once the baby is born I can quit my jobs and be a sahm if I watch his brother as well. We can stay rent free and is dad is saving money on not having to pay for a day care.
Anyways, I love the idea of being home with my baby but not at the expense of my boyfriend. I just feel like it's not fair to him to still have to have a full time job while I don't work, or to my coworkers to just quit. What would you do in my situation.

and I understand that we are not married, but we have been together for almost 2 years. We are very dedicated to each other. Plus, a lot of marriages end in divorce

I don't understand why you would consider it a problem for your boyfriend to have to work a fulltime job? That is what he should do - he will have a family to support. And believe me, you will have a fulltime job too, looking after a baby and a two year old!!

With regard to your work, give the appropriate notice, explain to them what is happening and I expect they will be very supportive.

You always have to do what's best for you. Your work will live without you. It sounds like you'll have ample time to give them notice.

I would jump at the chance. You will be contributing by raising your boyfriend's child AND enabling him not to have to pay rent.

You have to think of it financially. Technically if you are watching his brother, you are still working and bringing in income. You watch is brother = Free rent. I would write down your expenses and income on a piece of paper, with how things are now. And then do the same thing if you quit your job and watched his brother. Which is better?
Don't be ashamed if your bf said it is okay. Just make sure this is how he really feels.

try to balance a part time job with the day care and see where that leads

it would probably be a better ideal for you to stay home and take care of your child instead of putting in a day care for others to take of and not knowing what they are doing to your child.

It's your decision to make. Being a SAHM is a job in itself. Plus, you would be watching another child so it isn't like you're at home doing absolutely nothing. If your boyfriend is okay with it, then give it a shot. However, if you feel as if you need to be OUT working then that's up to you.

To me, it sounds like a nice, fair and ideal plan. Once your baby is here, you'll want to stay home and spend time with your baby. Plus, the 2 yr. old can help you prepare with the terrible-twos. The idea of staying home rent free is fabulous. your guy probably won't mind working the one job- it gets him out of the house (men usually can't handle baby-stress the way women can). And forget about your co-workers. Once it gets down to the wire, would they put their neck on the line for you? um, no, they wouldn't.

take your maternity leave and see how it goes with one paycheck. that way you still have the option of going back to work if nesasary. I wouldn't start baby sitting right away either. The new baby will take up alot of your time and watchin a 2 year old could tax your patients.
congrats on the baby and happy new year

Nothing is more important than taking care of your children. You will never wish that you had spent more time working and paying bills.

i would stay at home and earn some money at home on the internet. every little bit helps

i am a mother of 2 and i would stay home with my baby.When you put a baby in daycare or leave with a babysitter you never know what they are doing to your child.I did not work untill my children was old enough to talk good so if someone was mean to them they could tell me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My sister pay $800 per month in day care expenses. Add that to your rent and see if you make much more than that at your job. Keep in mind that you pay taxes for the money you make at work and will not be paying taxes on the money that you save.

Also - sahm's do work - your job is raising your child. That is a very important job that most people pass on to caregivers that are barely making more than minimum wage.

As far as being fair to your co-workers, tell your boss as soon as you make your decision so a replacement can be hired and trained before you leave.

Also, you can do things to make some money from home. Being a sahm doesn't mean you can't earn money. You could open a family day care and take on 2-3 other children besides yours and your boyfriend's brother. You could open an Ebay store. Mine is making about $300 a month and doesn't take up that much time.

Get married then jump on this offer with both feet.

You say- I understand that we are not married, but we have been together for almost 2 years. We are very dedicated to each other. Plus, a lot of marriages end in divorce

I say then get married and stop using this as an excuse.

HUGE mistake......
1) paying off the bf debts... foolish and not sound financial strategy... he got the bills, let him pay them.
2) How long is the free rent deal valid..... until the 2yo starts kinder garden? or school?
3) Your FIRST child, a newborn and an almost 3yo????
wow what responsibility, and pressure for you.... How much 24 hour child care for new born, and 10 hour a day, for a 3 year old do you have?
4) What are the total number of hours, or days are you expected to sit for the near 3 year old?
5) What expenses are yours...all food, and cleaing, etc, for the rent?

Do the math....
how much does this house rent for..... and with all the other expenses, what is your total compensation for all this work?
now divide by 2, as your BF will be living there too, so HE benefits greatly.
Now weigh this "offer" against your salary presently receiving? Does it make economical sense.

AND>>>>>>> remember all the extra bills BF has...can you LIVE comfortably on his single salary alone? and will he be mature enough to NOT incur a bunch of new debts, after you have quit your job?

I would get all terms in writing...and make sure you are covered, both by the BF, and his father.

I agree with another person who wrote to take your maternity leave and see how you feel with that an infant on its own is a full time job then to add a two year old thats more then a full time job. plus in the first few weeks with the baby your going to be exhausted, the baby might not sleep at all at night it might get its days and nights mixed up like my son did, so when the baby sleeps you need to sleep and that will not be possible with a two year old running around. Good luck.

You will have a lot to lose if your relationship does not work out. You are not married. What happens if you break up?

congratulations on becoming a mommy! personally i think it is very commendable of you to think about your boyfriend, but from personal experience i have to say definitely take the offer! i am the sole provider to a family of 6 (myself, fiance, mil, 2 stepsons and baby) and i have to tell you...if i had the chance to stay at home with my daughter i would do it in a heartbeat. i miss her so much when i am at work, plus i missed the first time she laughed. remember this too...without a rent payment your boyfriend won't have to work so hard to make money to pay all the bills. rent is usually the biggest expense in a household....think it would be a great weight off your shoulders. good luck , and whatever you choose may you be happy.

But you will be working full time, and while he is paying for the bills you are paying the rent.
How do I figure that? He is bring in the money for the bills but you are paying the rent by watching the 2 year old. On top of that you will be saving both of you the expense of day care for your child. You will also probably be in charge of the cleaning of the house and I am assuming food preperation so its not like you will be staying at home twiddling your thumbs you will be very busy. You are extremely blessed to have a situation like this, I would jump at the chance, and who knows if it works out, when your child is a little older maybe you can watch neighbors kids and make a little extra income as well!
Good luck to you.

While many women dream of being a SAHM, it isn't for everyone. Even though you have months until your child arrives, you're already up against some tough decisions.

I think you need to consider:

1. How much money will you be forgoing by giving up work? Besides the cash you take home every week, how about contributions towards retirement accounts or other benefits? Do your cash savings by living rent-free make up for that?

2. What will you do for insurance? Your boyfriend's insurance should cover your child, but since you're not married, it may or may not cover you. Paying for your own policy could be very expensive.

3. Will any of your credentials expire if you don't work? I assume that, if you had to go back to work in a year or two, it would be easy to return to medical assisting/secretarial work. But if that's not the case, it makes a difference.

4. What would childcare cost you? Would it be convenient to your place of employment? Going back to work while your child is in subpar care is very stressful.

5. Is there any middle road? Can you work part-time, care for your boyfriend's brother part-time and maybe take a partial reduction on your rent?

6. Lastly, do you think you can handle a newborn and a toddler? When I was first home with my son, I was so sleep-deprived that whenever he napped, I napped. That won't be an option with a toddler in your care. And while newborns can be difficult and interesting creatures, the same is true of toddlers - especially one leaving a structured day care situation and coming into a new set-up with an unfamiliar caregiver.

Before my son was born, I would NEVER have believed that caring for an infant or toddler was a full-time job. But honestly, it is so demanding, so tiring and so wildly ever-changing, that I often feel jealous when my husband walks out the door to leave for work - the place without Elmo, where adults talk about things other than potty training and you can't trip over toys.

You might not believe it now, but trust me, you won't be NOT working. With a toddler in your care, too, it might actually be much too much.

As someone who has always stayed home with my children (now 8 and 10), I feel that your priority is to your child. Please don't feel bad for your boyfriend having to work full time. You, too, will be working full time with your child. Too many children out there are stuck in a day care situation and I can confidently say that there is NO ONE who will care and love your child like you. Make any sacrifice you can to stay home with your child. Besides, there are lots of great home businesses that you can work part time with from home. You can take advantage of nap times and before and after your child goes to sleep at night! Go for it. It's the most rewarding job out there!!!
Alesia

Alesia Foster
Independent Consultant, Rodan+Fields
949.933.0000
alesia_foster@verizon.net
www.rodanandfields.com
Id# reprf10644

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