To be a stay at home mom or not to be...?

OK, so I'm 9 weeks pregnant and I work for 2 different doctors. they share an office and I work for one 2 1/2 days a week and the other the rest of the week. It's weird but it works well. my boyfriend works one full time job and a part time job to get rid of some extra bills. Once my bill are all gone, which should be in feb. I'm going to help him pay for his bills so he can quit the second job. We rent a house from his dad who has a 2 year old in daycare. The other day my boyfriend told me that once the baby is born I can quit my jobs and be a sahm if I watch his brother as well. We can stay rent free and is dad is saving money on not having to pay for a day care.
Anyways, I love the idea of being home with my baby but not at the expense of my boyfriend. I just feel like it's not fair to him to still have to have a full time job while I don't work, or to my coworkers to just quit. What would you do in my situation.

Well if you give plenty of notice to your job it should be no problem! I am a stay home Mom by my husbands wanting and who doesn't want to stay home and enjoy their little ones, they are only so small for so long! My Husband is proud that he works and provides for us and loves that I am staying home and knowing there is someone he can trust taking care of his baby! You can't just trust anybody with your child and that includes certified day cares!

It is a very personal decision. But my mom stayed at home with me and my sisters and I felt like I had a better childhood because of that. She was always there for me when I needed her.

I would keep working on a part-time basis so that you keep yourself in the job market and around adults. It is hard to go back to work later on if you quit completely now. I would tell your boyfriend how much you love him for offering for you to be a sahm, but tell him you want to work part time, and maybe then he can stay home one of the days you are working, so that you can save a little on the daycare when you work.

I stayed home ( went to school night & online, when his dad got home from work, he watched him) I would never do it any other way.

I would be a SAHM, but you have to make the decision that is best for you. Consider how much your rent is, how much would it cost you for daycare for your own child, how much would extra gasoline and vehicle maintenance cost for you to return to work. All of that you may as well consider as "income". They are things you would have to pay if you did go back. Plus you get to give your child the best for at least a while.

NO...."U" ...have 2 stay active ; u'r not married; then if "U"2 split what will happen????; no job, no education, no experience.....what will happen 2 the baby ????; what will be u'r ..."FUTURE"... & babys future.... ????

...just look around "U" & see how many girls end-up on the streets....

Do whatever you WANT to do. No one can really answer this for you. Personally, I know that I would have no choice, I'm the primary bread winner in my household. But my hubby and I work opposite shifts, so someone would always be home.

Everyone and every family is so different - you have to really sit down and do some soul searching and some calculating of your bills vs. income.

Good luck and congrats on your pregnancy!

I would absolutetly take the opportunity. It makes more sense than forking out a huge portion of your paycheck to daycare. Daycare is VERY expensive. I would wait until your baby is a couple months old, however, before taking on another child. Or it will be really hard on all of you.

A SAHM is still contributing to the household. Nobody can raise your child better than YOU. And you cant think of your co-workers. Being a parent means putting your child first, no matter how hard that may be.

There are pros and cons to each side. You may sometimes get bored being a SAHM, and have the guilt of not bringing in money. But you have to remember, hiring someone to do what you would be doing would cost a fortune, so you might as well do it yourself. Being a working mom, you'd feel guilty for leaving your child. You' probably miss a lot of work, because your child would be getting sick from being around so many other kids. You'd be annoyed at the things they were picking up from other children, and you would be annoyed at paying these people so much when all they do is shove a bottle in your kids mouth so they can tend to the older, more demanding kids.

I stay at home with my boy and I absolutely LOVE it! He is developing so much faster and seems so much smarter than other kids that I know that spend the day in daycare. You never know if they are really helping your child develop or not! I quit my job at 7 1/2 months preg. because I worked on my feet and I was swelling something terrible! I had time to get the nursery all done and relax before the baby came. And mind you this, being a stay at home mom is a full time job that lasts 24/7! And if you sent baby to daycare, how much of your paycheck would go to them??? Look in to prices! As for your co-workers, give a 2 week notice and then you won't be leaving them hangin'. And believe me girl while he is at work all day you will be cleaning, doing laundry, preparing meals and taking care of that baby! My husband likes the idea of him supporting his family and letting me stay home with our little guy to do everything around the house and help our little boy grow up! Plus since he wakes up early to work a 8-10 hour day I ALWAYS get up at night with the baby so he can sleep. On the weekend he lets me sleep one of the days. I can take naps with the baby during the day and he can't you know! I think it all works out on an even keel!
Good luck in your pregnancy parenting and decision you make! Happy new year sweety!!!!

You mentioned nothing about health insurance. Since he's only you're boyfriend - versus husband - how will you be covered?

Plus you're concerned about it not being fair to your boyfriend if he still has to work, but its also not fair to taxpayers if you go on assistance to pay your health care bills. Not saying this is your scenario, but since you didnt mention it, Im throwing it out there.


Since you work in the health field, you probably know how much things cost.

Your boyfriend wants you to do this. You will be doing his father a favour. It is not at all unfair to expect the father of the baby to support you.
It has happened for millenia.

I love being a stay at home mom! I love knowing that I won't miss any of her firsts. I honestly do not mean to sound judgemental but as that you two are not married I do not know how well that would work out. I know no one wants to think about it but..say you two split up. Since you are not married, you would not be entitled to anything except what was yours in the beginning. So if you two buy a car, have a checking account, buy furniture, etc if he is the only one working I believe he would be entitled to it all. I do not know this to be fact just what I think would happen. I just don't want you and your baby to be kicked out with no money, no car, no job, no place to live. Just something to think about. Congrats on the baby to be!