Boyfriends daughter is coming to live with us?

My boyfriends daughter is going to be 18 years old in a week. She is in the foster care system and will be removed when she turns 18. She will be coming to live with us. I have a 3 bedroom house and my son and nephew already lives with us. They actually share a room. I have a office that I go into on a regular basis to do work or even just to escape. That room will now become his daughter's room. I love his daughter, but I am not very comfortable with the thought of living with another grown female. She has been kicked out of so many foster homes and I really don't know what to expect. I work hard all day and would like to come home to peace. I am working on getting my 21 year old son and 24 year old nephew out of the house. Now I have another grown woman coming to live with me. I really want them to go and rent a apartment on their own, but my boyfriend doesn't have enough resources to do so at this time. I feel stuck. Any suggestions?

tell your son and nephew that they need to get out on their own, and give them a time limit to get out on their own (ex- 2 months to get an apartment and move out or something)
then work on your boyfriends daughter, and eventually you can do the same thing- give her a time limit she can stay so that eventually she has to get out on her own.
and when she moves in make sure that she gets a job and learns some responsibility so that she will be ready to go out on her own. good luck :]

Be honest with him and tell him how you feel. The first question is, why is he living in YOUR house and expecting YOU to put up his daughter, doesnt make much sense to me.

Encourage her to get some training even if she has to get a government loan to do it. Then she can get a good job and feel like she is somebody and she'll want to move out. No adult really wants to live with her parent for long. If she fink dinks around with minimum wage jobs she will be stuck there and never move out.

They are adult and need to get out on their own. Tell your son and nephew to get jobs and get out of the house. The 18 year old after the week is an adult too... get the foster kid's head on straight, and then get her out the door two... you don't need 3 grown adults leaching off of you.

Be honest there is no need to be uncomfortable in your home. I mean it is noble to help her get on her feet and it is a great move for a "step mom". However, there needs to be an in depth discussion about your concerns and the terms of her living in your home and the length of the stay before she moves in before you really feel stuck down the line

i would let her come but if she acts up she will have to go and find something else. you shouldnt have to put up with that. they are all grown and should be takeing care of themselves not living off of others. i would also give her some time to find her own place and let her know she needs to start looking, as of a certain date she will be out of there.

try it out and be clear with everyone that this is all a trial basis and to work on leaving the home within the year

First of all, you are only stuck if you do nothing. Tell your b/f your concerns, keeping all statements in the 'I' context. I feel, I think, I am concerned. That kind of statement feels less confrontational. You may want to tell him that sometimes taking care of your own child past when they need it stops them from learning how to stand on their own two feet. Perhaps a time limit on her stay. Using a contract regarding acceptable behavior and unacceptable so to make rules very clear to all parties, include consequences if this contract is broken. Therapists suggest this kind of thing all the time. Make sure you give yourself wiggle room, but give her none. All must agree and sign it, then it must be enforced. Don't make threats you are unwilling to carry out, you will loose any authority you have. That's the best I have, I wish you good luck.
Blessed Be