How does hatred of what we are affect us?

I found it hard to form this question. This is my case. My darling Gwen and I met at our office and through mutual liking of classical music and a shared humor eventually realised our love after 3 years.
While just friends, her family welcomed me and invited me to their church. When we moved in together, the position changed. Horrid Bigots is the only way I can describe it.
At the end, I was away for a time and returned to find that Gwen had died from a rapid onset cancer.
The family had her buried in the non concecrated part of their cemetary and inscribed her stone with "UNKNOWN TO GOD".
I suffered severe depression and am now recovering. I have received helpful advice from readers of "Answers", but was wodering if such hatredwas commonplace.
"The veil of tears shall lift as the last rain on a winter's day,The setting sun sharply reflects, softly reveals then fades. Tomorrow WILL be a bright spring day, the delight of my beloved"
Rose P.

I should have said that we had many years together with the usual highs and lows.
The repose of the spirit is the main thing.
Rose P.

I have tears in my eyes ,after reading this all. I can read real love and sorrow through the lines.Nobody should ever go through all this.Its horrid that family do these things. Where is the family respect ? Unfortunately great things come to an end quickly and I really feel sad for you . You brought me bad memories, not that I will ever forget my late gf as I still remember her everyday. After reading your story ,I am happy that my gf never came out, at least she had a respectful funeral as deserved. I hope you are a little better now, and will have another chance to love,that is what your late girlfriend would want, she'd want you happy .... Please take care and if you need any further support , just click on my e mail in profile ! Take care !

no offence.but looks like you were looking for understanding & sympathy more then answers to the actual question. which is understandable. You might find a GLBT friendly counselor will be much more help then a Q&A board on the internet... Report It

yes rose its very common, sorry

First off, I just want to say I am very sorry for your lost. I can't believe people would act that way. And did they really go as far as to put 'unknown to God' on her grave? Bigots and homophobes usually make me upset, but in this case, the only thing you can do is pray that they will change for the better.

I'm sorry for your loss, it was deeply felt in your question. I don't understand that type of hate, as I don't understand why people hate people with different beliefs and religions, I don't even know how you can hate anyone without knowing who they are, not what they are. I'm sorry for what her family did, that was wrong, and know that they hurt themselves in disgracing their beloved Gwen. You can honor her by remembering her in love. And remember hate hurts the hater the most. I hope you continue to find peace.

her parents could bury her in a garbage dump and it wouldn't matter. stupidity and ignorance are one and the same when religion is the only thing someone has to live for. and that is what her family had. nothing else mattered but their religion. it should not have been surprising to you, rather it should have been expected. the body is not the spirit, and it turns to dust no matter what anyone does. don't expect anything else, because the spirit is gone to wherever it was bound.

how? it ruins our lives

I am so touched by your story and I truly feel for you and your loss. I wish that I could say something that would give you relief from your hurt and to take away your sadness. I don't understand why or how any parents could show any acts of hatred towards their child like this.

I can only say one thing to you that if any will shine some relief on you and your heart..............

The short time that the two of you shared will forever go on and for all the tears that you let fall for her they are just a few of the memories that I am sure that you hold close to you. Hold close all the love and happy times that made you two as one.

You need to live for her everyday and remember her life that she gave to you and not the death that haunts you now.

I am sorry for your loss and I wish you well. Hold your head up high and carry her spirit with you always.

God loves you, and He wants to bless you. I am sorry for the loss of your close friend. Humans will always be hurtful, spiteful and nasty. It is their nature. I am a Christian who knows the true love of Jesus Christ. When you hurt, He hurts also. I know in this dark moment that you are having that Jesus is shining His light upon you. Do not concern yourself with the hatred of humans. I have been hated before. I had a car accident when I was only 7 years old. I was hit by a car. I was in a coma for 2 and a half months. After my operation in which they put 168 stitches in my head and shaved my head bald, I returned to school only to be picked on for the rest of my schooling. I have recently been through a terminal cancer as well. What I mean is that in October last year I was diagnosed with a terminal cancer in my duodenum. I sort my God every day and especially when I was very sick. I was told I would be dead by January this year. Only 1 month ago, I was visited by God during the night. I am now healed. Turn to Him in your time of need. He is the only 1 who really cares for you. He will guide you

Wow, i thought i was reading a book on horror. Sorry for your loss. Unfortunately, this is an act of ignorance. Education is power, which not everyone is exposed too. Those family members will have a long chat with St. Peter, only to see Gwen happily sitting beside God

Very sad indeed. I'm sorry for your loss...

I think hatred twords our community affects us in many many ways..
It stunts our growth for one... and when I speak of growth Im not refering to the number of "out" homosexuals in the world although it does affect that also. What Im mainly speaking about is the growth of acceptance... you can have 5 people who have strong anti gay beliefs that will be able to pursuade 50 people who had no prior opinion on the issue in the time it would take 10 gay activist to pursuade 15 people who had no prior opinion on the issue... of cource the reason is obvious... we are out numbered for one and then so many have so many religious beliefs burned into thier minds.. Often those looking to pursuade someone to behave in an anti gay manner will use those issues to their advantage... of cource only sharing relevant religious refrences to "prove" they are right in the way they believe

Hatred twords homosexuals causes people to harbor resentments, unexpressed anger, and depression..

this alone doesnt only impact our community. It affects the government at every level.. city, county, state and federal.
How?
Most of us are able to hold decent jobs when we can find one where we are safe from descrimination.. but for those of us who are not able to find one safe from discrimination... who pays for the mental health needs? impatient hospitalizations? antidepressants? it starts out at city and state level usually...most states have some sort of mental health system established to meet the needs of people within the state... and have clinics within most major cities and alot of the smaller ones... so they provide the prevenative care and maintence... then the city and county usually have a hospital that deals with uninsured patients and patients that are taken care of by the state ran mental health system, who need in patient care.... where do all these agencies get their funding in the end? city gets city/county gets it from the state and the state gets it from taxes and federal funding.... who pays all that??? everybody in america...
and I only bring these details up because... with the intensity of the problem... and its bigger then you might think.... you think it would be a wake up call to our federal government to come to some sort of resolution... some sort of compromise at the very least... it would save them alot of money in the long run

And that doesnt even include hate crimes against homosexuals...
a single hate crime will run up quite a large bill by the time the case is investigated and close..

Hatred twords our community causes everyone harm in the long run even the anti gay folks... of cource they are never going to admit that out loud...
of cource none of them will ever experience the hardships thefolks in the GLBT community do....

its a gift... it really is...
I dont take simple things for granted...
I am able to feel and express grattitude even in the darkest of hours... One cant truly know they are happy if they have never experienced sadness...
if I have been sucessful at nothing else in life... I have suceeded in loving and respecting myself. And I did my little part to try and influence others to view each other with respect...... even if they dont agree with them... and although it may not have any effect on then instantly or even before I leave this earth... it still could...

Rose...how can I tell you how sorry I am..we all have these terrible hurts in our lives that never quite go away.....
How does hatred affect our lives..our health....??I think that hate is an extremely powerful emotion that destroys many many people...I feel terribly sorry for Gwen's family..I can't imagine that type of infantile and hurtful behaviour...and they live with themselves every minute of their lives!
I'm a gay man and I have no answers for you...I do understand depression and know that that can be conquered...and if I could take some of the hurt away from you I would..but I can't. But I do care.
\

I'm sorry for your loss. That was a beautiful poem.
I am very fortunate not to have suffered such bigotry in my own life. I feel very fortunate none of my friends and relatives are fundamentalists of any religion. But the hatred of society in general does affect us all in subtle ways and large ways. I think about it most when I'm out in public with my partner of 36 years. Like any couple in love we like to hold hands. And sometimes we do - but we have to look around first and decide whether or not its "safe" to do so. Life shouldn't be that way.

Yes, specifically among fundamentalists of all stripes. Fundamentalism is evil -- not just because of its positions on gay rights -- but because of its treatment of its own children and its determination to wield complete political power. I don't think that all rank and file members are evil -- but the movement as a whole is an abomination.

I am terribly sorry that this happened to you -- but people like these people exist throughout the network (in America) of fundamentalist and evangelical churches. They are sad, sick and disgusting, and are (in the opinion of my parish) neither Christian nor correct, being barely human as individuals and totally without any spiritual understanding, worshiping a book rather than God -- though they avoid admitting that if they can.

Where her body lies does not matter. She rests in a heavenly kingdom, and she will be waiting for you.

Kind regards,

Reynolds
http://www.rebuff.org
believeinyou24@yahoo.com