GIRL to GIRL question.. females please!?

I'm 19 years old and I really wanna have sex. I feel like ive reached the stage where its right for me (i dont care what anyone else says, as long as its ok for me and i feel good about it). There is one problem. In my few attempts to have sex, I couldnt because it hurt too much. As soon as the guy puts it in not even halfway, it hurts LIKE HELL. Ive looked down there and I know I have a thick hymen, and im really considering having a hymenectomy done(surgical removal of the hymen- usually done in 20 min. at gynecologists office). BUT i cannot tell my parents this because im not comfortable sharing that with them. They are overly religious and sex before marriage is not ok with them at all. Im afraid that if I have the hymenectomy it will show up on my insurance statement (which my parents pay for). What in the world do i do?

I am female - I chose a male icon because I was tired of being harassed by men on the internet. So rest assured, my answer is girl to girl.

Before you go so far as to have a surgery, consider altering your sexual technique. First, make sure that your partner is 100% informed about your situation, so he (or she) knows to be gentle and go slowly. Second, make sure you use plenty of lubricant. Finally - and probably most importantly - you need to make sure you are really turned on before intercourse - near climax. Being really turned on mitigates pain. When you're really turned on, you do not really feel pain as intensely.

All of this means that you are going to need plenty of foreplay and your partner needs to learn how to keep you turned on the entire time by manipulating your clit.

There are plenty of us who have difficulty with pain and intercourse. Most of us learn to work around it through varying positions and technique. Make sure that you stay relaxed - this is supposed to be pleasurable. If you tense up, it makes things a whole lot worse. Don't put any pressure on yourself or your partner to do it, or not do it. Let your feelings be the guide. It may not work out the first couple of times, but sooner or later, you will find the right moment.

I would avoid the surgery.

At 19, you are technically an adult, and could buy your own life insurance policy.

Or, you could pay upfront without any support at ALL from your insurance companies. It would be on you medical records...but not on an insurance statement.

But that could be pricey.

I think if this is giving you too much truoble you shuold just wait till marriage, it already seems like its giving you alot of stress so just i wuold say wait till marriage thats what am doing. Plus if you know your parents are goin to bug out when they find out why dont you just save your slef sometruoble and work on something else productive for sometime till you find some other solution.

I would schedule an appt. with the gyno b/c at your age sex or no sex you should start going when your 18! And just ask about it! They may break it doing the exam! If you want to try on your own try to masturbate more too!
And to be totally honest the first time usually sucks anyways! You have to go really slow! I'd suggest extra lube like KY or Asroglide! But if they do do the surgery it will show up on the bill! So talk to your doc! That's your best bet!
And to all those people that are gonna tell you to wait it's your body remember that! If you feel ready just please be smart about sex use protection, always bring your own don't depend on anyone but yourself! Good luck to you!

No pain no gain.

i think u should just try the sugery and just hopes it dosen t come up on the card and if it does thn just tell them the truth caust they r ur parents. or u r in colleage(sp?) so u are really the boss of urself and they cant say wat u can an cant do.

If you are not mature enough to openly discuss sexual matters with your parents you are not ready. What happens if you get pregnant?? You have no insurance of your own! Do yourself a favor and wait.

First of all, you are nineteen years old and should be able to make a decision on whether to have surgery or not. If you're worried about what to tell your parents just say that you had the hymenectomy to make it easier to insert a tampon and hopefully that will satisfy their curiosity.

Your other options are taking aspirin before intercourse, having longer foreplay, making sure your partner is using lubricant and most important of all you should be very relaxed. Good luck.

Talk to your doctor and see why women have it done. Then you can pick another reason if they confront you.

If you have the funds you can pay for it yourself. Are you sure the insurance company shows it on your parents statement, you might want to check on this because your medical records are confidential. They are available only to you and your doctor or someone who you may authorize to see them. Do you think you could tolerate it any better if you were to break the hymen yourself in private, that is another option that might work. It is too bad your parents thinking does not agree with yours, I know how that goes because I had the same problem. For what it is worth I agree you are old enough and if you are OK with it and feel you are ready to become sexually active it is OK for you. Just be sure you always practice safe sex.

what a question. THINK before you leap.

I had exactly the same problem with it hurting too , but I bet you're reason might be the same one mine was : I was nervous about my first time and afraid it would really hurt so I was tensing up down there after a few bad attempts I finally was able to relax and enjoy and it was great it didn't even hurt anymore. I hope you solution is as easy as mine I'd hate to see you have to resort to the surgery . Good luck and quit tensing up just relax and have fun.