I m depressed............?

Mine was an arranged marriage. I was 20 then. its 1 and half years now. we both are not compatible. i dont know how much m,y husband loves me but i dont have any love for him. he never shares with me anything. he only talks irrelevant things like abt his office or money all the time.he never sits to talk abt my past life or says much abt his.He ll be least interested in talking abt day to day activites going on. The culture frm which i come doesnt permit me to divorce him. I m getting bothered abt this. I dont know as how i ll have kids with a person i dont like. is this normal for an arranged marriage. is anybody spending their life with a person they dont like? wht do i do in this situation?

You had a life when you were single, that doesn't change now that you are married.

I can't comment on your culture because I don't know your customs. But customs in and of themselves are cultural rules that have evolved and shaped the individuals who express them. Although you were born into this culture, you can either choose to live in it or create your own.

How is it that you are forced to MARRY someone that you didn't choose; and are forced to STAY MARRIED to someone you didn't choose? Your parents picked your husband and said, "Marry him and stay married to him forever!"

Your culture may not permit you to divorce him, but your culture doesn't stop you from divorcing the culture itself.

My point, any culture that controls you are social rules you CHOSE to agree with. Culture doesn't control your will, YOU CONTROL YOUR WILL. Your will is free. Any culture that attempts to control your will should be rejected. And those who choose to continue to follow that culture, their opinions and beliefs should be respected, but you don't have to LIVE by them.

If your marriage has not been consummated sexually, you have an opportunity to walk away because you are married in NAME only; not spiritually. If you have consummated your vows, divorce can only spiritually take place if the union is broken sexually via adultery - then you are free.

It seems that you are both psychologically divorced; and that you are both "going through the motions" as a "married couple" when you are not married emotionally. I don't advocate divorce as a way to escape an unpleasant "covenant" relationship; but to seek a way to "live" with it.

My point, you have more control over how to make the most of your relationship with your husband than you realize. I know that you feel trapped and that you want out; that you are starved for love, and want to connect with him emotionally if that is possible.

Go to the library or bookstore and find this book titled "The Five Love Languages". It is written by a marriage counselor who has over 20 years of experience in this area. He speaks of having a love tank and that it needs to be filled. Your love tank is empty, and you need to be filled.

There is so much more that I want to speak to you about, but this forum is not the appropriate place. Click on my name and contact me with an email address to respond to. When I respond, you can email me directly with more detail.

Long story short, you both have to find a way to actively form a "relationship" that you can both "relate" to; and a "partnership" that you both can "partner" in. Until such a relationship and partnership exist, DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN!

Otherwise, you will ensnare yourself into a trap that you CANNOT escape.

Well I think it is high time you break away from the culture you where brought up in..because if you don't then your going to drive yourself crazy. I really don't know what else to say but I hope you get out of the situation you are in and maybe you will be happier.

It depends on your religion and your beliefs. I personally would not stay in a marriage that I was that unhappy in. Have you tried counseling? That may help if you both want it to work, you do not sound like it, but it is worth a try. You are married now, so as I said it really depends on what you believe in, prayer is something that I always suggest, because it does work, in God's time not ours. Ask for the strength and wisdom, and patience to see what God's will is for you. If your husband is abusive in anyway, get yourselves some support, therapy, YWCA, ect there are places that you can go to talk to someone, one on one. I do not feel that this is a very good place to find an answer to make a decision such as this one. God Bless and I will keep you in my prayers.

I can imagine how uncomforable of a situation that is. I'm not marriaged so you might not get the answer your looking for from me, but I will do my best.

You say that divorce is not an option, due to your culture, so that only leaves on option. Accept your marriage for what it is. Perhaps it may be difficult now, since you don't love him, but in time there may be a sort of companionship that may develope.

If you feel lonely try to keep a journal or make friends. Have a way to vent your thoughts. Its important to do this because I understand how difficult it is to keep things inside.

Just accept your life for what it is. Happiness comes in many different forms, you may just not be open to them.

I wish you much luck and happiness.

I can't comment about arranged marriages.

However, I'm not sure I see the point in discussing your past life...This would only keep you in a place where you're not ready to go forward in life with your husband.

The "irrelevant" things that he discusses with you are the things that are happening in his life. These are the same things that all husbands and wives share with each other. We come home from work, and tell each other what happened in our day. This is a way of staying connected with each other, when you have to be physically separated. You should try to understand that this is probably his way of allowing you to learn more about him - knowing each other better will allow you to be more intimate and friendly with each other.

Do you share your daily stories with him? Most certainly you should, as it will allow him to learn more about you, too. It is important for you to express your stresses and frustrations, also, so don't keep this all inside. I'm sure he can see that your marriage is not perfect, also. You would both benefit from being totally honest, and working together on these things that bother you (and probably the things that bother him, too).

who care

2 hell w. ur culture (no offense , just a point of view) and 2 hell with ur guy.. seriously ur gonna get cancer being this stressed.. imagine if u fall in luv w/ some1 else.... bro.. i say fu*k ever1 and do waat u wan2