My spouse is very suspicious & dominatng. This has led me to seek sex from others?

I am 41 years old and my wife around 35. I never had an affair after marriage , have never cheated. My wife on the other had has a notion that I am having affairs. She has a certain basic conception of how I should behave in a social gathering, with whom I should talk, how I should talk with females married or unmarried. A number of times she has spoilt such events for me and later on we invariably have a tiff and end up not talking to each other for days. This thing is now affecting me in other ways. I am now seeking female company. I have started friendship with one divorcee ( around 29 yrs old)and and a young widow.( no sexual moves yet with either) I frequently get an urge to touch my female collegues in office. I feel an urge for sex and also for someone with whom I can share my problems.

Any analysis / advice etc. are welcome.

wow, u need to talk to ur wife to stop that, man...seriously, i think it's affecting u mentally and emotionally......

i mean, this is a problem between you two, stop making other people victim too.

think about it.

hope that helps.
all the best.

its not an excuse ,but thats all you really needed to fulfil your hedonistic desire..................i suspect you are a good person, because most people dpnt need excuses to do such...........best of luck

So are you divorced now too, or just proving that your wife is right about you.

OK cheating is not the answer... If you gotten as far as looking for company else where the only thing your going to proof to your wife is that she was right all along.. suggest to your wife marriage counseling and find out if you still love your wife if you feel that your relationship is over then simply get a divorce it should not be hard if you no longer have feelings for her, just let go and get a divorce.. But try marriage counseling first.. Good luck.

Get a divorce and then move on to other women....otherwise your just asking for a sh*tful of more problems.

This is prob. not the answer you want, but the thing is dude, you cant cheat on your WIFE,,,, shes your wife, not your girlfriend,,, if you fell this way, sit down and talk to her, if it doesnt work, talk about a divorce,, but whatever you do , dont cheat,,, it will just make things harder for you and her both. think about it this way, say if she cheated on you, how would you feel? i know shes being mean to you, but that why you need to have a talk with her,,, and i dont know what kind of religion you are, but pray about it, god can help you through any situation. hope this helps

I'm 42 and my wife is 35. All I can say is DONT DO IT.
Don't allow yourself to be put in situations where you are tempted to do it. Cut off the relationship with the 29 year old. Do you have kids? You owe it to them to work out the problems with your wife. But if you have the affair, then you are the bad guy.
Try to work it out with your wife, without the other distractions complicating things.

You are making a lame excuse to cheat.


If you are not happy get a divorce, cheating in inexcusable.

DO NOT have sex with another woman. I don't say this a moralist or a preacher. I say this from experience. The ONLY thing it can do is hurt your marraige, hurt your wife, and ultimately hurt your life. Think about it.....what are the upsides? You get satisfaction. It lasts for a while then it's gone. The downsides? You feel like crap for being such a lousy person, you hurt your wife, your family, her family, kids if you have them, you damage your reputation amongsts your peers, the list goes on. As for your wife, you don't just hurt her.....you wreack havoc in her life. It is not fair, it is not right, and it is not MANLY. Act like a MAN, control your urges. Believe me, it's all for the best.
Go to counselling; you and your wife. Do what you have to do to avoid an affair. Be honest with her. If you have an affair you will never be able to be truly honest again.

Cheating isn't the answer. If you think she has issues with you now, wait'll she finds this out. You ain't seen nothing yet.

Don't cheat.

I can understand how your wife treating you like that is really bothering you. It must be horrible to be accused of things on a regular basis and feel like you're always being watched. If you do what you want now, you're only proving her right. But that's not what marriage is about- who's right and who's wrong. Maybe she was cheated on before. I noticed you said you hadn't cheated on her since you've been married, did you cheat on her before marriage? That could be a reason why she's suspicious. Maybe you have changed- but it never got resolved for her. You need to do what it takes to resolve the issue. Sadly, most women have complexities like this where they worry about being cheated on. But look at the world today- it's no wonder. Go to marriage counseling, let her know what it's doing to you- but above all- don't cheat. I'm sure she loves you with all of her heart and is just so afraid of loosing you. Don't let it happen but let her know you can't go on living like this. Lastly, give her a reason to trust you- don't cheat.

I think you should talk to your wife let her know things have got to change or your gonna go else where to find the love that you need

Well, I think you need to grow some balls, and leave her. Give her a chance to find a real man when she's still young. If it's about kids, and you guys are acting like children around your kids, it's not doing anybody good. Leave. An urge for sex and touching coworkers??? Beware of a sexual harrassment complaint very soon. Perhaps you needed to have more sex before you married your wife. You seem to be having a mid-life crisis. I think it's just dawning on you that 40 year old guys lose attractiveness and this is your last chance at getting some other sex. It's nothing to do with your wife, it all about you using her as an excuse to get away.

Are you trying to say that your wife has no reason to suspect you of having affairs? You are seeking affairs and trying to justify it by blaming it on your wife.

Benny,
You and your wife need to begin a Bible study. Find a local group of Christians who use the BIBLE as their sole guide and begin studying the BIBLE with them. You and she both need to do so ASAP. What you are doing is as much a sin as what she has done. GOD is a wonderful person to be included in a marriage. If HE is not in that marriage, it is incomplete. My wife and I have been married 32 years and we are extremly faithful to one another. Have a wonderful day.
Thank you,
Eds

PS:
I could find a group near you if you are interested drop me a note.


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Spouses that are that jealous don't change - trust me I put up with it for 14 years. It's no way to live. Obviously she has trust issues and self esteem issues that she needs to work on for herself before she can have a healthy relationship with anyone. However, cheating is not the answer either. If she finds out it will reaffirm her suspicions and you'll hear I told you so for the rest of your life. Attend counselling together if she'll go and if that doesn't work move on. I tried everything and in the end wasn't happy. I left. I am now engaged to a wonderful person who went through pretty much the same thing I did with a domineering spouse and we are extremely happy together. We don't get jealous of each other, we talk about everything and we have fun together and seperately. We can talk to the opposite sex without fear of reprisal later and we respect each others feelings. Life is too short to be unhappy and afraid all the time. You deserve happiness and so does your wife even if it's not together.

Best of luck.

Can we say - mid life crisis??
If you don't want to be married anymore and see other women, then do yourself and your wife both a favor and get a divorce BEFORE doing anything!

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