Things to say at work when ur stressed...?

Things to say at work when you're stressed:

"Okay, okay! I take it back. Unscrew you"

"You say I'm a ***** like it's a bad thing"

"Well this day was a total waste of make-up"

"Well aren't we a bloody ray of sunshine?"

"Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after."

"Do I look like a people person?"

"This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting"

"I started out with nothing and still have most of it left"

"Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose"

"Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?"

"I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years."

"Sarcasm is just one more service I offer."

"Do they ever shut up on your planet?"

"I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable"

"Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet"

"Back off!! You're standing in my aura."

"Don't worry. I forgot your name too."

"I work 45 hours a week to be this poor."

"Not all men are annoying. Some are dead."

"Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality"

"Chaos, panic and disorder ... my work here is done."

"Ambivalent? Well yes and no."

"You look like ****. Is that the style now?"

"Earth is full. Go home."

"Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?"

"I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert."

"A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth."

"You are depriving some village of an idiot."

"If a**holes could fly, this place would be a freaking airport."

u have already told this joke but thanx anyway!

Don't go to work and apparently don't go to school either. I would think by 6th grade they'd teach youo the difference between a statement and a question?

lol they are good for a laugh

feckin' hilarious !!! well done you made my day x x x x x =)

Worth of reading it.

Those are insults, not stress relievers.

I don't feel like reading it because it is too long!!! Sorry