Are these some useful expressions for high stress days at the office?

1. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?

2. A hard-on doesn`t count as personal growth.

3. This isn`t an office. It`s Hell with fluorescent lighting.

4. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

5. I can`t remember if I`m the good twin or the evil one.

6.How many times do I have to flush before you go away?

7. You say I`m a b*tch like it`s a bad thing.

8. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

9. It must be awful hard to hear with your head up your ***.

10. I dont work here. I`m a consultant.

11. I`ll try being nicer if you`ll try being smarter.

12. I will akways cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

13. I`m not being rude. You`re just insignificant.

14. It`s a thankless job, but I`ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.

15. It might look like I`m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I`m really quite busy.

16. I see you`ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public again.

thanks! i'll be using these...

lol

yeah. lol

excellent!i will be using some of those:)..have a star bud:)

number two is the best lol, it descibes my last job!! ;) ....number one is very unoriginal. ....hope u dont actually say these to ppl.....! ud be the most hated person in the office and believe me they always talk behind ur back.....no 7 is lame and about 1000 yrs old....I see it on 7 yr olds t shirts sometimes.....no 4, 5 and 2 are rly funny as well!

Very good ,i,ll use some of those this week! Thanks

6 and 16 are the best and no, don't use those lines for real. Instead just smile really big and laugh really loud, while standing really close to people when they are rude to you....eventually they will leave you alone, when they gossip about you, return the favor by being painfully nice to everyone, you will make them so sick they will just stop talking about you, make friends with the boss and let him see you being nice to everyone (disgustingly nice) so when they try to bad mouth about you to the boss, your boss will back you up.....eventually all those people will quit or commit suicide, either way, you will be promoted by then and if you're not, you'll will still be untouchable - welcome to Corporate America.

Great!!! i'll use all tham

Nope. Any of those make it clear that the source of your "wit" is exclusively the Internet.

hahaha very good. lol

ha ha ha funny
thanks for a laugh