Do you like short stories?

Midnight blues, By Mark P

Kevin Knight: City Cop
Beth Bowen: Love of his life

It was a dark and cold night and as a city cop it was up to me to keep the peace, but something was funny about tonight. Unlike other nights we had more fights and calls for 9-1-1 services but tonight it was quite to quite, then out of no where it happed... Boom it sounded as if a 100 bomb went off at the same time It was unreal, I ran to my office window and I looked out.. It had looked as if the whole city was on fire, people running for their lives with death right behind them and only a slim hope for life infront. Its something no one would have dreamed but it has just happened and its coming stright in my direction.

to be continued.....

Mark A Pendergraft (freestyle writing) :)

Its all started back when I became a cop, I was 21 and I wanted to follow after my Dad who was a retired police officer. He had 15 years in the force and he always wanted the same for me, I was not the best in my class nor was I the worst I was about in the mid. I was able to get on with the city because of my Dad and the fact he was respected so much, something I never could forget because every one know why I got on the force. I was lucky I had many years on the street and now I can relax as now I do mostly office work and a little on-site reports now and then, My Dad had always said wait till I knew I could be home before I started a family of my own so I thank its time. Beth is a girl who I had known for sometime but we never really tried to get together because we knew it was be to hard, now I can take more time and do it right. I'm 40 and now know what I want I'm still young and life is just starting for me, I will ask her tomorrow.

your writing stinks! Don't give up your day job. "Fries with that?"

This is cool.

I changed my mind, I will be constructive in my criticism.
Why introduce the characters in the beginning with their names like it was a play?
Are you attempting to parody noir radio? Get on http://otr.net/ and listen to some of the sam spade episodes, it might really help you refine the style.
It feels generally sloppy and rushed, you really need to read over what you wrote before you post it, at the very least you may catch simple mistakes like "100 bomb" instead of 100 bombs.
Challenge yourself to be more inventive in your imagery. Take the 100 bombs simile: take it and come up with 10 alternatives to complete the phrase "it sounded as if," try to think about the words you are using.

It needs a lot of work, but you are obviously having fun with it, so keep it up and see if you can get some polish on that rusty thing.

don't listen to wheels, it was good, needs alittle more detail, but is farily good for a short summary.

It sounds like you're rushing it a bit. Even a short story needs a bit of a build up. You have enough there to make me wonder what you're leading up to but not enough to make it stand alone. There's a lot of destructive short stories out there. You need to come up with your difference that will set it apart.

Other than that... You have a great last name for being a writer! ;)

Your style of writing is good but needs a little work. I liked the beginning. It reminded me of 9/11.

excitment wow

As a matter of fact, I don't. They just leave me cold. I have read a few that I enjoyed - I sometimes like those anthology books like My Big Fat Supernatural Wedding. And there's an author, I think her name is Erin Bradley, who writes erotica short stories and she's quite good.

It's interesting but its missing an edge maybe soom adjective to explain the city (like... the city noise buzzed in my ears annoyingly ...) blah , blah. I might take a wild guess here and say your a begginer. Keep trying and maybe you'll get somewhere. Remember adjectives are a writers best friend. Paint the rainbow with dazzling colors and make it your own.