Writing a Letter to Manager.plz help me write a perfect letter,& make it correct if there's any mistake.?

Can anyone draft a letter to manager mentioning that kindly return back my advance rent because I cannot afford to live in this flat.As that was my quick decision but now when I have spent 3 days I came to know that distance is causing a big problem for me.My kid school and offices are very far from this flat and I cannot manage my time to cover that much distance.
Please accept my sincere appologies.
Awaiting for your immediate response.
Regards,
XYZ

To Whom It May Concern: <----(or you can insert the name of your manager here)

Although I was initially pleased with the apartment I have recently rented, I have realized that I under-estimated the travel distance between my workplace and my children's school. After living here for a few days, I understand that there is no way I can continue my tenancy here without affecting my punctuality at work and my children's timelinesss at school. I apologize for this error, because it was completely a mistake in my judgement, and no fault of your own.

It will be necessary for me to move and find a place where the distance is not a problem. Again, I am very sorry for the mistake, and I would greatly appreciate if you would refund the advance rent that I have paid. Thank you so much for your time and understanding in this matter. I would be very thankful for an immediate response as well, due to the timely nature of my problem.

Sincerely,
XYZ

Thing is your now in a contract, which means you most likly will not get your money back. you can try your letter make sure you address it to the manager by name, and date and keep a copy for yourself.
Dear ABC,
I am afraid I made a mistake. I cannot afford to live in this flat.As that was my quick decision but now when I have spent 3 days I came to relize that distance teh commute to my childs school and my job was mch father than I relized.
Please accept my sincere appologies.
Awaiting for your immediate response.
Regards
XYZ