My boyfriend and I just moved in on May 31st of this year.... I do not want to live with him anymore... we had

a huge argument and I want him to leave... He is a nice guy but gets verbally and borderline physically abusive when we argue. He refuses to leave b/c his name is on the lease. Everything in this house I bought.... EVERYTHING.... at this point I will leave regardless. I will talk to the leasing office 2morrow and see what they say. I am even willing to rent another apartment in the complex if its ok with them. I want to stay in this one and take over but not sure if that's possible. Whatever way it goes i am prepared just to pack up and leave. I will go to court later and fight... I can't tolerate living in this sort of hostile environment. I just need a little guidance on this matter and how will the system view this sort of situation... by the way he can't support himself in this apartment by himself. He's barely making ends meet now!

Yes I was stupid... I saw warning signs at my old apartment...everyone in my family didn't want to move in. I felt bad b/c he is trying to make a life for himself. I didn't want to judge him to hastily... but he has a really bad attitude when he is upset. I have tried to be patient with him when we get into arguments. I ignore him or talk softly and that infuriates him more... He isn't satisfied until he has provoked me into a yelling match and he tries to get me to push him ... he's been doing that more often. He won't stop until I am provoked... he will push me ... if i'm sleeping take the covers off... in a hot room take the fan out.... he'll keep doing things and doing them...yelling in my face ...smacking things out my hand.... He even called the police last night... after he smashed my phone and through the garbage can on the floor and broke a cd he claims was his... they didn't do anything....

This is why people shouldn't live together until they've been together for a while and are ready to make a committment and get married.

Hopefully you have kept receipts to show you purchased the furniture and things in the apartment, if not, it's your word against his. If necessary, get copies of credit card receipts or see if you can get copies of the purchase papers at the companies where you bought things.

First of all and without his knowledge, take pictures of all the items that you can prove are yours so you can prove what condition they are in. Take all your pictures, important papers and proof of purchase to a safe location so he can't destroy anything.

Then go talk with the management at the apartment complex and tell them what the situation is and ask them if your name can be transferred to the lease, that you would like to stay in the apartment, and would they be willing to relieve him of his lease because you want him out and explain why. Find out first what they are or are not willing to do before you approach him. Hopefully they will work with you and try to help get him out. If they agree and he leaves willingly (or unwillingly) and you stay in the same apartment, get the locks changed immediately and pay someone to put another deadbolt lock on the door.

Then you need to talk with him but not by yourself. If he is abusive, he may try to hurt you when you tell him you want him out. Whatever you do, do not raise your voice at any time during your discussion even if he goes crazy. Don't add fuel to the fire and make it worse or give him an "excuse" to do or say more. Have a couple of guy friends or male relatives there but tell them they should not get involved unless he becomes physical and then they should only restrain him. I would not talk in the apartment but outside somewhere (maybe a park?) where other people are about, that way nothing in the apartment will be damaged (at that time, anyway, so he can't blame any damage on your friends).

The fact that his name is on the lease means he can kick you out so in the future, don't let your lust get in the way of being rational and protecting yourself legally. You either moved in too quickly before you had a chance to 'really' get to know him or you totally ignored warning signs that he was abusive.

Hopefully you will learn from this experience and take your time to really get to know someone in the future before getting too involved with them. After all, your life is in the balance if you don't use the wisdom God has given you to survive.

Watch your back at all times and make sure you keep windows and doors locked at all times whether you are home or not (that includes your car). Get timers for your lights so you don't enter a dark home and see if the apt mgmt will install a motion detector light if your front door is outside. Be sure and carry pepper spray with you when you are coming and going and by all means, report any problems with him to the police. Make a report on any harassment, stalking or physical abuse so there is a file on him and the police know what is going on and if necessary, get a restraining order. Make sure you change your phone number(s) and get an unlisted number for the apartment ~ be selective in who you give it to and make sure they know it is NOT to be given to anyone without your permission.

Good luck to you and be careful, especially once you get away from him.

I am not really sure cause I am only a 14 year old girl all I can say leaveing him is the right decsion

Definitely get out NOW!! To not stay in such a environment. I would go and talk to the leasing group tell them the situation and then go from there. GOOD LUCK!!!!

I would stick it out until the next fight. Pick one if you have to. When he throws things or yells at you, call the cops. They can make him leave. Once you have a police report you take that to the leaseing office and they can ban him from the complex. If you leave then you run the chance of forfitting all of your things.

Unfortunately theres nothing you can do if your name is on the release other than to pay what they ask to get out of it. could be alot. Then arrange for him to be gone for the day, take everything you bought and thats yours out of the apartment and put it in a warehouse and then move on. An abusive relations is not good to stay in. and the longer you stay in it the harder it is to get out of.

If his name is on the lease ... then your best bet is to try to get the leasing office to work with you ... and leave him to his own devices ...

I am sorry that you have had this experience.

First and foremost, protect your well being. Material things mean nothing if you are hurt over them or worse yet, maimed or killed. Your priority is your well being.

Secondly, if need be, retain an attorney and have them advise him that you are moving out and there will be movers over to get ALL of your material goods. If any are missing, damaged or stolen, he WILL be prosecuted.

Last, do not tell him yourself, or if you are alone. He will react angrily. I have seen it time and time again. Be aware that what you have seen may be nothing to whats coming IF you are alone with him when you tell him. After he is told, do NOT put yourself in ANY position to be in the place alone with him. Protect your wellbeing.

Good luck, make common sense and logical choices to protect yourself. He isnt well and you need to proceed with that in mind.

The same way he won't leave because his name is on the lease and says it's his, that's the same way YOU leave with everything you bought, go to another apartment, and watch him try to make ends meet without you. If he won't let you take YOUR things, wait to go to court like you said and there's no way you can lose because you bought EVERYTHING.

So pack up and leave. You KNEW he couldn't support himself, you KNEW he was verbally abusive. You KNEW he got physically abusive. You KNEW he had nothing to bring to the table. Yet you chose to shack up with him anyway because you thought he was a "nice guy".
Move today. And if your name is on the existing leave, be prepared to pay rent on that place too when he can't come up with the money.
The system views this as your choice to move in with a man-- you won't get much sympathy, but you might eventually get your things back. Also, you might be in trouble for not giving him a 30 days notice and breaking a lease, so don't be too quick to call on the "system".

If his name is on the lease, you can't force him out. You will have to move and discuss with the aprtment manager if you can get your name off the lease, you may have to pay a fee. Depending on their rules, you may not be able to take your name off and regrdless if you live there or not, you will be responsible for for the lease and payment of it until it is up.

You can also consider relationship counseling to work on how you two disagree instead of throwing the relationship away.

As far as the items in the home, as long as you have receipts and can prove you paid for the items, you will have no issues getting them back in your posession. If you do have to go to court over it, do not bring your personal issues into it - your reasons for leaving have no bearing on the case, there is no reason to bring it up to the judge.

GET AWAY FROM HIM AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!!! Is you're name on the lease too? if it is talk to the and se if it can be taken off if they don't let you keep it. Also it would probably be bad to live near him especially if he can be abusive whether its phyical or verbal they both have tramatic effects on you that is how my ex-husband was and I've been gone from him for almost 10 yrs. and there are times I won't tell my bf the truth about something because I remember how the ex used to do me

If his name is on the lease, then he is legally allowed to stay there as long as the rent is paid and there are no violations of the lease agreement. Your only option, if you do not want to be with him any more, is to move. The major drawback to that is, if your name is also on the lease and he trashes the place you are just as legally and financially rersponsible as he is. Talk to the apt manager and let them know the situation. They may let you remove your name from the lease, but they may also require some kind of payment to do so.
If he is barely making ends meet now, then he will lose the place soon after you move out, and if your name is still on the lease you are obligated to honor the lease agreement.

please check with your broker,some lease are made to be broken. explain the situation,they can't make you live with some one that is abusive. this is just the beginning,GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE. TRUST ME

If he is becoming abusive then you are doing the right thing. If you are on the least then you can not break it without penalty and maybe credit damage. If he can't make ends meet now then he won't be able to make it meet when you leave so that may be leverage for you to stay in the apartment. i have found that it is best to not attack people with words or actions. I mean don't say things to him, don't argue back, leave when one forms. Find out if you are on the lease as a leasee or occupant. If he hits you then call the police. don't provoke arguments just do what needs to be done to create a safe enviornment for you.

This is an example of why you live together before you get married--what if you were married and in this situation? Anyway, leave. And don't be one of those women who keeps going back to the same loser over and over because he "changed." There are other fish in the sea.

Is your name on the lease too? If so, it is a good idea to talk to the leasing office. I'm sure they have dealt with this type of thing before.
Your boyfriend is trying to be controlling by not leaving, esp since he knows he can't afford the place on his own. I'm sure as soon as you are out, he will be too. He just doesn't think you'll leave.
Rent a Uhaul. Pack up whatever is yours, and nothing more, and move out.

people so quick to give up on relationshps becuz of one big argument you probably saw those things before you all moved in together but overlooked i hate Judge Judy but she is right when she says look deep before you leap