This is the start of a story I have just began- please tell me what you think of it!?

Chapter 1


That鈥檚 That. My life is definitely over this time. I鈥檓 fired. Great way to start the year. Ok well maybe I should have stopped after 鈥渟hut up you lot鈥?and ignored them. But at the time all I wanted to do was prove a point! They always pick on me! Well at least I know that this time it wasn鈥檛 entirely my fault鈥︹€?br>
Well it all started at the office (the crappy estate agent) why did I even accept the job there? Oh yeah. Because I had no job and faced eviction from my flat because I hadn鈥檛 come up the rent and I needed the money desperately. Come on, everyone has that problem once in their life! Or twice.
Anyway we were all working (well in my case doodling in my note pad- but then again everything else that I was supposed to be doing involved getting up from my desk and walking somewhere distant near the customers) and one of my now ex -colleges pointed out VERY rudely that when ever our boss came near I quickly busied myself by going to get a coffee or popping off to the loo. Actually I only did it because I stayed he would ask me an embarrassing question about how much work I鈥檇 done in the past few days (by that he would mean forever). And plus he鈥檚 such a geek and a nerd I鈥檓 not even sure if he鈥檚 even had a girlfriend before.
So he asked me 鈥淜atie, do you fancy Mr Shelton?鈥?The nerve of this man! This is the point where I should have ignored him and carried on with my 鈥渨ork鈥? But as I usually do I lost my temper, stood up (not noticing that our boss was walking into the office as I started to shout exactly what I thought of this man)
鈥?NEVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE WOULD I FANCY THAT COMPLETE AND UTTER GEEK! HE HAS PROBABLY NEVER HAD A GIRLFRIEND AND NEVER WILL! HE IS THE UGLIEST, WEIRDEST, NERDIST MAN I HAVE EVER MET- IN FACT I鈥橫 NOT EVEN SURE IF HE IS ACTUALLY A MAN!鈥?with that I proudly ended my speech (and any further career in estate agency). Then it was like one of those classic film moments when I realized that he was standing behind me as I slowly turned round to face him. Of course then there just had to be the awkward silence.
Then I was just too embarrassed to speak. My face quickly becoming as red as red could ever be I scooped up my coat and bag and walked out the door ignoring the snorts and hidden laughter coughs of everyone else in the office.
So that was my job. Who am I kidding that was all my fault! Why couldn鈥檛 I just of kept my mouth shut? So now I鈥檓 in my flat which is too big for me with three bedrooms too many (it was the only one available at the time) with no idea what to do now to stop being evicted and begging my sister to help who I hate and if I do I just no she鈥檒l laugh at me and slam the door in my face.




ok thats all I can fit so please tell me what you think of it!
thanks :-)

I really like this. Keep going!! :)

This is really funny and good. I hopee you can post some more! The character is already loveable. WOW! That was really good!

Wow!

I really like it.

But I have just one thing:

With all the 'Well"s, and ''Anyway''s, it really sounds like a diary entry. I'm only saying that because I have never read a book with this kind of voice that isn't a diary. I mean, MY dairy sounds like that! Lol.

But I really, really like it. Instead of POSTING more, work on it and get it published! :-)

I hope I helped!

It was great