Would you consider this an overreaction?

I caught the office manager /payroll person on my husbands job throwing herself at him . She was against him , with her face 6 inches from his , and talking to him in an intimate way . Up close and personal . He was going to her house occasionally to do "side" jobs. She's single and looking . He claimed she is a co-worker only. On my jobs I would never be allowed to get "on" another co-worker like she was "on" him . To top it off , he did nothing to push her off of him , all he did was make sure she knew I was there by pointing repeatedly in my direction till she finally got it . To top that off , the job has not been lucrative for the past year . As in the pay dropped by half . We have had a difficult time paying rent for this whole year . But he refused to look for another job . So when all this happened , I said "co-worker my a**". I then demanded that he never go to her house again and that he look for another job . He says the only reason he has a new job is because I overreacted.

It makes me angry when people say that a woman is to blame when her man plays . She should look at what she isn't giving him . I'm 55 yrs. old and showing my age . my husband is 49 .We've been together 15 yrs. This woman is 30 and a hard body . She had on a totally see through top , she was on her off day .You could see her nippies through it , and she was shaking them at him, before she approached him . Any house work cooking , laundry etc. is done by me . I make my husbands lunch every day even though he gets up at 4 am and I don't have to . I'm always there for him . I take care of him .But what I can't do is be 20 years younger . That's the only draw I can see . Outside of that , she's just a player and different from me .I'm blonde and true . She's a brunette and a chippie .

Totally inappropriate. You did not overreact, if what you say is accurate. A married man, or women, should never put themselves in a position where there may be "perceived" infidelity. That is one of the keys to a happy marriage.

I would think that if they cut his pay in half, he would look for another job.

Doesn't sound like an overreaction to me...how would he feel if he caught you in the same situation, eh?

sounds reasonable to me. i may have gone further than that

hope he snaps out of it. good luck

The way YOU tell it, it was not an over-reaction
I'd like to hear how he tells this same story, however.

i'm with ya sista!
sounds fishy to me.
he needs to stop seeing her and get a new job. i would have reacted JUST like you did.

in fact, i probably wouldn't have been quite as nice!:)

You handled it better then I would have. He and she would have had to call the cops to get me off them....lol

no, you didnt overreact...i would ahve acted the same way.

I think you were within reason. My question would be why did he not over react? I believe the answer would be as it always is... "I loved the attention from some one new." Unfortunately we are all guilty of this however it does not deem it necessary to respect yourself or your partner. He needs a reality check and realize he better disrespect you before its too late and your gone...
TaTa~~~

You did not overact honey. You saw what was going on and called him on it! Good for you!!!! You're my hero!

cheater- you don't go to another coworker house for sidejobs!!
plus if he never pushed her off him when you were right there imagine what he's going when he's alone with her

Aw. This is a rough spot to be in. I would take things slow. Work it out. To me, there seems to be an underlying problem that you are trying to put your finger on....what seems most likely is.....

I don't think you overreacted at all. In fact as a woman I have found it much more affective to go right to the source. Bypass him and calmy speak with her. I have done this several times. Sucks that I have had to do it but sometimes going to the person who is "all over" your B/F or husband is a more direct way to approach the situation. Then she is aware you are "in the know".
Just my two cents

Hope it all works out.

This is what you do call the owner boss whatever let them know the situation and get them both fired they both will have to get new jobs no matter if they want to or not.

I totally disagree with him. You did not overreact. When she was in his face, he should've told her to back off or at least walk away. The fact that he has to point to you for her to back off is sad. He should've stepped up to the plate and be a man. And to make you feel "guilty" for making him get a new job because of you is complete rubbish.

I would have set that b*tch and him on fire.

Oh honey you handled this good. I would have beat both there A**S. You are by no means over reacting. This is your husband and the sl*t has no right to do that to your man!! Your husband should have told her he was married and to leave him alone. I think you should be mad at him as well. Have a talk with him and tell himhow you feel.

You're not over reeacting. He must think you're an idiot and is treating you as such. You have every right to demand he not see her again, and if you are worth more to him than she is, he will honor your request.

Def. not an overreaction. Thank goodness he got a new job, but did you ever find out what really happened with the "coworker"?
Good luck and no your didn't overreact

No over-reaction! He was extremely disrespectful to you! Your husband should NEVER fraternize with a woman, period!

If I was in your shoes I would have demanded that he find a new job or I would be gone. He has to make a choice about who he is with (you or the b**ch). You should not put up with this!

I would also check to see if he was still in contact with her. Is he finding a new "co-worker" to cuddle-up with at work?

Sorry, but you married a scum bag! He's blaming you for his actions! He isn't wanting to face up to the fact that he got caught with his "hand in the cookie jar."

I would check his pay stub. I wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't giving her the missing half.

He surely can't be complaining about a better job.

If I caught my man in that situation I wouldn't be with him today. That is uncalled for and for him not to push her away knowing you are standing there would be an eye opener for me. You have plenty of reason to overreact. How would he feel if he came to your job and saw some man against you like that, or how would he feel if you made "house calls". I'm sure he wouldn't have been to thrilled either. Good Luck to you .

YOU DID NOT overreact! They are both lucky that is all you did was forbid him to go to her house and change jobs!
It was completely inappropriate behavior on BOTH of their parts. And who in their right mind would struggle financially when your income has been cut in HALF. I think the handwriting is on the wall in this situation. And I'm not sure if just making him change jobs is really going to solve the problem. The only thing it will be is a little less convenient.
Do not let him guilt trip you into you being the bad guy, you aren't! Stand up for yourself and demand some changes and explanations be made. You deserve to be treated better then this.

the only thing I would say is that you can't DEMAND him to do or not do anything, you aren't his mother; with that said, what a creep he is for allowing that to go on.........he should have been looking for another job anyway.....

I think he is probably Boinking her and that is why he won't try to find a new job...... Go to the HR department where he works and tell them what is going on.... I'm sure they have a policy against it!

I would have walked up to her and gotten in her face, maybe kicked her a** all over the office.
I don't think it is over reacting.. If there was nothing going on he would have no problem changing jobs.
And if he loves you he should do anything in his power to make you and keep you happy.. crap your his wife

WOW.... what if another man had himself ON you? Shoes never fit the same way. I think they are both lucky they are still alive..... I would probably be ON her after I walked up. No, not probably, most definitely.

The only reason I can think to give him the benefit of the doubt is that he (like many men) are just not assertive when it comes to letting down members of the opposite sex -- it's awkward and they don't want to hurt feelings. We always want them to say: "Get off me! Stop! I'm taken! Stand back, crazy woman I would never in a million years be attracted to!"

But it don't go down like that... (And, btw, that really bugs me too!)

Maybe he was flattered but not considering acting on it. Still frustrating, but it warrants further discussion, not demands. (They never respond to ultimatums and demands. We, as women, must always be craftier than that when we want something...)

But if your feelings are hurt (and no, you are never overreacting when your feelings are hurt -- you are simply reacting, period) then you should tell him, in as non-agressive and accusatory way as possible: "Look. It really bothers me. It makes me feel like you don't care about my feelings or care about our finances or respect me and our marriage when you act this way."

The whole man excuse of "nothing happened" is not enough -- let him know that you feel disrespected -- offer the possibility that maybe that's not his intention, but be that as it may, even with the best of intentions, feelings still get hurt and people get slighted. If he can really hear your concerns you might be surprised by what comes back. He may have insecurities about work or about your relationship. He might have unexpressed frustrations about his finances and his ability to take care of his household. It would seem like a no-brainer to get another job, but he might be scared. People get scared of change -- even change for the better.

Bottom line: Get to the root of things. Through honesty and openness. You're worth it!!!

I don't think you overreacted. I think he was up to some hanky panky or thinking about it. Many years ago, I was somebody's piece on the side. He called me his "bliss station" because we had fun together(not only sex) and didn't have all the baggage with running a household(jobs, $$, cleaning, kids).
I would suggest making him feel special. Men are much more simple than we are. I heard Doctor Laura say "if your husband's not horny, make him a sandwich." If you cook him tasty food, give him plenty of enthusiastic sex and support him in his job & interests, it will pay off. He will respond likewise.
I've been married for 10 years now & so far, so good. I always remember my younger, naughty days with a married man & try to be my husband's "bliss station."

I think you already know the answer to this question.

No, you're not overreacting. Not in the least. And you're not stupid. But with all of this in mind, don't you think you should find out what it was that he was getting from this that he wasn't getting at home? I know that's probably the last thing from your mind right now because you're probably pissed about all of this. But either you try to make it work or you ditch the guy. If you're trying to make it work then find out what he wants and see if it is within reason to provide it. You'll both be happier if you two can figure this thing out.

Good luck.

sounds suspicious..I don't think you overreacted...