When if ever is it okay to use the "N" word even if only in thought?

I'm not a racist person but I am gay. I hear gay jokes and slander almost daily, in life&television. I define N as someone who is extremely rude or inconsiderate of others. I have never called anyone the N word in my life. Well, we have a neighbor (Aprt) who is a african-american male about 45 yrs old. He blares his music, sometime 8-10 hours a day even past midnight at times. I spoke to him about it and he told me to:let him know when it's too loud. I shouldn't have to tell him anything he's old enough to know better, and at midnight, please! I told the leasing office of his noise, they did little and his noise has continued. Well, just now I called him N in my mind. Why am I having conflicting issues about calling him that, even though it was in my mind only? People joke about gays all the time, why is that okay? But yet I feel bad because I thought this Afr-Amer was a N. People think ill of gays all the time & its fine but think of a AfrAmer as a N & you've wronged them.

PLZ I'm not saying you should call people names or think ill things of all people based on race/sexual preference/etc.........I'm not defending racism.

They call themselves that all the time. Therefore, so can anyone else. When they have enough self respect to stop calling themselves that, then it will be time for others to stop.
Until then, they have no right to say it's wrong.

EDIT: Hey Miriam, zip it. I live in a LARGE black community in the South, and I have for ten years. I hear it every single day, it is the NORM, it is not the exception to the rule. So drop your politically correct bull, some of us out here know better because we happen to LIVE here.

you made a highly intelligent statement and you made a truly
good point.
i agree, just as no one should use racist words regarding
someones race, no one should use bad words or say
bad things if someone happens to be gay. point well made
and point well taken, happy holidays to you!

You are a perfect example of what some blacks think. They think there are whites out there just itching to call them a "n".


Next time, call the cops. I agree that you shouldn't have to tell another adult that their music is loud but if you call the cops enough, maybe the leasing office will take note of a police report.

I feel like people just keep making up all these excuses just so they can use the word. First of all, you will always meet people who are stupid and rude. It's not because he's black, it's because he's human, and an individual. To Julia, stop using that as an excuse. I don't know how many time black people have to tell you all this but NOT EVERYONE uses that word just like NOT EVERYONE makes fun of gay and lesbian people. I don't really care. If you want to call him the N word and make up excuses for it then go ahead. But it's not going to make him turn down the volume, nor will it make anyone who uses it a better person.

Miriam: I live in ghetto, and i hear it on everyday basis when young blabk kids or black guys called each other "N" word, but when white person says that word all of them think about discrimination LOl...that is freaking double standard same as at ny given black community. so you better think twice befpre posting non sense.

I know you or any black person won't like my answer , so you can thumb me down or even report, but its reality.

I think it is never appropriate to slander others, however I do note the inconsistencies within the world community. We all have to be "politically correct" to "not offend" others. One thing, we (as a society) make fun of multiple groups of people that are different than the so-called norm. Well, why can those groups use the same jokes, comments, remarks, etc. as society would, but when the group uses them, why do they not have a problem with it.
Your case in point is how those of the African-American community often use the term "N*****" when speaking w/one another. Yet it is unacceptable for other races to use it in reference to them. I feel that if some can't use the terms, then none should, or reflexive of that - if some can use it, then why not the rest of society?
As to your pivotal question - everybody has thoughts that are inconsistent w/society and even w/their personality (or themselves). Just because I think certain politicians should be deader than a door-nail, doesn't mean I am going to have them assassinated. Our thoughts are extremely hard to control (try not to think of a pink-elephant for 2 minutes, starting now... ) Thoughts come and go or frequently reoccur, however it is our actions which define us. If you were to use the "N" word verbally against him in a derogatory manner, then we may have some big problems.
Thinking things is okay, but acting on those thoughts can be good or bad, depending on the situation.
I hope this response helps in some way. If not, alas.

anytime you want to.i do and don't give a damn what anyone thinks. by the way i'm a proud white citizen who believes in seperatism