My day going horrible.
It was a normal day, the sun hid behind the thick clouds high in the sky. The air was mild, signalling the departure of summer and the nearing of autumn. Cars drove through the large, black, distinguished gates of the Thomas Deacon Academy. The air was filled with the familiar chattering and banging of car doors as the pupils and teachers casually made their way towards the school entrance. I too made my way towards the entrance, adjusting my blazer.
As I was about to open the door I felt a firm grip on my shoulder. Startled, I spun around and my eyes met his eyes. Staring at me coldly was the head teacher. My heart began to beat rapidly , and soon it was pounding. Finally he spoke in his usual stern tone.
鈥淎bbas, were your tie?鈥?br>
My mouth was completely dry as I struggled to reply.
鈥淟eft it in the car, Sir鈥?br>
鈥淢eet me after school at my office. Now go in鈥?He finished ushering me inside.
Disappointedly, I walked inside the school doors and into the vast space. As usual, I climbed the stairs and entered my college area. I was about to make my way there until my friend, Issian, stopped me. He looked quite excited.
鈥淎bbas are you coming to football after school?" he hastily asked.
For a moment I didn鈥檛 know what he was meaning. Then it all came to me - I had totally forgotten about the football tournament final I had been practising for all week. To add insult to injury, I had forgotten my P.E. kit.
鈥淥h no! I totally forgot!鈥?I replied in dismay.
鈥淵ou...you forgot!鈥?he barked. 鈥淵ou鈥檝e let me down! You were our main striker and you have to play! Why don鈥檛 you get your P.E kit? Phone home!鈥?br>
I nodded my head knowing no-one was at home and it wasn鈥檛 possible. I walked away, leaving my friend shocked, angry and disappointed. I had lost a friend. I had let my team down, and I wasn鈥檛 going to be able to turn up.
My day had gone horribly wrong. First I received a detention with my headmaster, and then lost my friend because I couldn鈥檛 play for the team! Surely my day couldn鈥檛 get any worse.
Period three kicked off slowly, much like the rest of the day. What was minutes felt like hours? I mostly spent my time staring blankly at the small white clock on the classroom wall, watching it take in every tick, and breathe out every tock.
The next set of events occurred before I even knew what was happening. At first I felt slightly dizzy, the next thing I knew the whole school was shaking. The air filled with screams, as the teacher attempted to shout to gain control. In the confusion I rushed out of the room and down the stairs, quickening my stride. I held the banister tightly as I hurriedly sped my way down the shaking stairs. My heart was pumping as if it was trying to escape my ribs. In the total chaos and panic I lost my footing. The world around me turned darker and darker. With a cry of fright, I blacked out. I'm confused about why you sometimes write strangely: "My day going horrible," "Were your tie?" I guess that means "Where is your tie?" Etc.
If this is an assignment of some sort, I think you could fix it up. Your basic idea is OK. But what's going on at the end? Dude I dont want to read all this Hi, I didn't read the whole thing but it looks creative. What you could do is get a private blog and invite no more than 100 of your closest friends to read it for feedback.
Not to be mean, but I've noticed that these Yahoo questions and answers end up online for a long time and on other sites, with people making money off of the words we write here on Yahoo.
From experience, blogging privately on Yahoo is a tricky thing. Google's Blogger has a great way for you to do this and invite your closest friends (up to 100...it's okay, and probably better if you only trust 2 people...it can be private, and when you invite them, they can only access with gmail accounts for up to 30 days.)
Respect your work and your words and go with your gut. You're obviously a good writer, and you need to respect yourself for it.
Here's a link to let you know how to set up a private Blogger blog. My day was going horrible.
It was a normal day, the sun hid behind the thick clouds high in the sky. The air was mild, signaling the departure of summer and the nearing of autumn. Cars drove through the large, black, distinguished gates of the Thomas Deacon Academy. The air was filled with the familiar chattering and banging of car doors as the pupils and teachers casually made their way towards the school entrance. I too made my way towards the entrance, adjusting my blazer.
As I was about to open the door I felt a firm grip on my shoulder. Startled, I spun around and my eyes met his. Staring at me coldly was the head teacher. My heart began to beat rapidly, and soon it was pounding. Finally he spoke in his usual stern tone.
鈥淎bbas, were is your tie?鈥?br>
My mouth was completely dry as I struggled to reply.
鈥淟eft it in the car, Sir鈥?br>
鈥淢eet me after school at my office. Now go in.鈥?He finished ushering me inside.
Disappointedly, I walked inside the school doors and into the vast space. As usual, I climbed the stairs that led to my college area. I was about to make my way there until my friend, Issian, stopped me. He looked quite excited.
鈥淎bbas are you coming to football after school?" he hastily asked.
For a moment, I didn鈥檛 know what he meant. Then it all came to me - I had totally forgotten about the football tournament final I had been practicing for all week. To add insult to injury, I had forgotten my P.E. kit.
鈥淥h no! I totally forgot!鈥?I replied in dismay.
鈥淵ou...you forgot!鈥?he barked. 鈥淵ou鈥檝e let me down! You were our main striker and you have to play! Why don鈥檛 you get your P.E kit? Phone home!鈥?br |
