MEN: Do I ASK him if he needs space, or just give him space?

For the Men: Should I ask him if he needs space?
ve been dating this guy for 4 months now. Right now he's very wrapped up in physical training for a new job (state police) while still working a regular office job. He is very focused on his training because he hates his current job so much. I've been very very understanding of his commitment towards this, but it's getting to the point where I feel like I'm bothering him every time I call or email.
My question is... Do I ask him if he needs space, or do I just back off without having that discussion? I think I'm afraid that if I give him too much space, he'll think I'm not interested anymore, but I don't want to seem like I'm nagging by having that discussion. Give me your thoughts... (we're both adults, this isn't a teenage situation)

My question isn't whether or not he needs space, but how do I approach it? Talk to him first, or just do it?

Been there done that. He is is extrememly busy and he wants to do something with his future (you should be glad especially if this makes him happy and he plans on staying with you). In the meantime, let him know you are still there for him if he needs you. Then find something to pre-occupy yourself with, take a new class and get physical yourself. You 'can wait' for him to call you when he has time. A good talk would be great. Just find out where you both stand and let him know how you feel and tell him you are proud of him for doing something to better his future. Guys need verbal affirmation that they are doing good and like to know they have our support. However, you do realize that long term...that being a State police is quite challenging for relationships and it takes a very strong partner to walk the path with one.

Ask. he will appreciate your concern.

Ask him first, he may like your calls even if it doesn't seem like it. And he may think you're losing interest. The next time you're talking with him about his training and such. Just ask him if you should slow down on the calls and give him space. You may not be bothering him so talk to him about it.

Im not a man, but im dying to answer this question. It seems to me that he has a lot of other things going on in his life. Its important to give a man space, and it sounds like he could use a little. BUT that doesnt mean ignore him completely or be resentful. It just means maybe not calling so much or asking to go places when you know he may be tired. you can do little things like that without talking to him. if he loves you, he'll make up the difference.

Tell him that you are giving him space during this tough time.

Ask first. Guys are just to proud to let it be your idea, and it looks like you are smart enough to figure that out......yes, behind every good man there is probably a better woman.
Good luck

Don't ask just give it to him.

just do it! would make him notice you in a dramatic way. then you could say" I was giving you space then go on about the way you feel from his treatment and soforth. he wil soothe your achy breaky heart :)

maybe he don'tneed space,he may like your e-mails and such b/c you're showing him that you care and support him.

Critical question.

Have you guys been intimate?

If so, leave him alone he's not interested.
If not, give him space gradually and he'll appreciate you understanding and not having to go through the entire song and dance.

If you back off and he still wants you, you'll be the one that still being pursued, which is what men want. Chase him down and nag him, you'll become a stalker.

You definitely want to talk about this. True, he is under a lot of pressure, and you should offer him the space he asks for.

I might suggest that you do something to show him that you still care, but realize he needs to concentrate on his new job.

Do something like fix supper for him before each time he goes to the gym. Offer to wash his clothes, and put a sweet note in one of his pockets. Do something that will save him time, but keep you in contact with him.

If he dumps you later, then you did a friend a favor while they were in need. If he keeps you in his heart, then your efforts paid off. What goes around comes around.

just talk to him...communication is #1 in any relationship

Just give him the space. If he feels that you are pulling away and he cares about you then he will pull you closer.