Ay i wrote this story and want to know if it is crap or good, i havnt finished yet and only at the start.....?

The light hadn鈥檛 even officially turned green yet at the intersection on Canion Street before the deadly yellow taxi cabs could rush past me like a joy-ride, 鈥淎rr lets move it people!鈥?I keep saying to myself as I took yet another sip of my coffee that tasted foul and out of date.
Finally after thirty eight minutes of living hell, the street lights finally turned green and the traffic was flowing in no time, It was bad enough that I was running late for work but I had to get home and baby-sit for my sister, Lucy鈥檚 evil child that always has to chuck a rubber duck at my face and laugh while I have to sit there and whip the blood that drips into my eyes.
I can see my work from here now and it is only about 100 meters away,
I slowly pull my car into a car space with out doing any of my natural road rage.

鈥淒amn girl where the heck have you been?鈥?Milly said as she propped open a bag of chips and laid heavily down on her desk chair as if she was going to be there for a very long disturbing time,
鈥淧lease don鈥檛 tell me that Jillian鈥檚 here?鈥?I said while biting the top of my pen like a 3 year old going to primary for the first time.
Well I guess this is your bad day because she arrived an hour ago and kept asking for you, so if I was you I would quickly go and talk to her before she has your head鈥?
As I quickly scuttled off I rushed to her office and sat down before she could sharpen her knife and slit my throat with disgrace,
鈥淲ell?鈥?Jillian said looking at me with dead set eyes, 鈥業m very sorry but I was stuck in traffic and it took me forever to get here鈥?I replied with a convincing voice,
鈥榊ou know very well that when I call you and tell you that I need you, that you should be here in a second.鈥?She looked at me and sat back down while she made a long groaning sound, 鈥渕iss I鈥檓 sorry and it will never happen again, I swear.鈥?br>
Jillian and I did not have a very close relationship, well not a relationship at all I guess because more the point that I鈥檓 less trustworthy than any other people I know,
I went to her house once and it was very organized and perfectly ordered by numbers and letters for nearly everything, Don鈥檛 ask why I was there because it is a shame enough that I still remember the chamber house of the devil.

鈥淥kay I wont be long, oh and girls don鈥檛 have to much fun,鈥?Lucy slammed the door in a hurry to get herself out before me and her daughter could start a brall in a second,
鈥淯mm are you hungry?鈥?I asked her, but she did not reply, 鈥榳ill you atleast talk to me?鈥?I said as I pushed a bowl of soup in front of her chin, 鈥榳ell least I wont have any troubles of ducks in my face then.鈥?I said while walking down the hall way giggling into my bedroom.
As I picked up all my dirty clothes that hadn鈥檛 been washed for a century and placed them in the washing basket to finally get some water in them,
I replied my red lipstick to my dull coloured lips and put a little shimmer in the inside so that I look like I can at-least afford three dollars on my face, I looked in my mirror and closed my eyes as I hear the filthy little twerp downstairs going through my stuff.

i didn't care for it as coffee isn't out of date and foul and why would any sane person wait 38 mins at a stoplight and blood and a yellow duckie i quit after that part it just didn't do nothing for me

it's kind of boring sorry.

can't really judge ur story right now. but so far its quite okay,
have fun writing story:D good luck

It's not all that bad (come on, people, lighten up!). I like the fast paced, crabby first person narrator and the details of city and work life. Things an editor and/or a writers' critique group will squawk about: passive verbs (those are forms of "to be" : "is," "was," "will," etc. Use active verbs. "The light finally turned green after 25 minutes and the deadly yellow taxicabs rushed past me like a joy-ride." Something like that. Also...keep your verb tense consistent. You started out in the present and switched to the past tense with no reason (like a flashback) to do so. Clean up your spelling and punctuation and remove repetitive descriptions and comments. It's not a bad story; just a first draft of an unfinished story. It has every right in the world to be crummy looking before you finish and polish it.

The light hadn鈥檛 turned green at the intersection on Canion Street before the taxi-cabs could rush past me as if on a joy-ride. 鈥淎rr, lets move it people!鈥?I kept saying as I took yet another sip of coffee that tasted like an old ash tray.
After an eternity of living hell, the street light finally turned green and traffic was flowing.

(Which is the character doing, going to work or going to baby-sit?)
It was bad enough that I was running late for work but I had to get home and baby-sit for my sister Lucy鈥檚 evil child who always has to chuck a rubber duck at my face and laugh while I sit there and wipe the blood from my eyes. (A rubber duck breaks the skin??)

I can see my work. It is only about 100 meters away as
I slowly pull my car into a car space. (why would you have road rage while parking?) with out doing any of my natural road rage.

The story doesn't grab the reader's attention. It is too wordy. You have a lot of filler words. Don't add words just to add an adjective unless it adds more meaning to the story or gives the reader a clearer picture. For example: you don't need to describe the color taxi-cab yellow to the reader. We can all see that color in our minds.

Check your sentence structure and tense. Do some self-editing.

It's not bad, but would be a lot better if u worked on it some more. Something's missing somewhere..

visit
http://allpoetry.com/poem/2120526

Its an ok premise. It needs work. If you decide to continue it remember to show not tell. Instead of telling how Jillian and the narrator's relationship is, show the reader through dialog and action. Instead of telling us the child is a evil brat show us through action. That will make it much more interesting.

"It was bad enough that I was running late for work but I had to get home and baby-sit for my sister, Lucy鈥檚 evil child that always has to chuck a rubber duck at my face and laugh while I have to sit there and whip the blood that drips into my eyes."

First of all- no child is 'evil' and second of all check your spelling. Whip is supposed to be wipe... otherwise, not bad... carry on going... and good luck!!! :-)

If you corrected the lack of tense agreements, poor word usage, bad punctuation, sentence fragments, run-on sentences, incorrect spelling, and other grammatical problems, you might have something. As it is, it's very bad, even if no one else is honest enough to tell you so.