I'll try another one I called "Breath of Sea". Do you like this one or have any (thanks!) suggestions?

come and take a walk with me
down to the raging boundless sea
down to the surf-torn tides and sand
beyond the cliffs to the edge of land

come to the see horizon-bent
carved by the weight of sight and sound
to this pool of life we scarcely know
take my hand and come, let鈥檚 go

dawn breaks the gray-cast wilderness
time moves this restless space beyond
we 鈥?two simple creatures stand
to share the mysteries of our bond

deep in sleep the sea meets sky
where rain is torn with relentless cry
where heavens open unto the night
the source of life beckons the light

we are too of ages told
our first and last meet here as one
oh sea of whispers cry and moan
your pirouette awaits the sun

i clasp your hand in wonderment
the bursting bells and tinkling light
this vast unceasing churning form
is truest true and rightest right

i speak in silence hollow sound
i yearn to cry out 鈥?draw you near
in your mist i find my strength
my love will last another year

Hey Neon! Thanks. You know, it's amazing. You think you're communicating, and you're ambiguous. And the only way to find out is to put it out in from of a critical but sympathetic audience. In S3L1 I'm using "gray-cast" as an adjective; thus the hyphen. In S4L4 I want to beckon to "the light", not to "light". In S5L1 I', saying "we are also"; thus the "too" rather than "two". There may be some hyphen irregularities, but I can't find anything I want to change yet; maybe tomorrow I'll wake up.

This one is amazing. It makes me feel serene. The imagery is flawless...I had a vision in my mind the whole time I was reading this poem.

An excellent read. Great images abound. Minor suggestions: S3L1 do you need a - between gray and cast? S4L4 "beckons to light" instead of "the"? S5L1 two instead of too. You also use hyphens in some other lines not for pause but between words that I don't think you need. Overall, well done. My compliments on this.

lovely

WOW ! I like that! You are a poet!

nice....real sweet :)