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How is a single man without kids dating a single mother supposed to act in a dating relationship...? |
I have been seeing this woman and haven't met her kids yet. I don't dislike children and accept that she's a mother, but it's getting to the point where I feel like I can't win. Concerning anything in our relationship that conflicts with her plans, time, space or anything with her kids and I have no rights. I also feel like I have to be ready to be a husband and step-father just to date her. I love her and am willing to proceed but am feeling pushed by being made to feel like I have no rights when I feel like the kids are being pushed on me. We've only been dating for eight months, so am I being unrealistic or what? If you haven't even met her kids, how are they being pushed on you? Her kids have to be the most important thing in her life right now. You don't have act like their step-father unless you marry her, but you do need to respect that her kids come first and that may interfere with your plans and desires. Maybe you should reserve judgment until after you have met her kids. Maybe she just doesn't feel comfortable including you in their activities because you haven't met yet. Or, it could be that she is protective (and smart!) and wants to see where this relationship is going to go before introducing the kids into it - maybe she is the type that doesn't want her kids getting too attached to someone if she thinks that person may not be around for the long haul. You don't have to be ready to be a husband and step-father in order to date her, and you shouldn't let her make you feel uncomfortable in that respect. You may feel differently after you have met the kids. Or, she may just be the type of person that her kids will always come first and you will always come second, in which case you will have to decide if you can deal with that from here on out. Best of luck to you. |
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