Went to community college after high school. Was miserable and friendless. Mistake. Took second semester off to go backpacking in Australia. Loved it. Came back. Depressed. Future is uncertain, friends have drifted. Want to live on campus in university and experience dorm life but too expensive. Had sudden stroke of genius - live in res at local uni for just one year, just to experience it and meet some people, then move back home for the next three years and hopefully keep res friends. Problem - mom doesn't understand why I don't just live at home and makes me feel guilty about spending so much money for one year. Understandable - but I want that whole experience(plus I live 45 min away from uni). Am I being selfish? Is this incredibly stupid of me? Going to uni for the wrong reasons? But I DO want to learn - I love learning. I miss it. My brain feels dead. I love biology, want to study it. ADVICE?? This question was way WAY longer before there isn't enough space to fit it all. Oh my goodness, I love you people. This is EXACTLY what I needed to hear. I was smiling so much while reading your responses, thank you. I think I'm going to have a discussion with my mother tomorrow and tell her why I think it's worth it to do this, and then STICK to my decision. A student loan is something I've always avoided but might be necessary in this situation. Plus I want to be a dentist so I don't think paying it off will be too much of an issue later on. One thought I had - should I show my mom this? I'm not sure if it's a good idea. Erica - you're on the right track, but the key is to find something you enjoy....
To some extent, community or junior colleges are a lot like "advanced high school". They're really about the classes that you have to take, rather than the classes that you want to take. The 2-year programs are for general education requirements; the English comp, the basic math, the intro to this and the intro to that. Sure, it's more self-motivated, you spend more time outside of the classroom learning on your own than you do in the class listening to the teacher, but it's still a grind to take a whole lot of required courses.
I'm not going to run down the "average" student in a community college here, but it's still true that you get more of a mix in the 2-year schools - some of the students have no intention (and often ability) to go on for additional schooling - they're there because they feel that they're going to need to put in their 2 years to get a halfway decent job. As a consequence, the community college professors need to teach down a little bit, so as to provide an educational atmosphere that is best suited to the broad intellectual and motivational mix of the student body. (It's also a reasonable statement to suggest that junior colleges don't always attract the best and most dynamic faculty.)
When you get to a 4-year school, I think you'll find that the overall intellectual atmosphere of the program is more challenging. Please, understand that I'm not saying that everyone in a university program is a highly motivated genius and everyone in a 2-year is a lowlife dolt, but just in general, the 4-year schools attract the brighter students and the more highly accomplished professors. If you really enjoy the challenge of learning, you'll probably enjoy the collegial atmosphere of a university campus more than you did the community college.
Also, as I started to describe above, once you've completed your "required" general ed courses, a whole world of choices and options opens up to you, as you begin taking more advanced courses in your chosen major. That's why it's important to really give some careful consideration to what interests you - if you're going to be sitting in a lecture hall at 3 in the afternoon listening to a professor describe the complexities of macroeconomics, you'd better be pretty sure that business theory is something that fascinates you!
As for the "on campus" experience - you're right on track with that one, too. Living "away" is one of the most rewarding challenges and experiences of young adulthood, and it prepares you, like nothing else, for the next step of living on your own. Parents sometimes have a hard time accepting that their kids are heading off into that "great big world", but college living provides that safety net where you're on your own, but you're not "alone on your own.". The experience of living in the dorms (or in a nearby apartment) and involving yourself with the whole college culture is an opportunity that only comes around once. Every part of the experience - whether it's hanging out in a college bar, working all night in the library, going to a football game, ordering pizza and drinking humongous pots of coffee while pulling an all nighter - these are defining moments that let you do your own thing without constantly worrying about "the rules" and your parent's expectations. You can't duplicate this experience as a helicopter student - shooting into campus for the day and zooming off when your class is over - besides, typical college schedules have you in class for 2 hours, off for 3, back in class for 2 more - are you going to drive back and forth ad nauseum, or hang out in the library all day, waiting for the next class?
I think you'll find the 4-year school a whole new and exciting experience that will fire up your passion for learning a lot more than the 2-year school did. You'll have opportunities to get involved in all sorts of things that the 2-year school didn't offer - academically (research, access to technology, more challenging classes) and socially, too.
If you're fascinated by biology - take a shot at that as a good initial plan for a major, but also be sure to take some other courses in areas that you hardly know anything about. Maybe you'll discover a passion for a subject matter that you've never even considered - psychology, history, international relations, engineering - who knows?
I think you really need to sit down with your mom and talk about how "going away" is going to help you develop the confidence, the instincts and the survival skills that you're going to need to live on your own. It won't be long now, and mom needs to realize that it's time to push the baby bird from the nest. Going to a nearby college will give you the freedom to spread your wings a bit, but you'll still be close enough so that mom can see plenty of you, and know that you're in a secure environment.
There's nothing wrong with anxieties, there's nothing wrong with uncertainty, there's nothing wrong with having a little bit of trouble convincing mom that it's time to let you experience the world on your own. C'mon, that can't be too hard, considering this is a woman who was willing to trust you to spend an entire semester backpacking in Australia.
Good luck to you. I hope you make all of your dreams a reality. Financial aid may be available to you...don't assume you can't afford to live on campus. In fact, a 1 1/2 hourly daily commute may be more expensive than living on campus. And if you work the 7 hours you'd otherwise be in a car, you'll take home $30 a week to help with expenses.
If necessary, take out a student loan. If you're serious about school, it's worth the expense to live on campus.
You are not being selfish, but your mother may be being shortsighted. |
