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While I was OS, my wife had an affair, we have 4 kids, together 13 years, married 9. Should I give here space?


She say's there is so much going on in her mind that she does not know what she feels. I still love her very much and have said we can put it behind us and move on. She has said that she wants to help this person with his problems, which is how she meet him. So I have let her have some comunication with him, they both assure me it is over. She has not been very warming to me, even thoe I am letting her have a fair bit of freedom. She is now telling me of all the comunications between them. The only thing she will not tell me is if she still loves him. She keeps saying she loves me, but I think she is saying that to keep me happy. In the bedroom, I am getting next to nothing, I have to do alot of ground work just to get a cuddle. I belive her that it is over between them, but I find her actions towards me very off putting. the thought of a trial sparation has crossed my mind, but I feel she will run to him and forget about me as the kids would take my time. HELP, ADVICE.

Sure, give her space--for the rest of her life. How dare she cheat on you while you were gone. And I would never support her continuing to talk and "help" him--you are justifying her affair by doing so. I am so sorry that this happened to you and for the fact that this could have impact on your children as well.

I think a trail separation sounds like a great idea.

However, I'm not sure why either one of you would have to have custody of the children full time.

It would be ideal if the two of you could split/share custody equally. You have the children one week, she has the children the next week, or split up days/weekends, etc.

That way you'll also have the space and time to see about how you feel about this whole situation.

It sounds like you're the victim here. Maybe you need some time away from her to truly realize it.

you need to tell her all this and get her feelings on the matter

Sorry this has happened to you. I know it's scary to let her go and mabey you can work things ou but she violated your trust and it is tim

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