Another short poem , comments please?

The End

When the stars meet the clay
In this wind I will sway
With leaves of grey
All the same
The raven will call my name
And my bare feet
Will greet
And kiss the black land

In my hands grains of golden sand
How it flows though my fingers
In this world to a crawl, it lingers
These empty spaces, void of fate
These silent moments that joy rape

Doesnt have to rhyme .

Um, the rhythm of the first stanza is a little disjointed.
"All the same" shouldn't rhyme with anything, and by having AAA, BB, CC, A, the pattern is out of whack. But 'fate' and 'rape' but don't rhyme together, I'm sorry.
The words themselves are lovely, they paint their own picture, and overall and I think I can feel what you're trying to convey. You have a feeling, and an inner artwork, but the rhyming needs to be worked on.

find a new hobby because that is just a disgrace......gross

well i like it..may not be the strongest but i like it

Go out with your friends.

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