I had to do it, was I right?

Dated a woman, whom some say I hurt, other no. She met this guy on line who used her. After a while, she no longer wants him ( that what she says). I have always told her I loved her. I have always helped her. I know she is upset about what has happened. I'm giving her some space, and Im am there for her. So I call her up at work, I can sense something is bothering her, she says she needs to decide what to do. She than say. I want you as a friend. I tell her ok, can we go out sometimes. She says no. How can you have a male friend, after you dated for two years. Am I there only when she issues with her new bf or kids. I told her we can't be friends. Was I harsh, or is she just upset

Maybe is what Im trying to say, I know it's going to take time to get over what's in her head. I would be a friend to out sometimes. I don't want to be their so she can disuss her kids, or the new guy. Im not their for that. She is to much of a drama queen, She wants her cake and eat it to. She needs to growup

I had male friends after being single for 2.5 years I didnt want a man only becus I had to work on me. But if all she wants is a phone buddy maybe you should respect that. Meanwhile keep in mind shes hurting right now she may come around sometime soon. But just be a friend first and give her time and space. She will realize shes wrong we always do!

Thank for giving me best answer I only gave the advice which was true...

Good luck dear!!! Report It

Maybe because all these times she just saw you as a friend?

you were right

If she doesn't feel any comfortable being with you even just as a friend then move on and find your own way to deal life.You already been nice to her and what you said is fine,you're only being true to her and to yourself.

No you weren't harsh. . .I don't know exactly what she's going through. . .but it seems like she is very confused. . .

You're right. . .exes can never be your friends. . .

I went out with this girl for 3 years. . .and when she broke it off. . .she decided to be friends, but it never worked out. . .I or her either got jealous of our dates. . .our feelings would start coming back. . .etc. . . .so right now. . .I just avoided her because I don't want to feel the pain when I see her. . .

I think you made the right decision. Sounds like she is just using you!!

i am confused. lol. i think you better talk to her. maybe all she needs now is a shoulder to lean on. let her heal first before asking her for a date. just be a friend for now (but that would require a lot of understanding) and when she's ready and finds you still there, maybe she will realize what a big idiot she is and comes back in you arms

just stay as a friend!!! better for you and her!!

I think you should get over her.

You won't be nothing more then a mere friend.

When she finally decide to move on she will just find someone else most likely not you.

Give her space and when she want a friend be there but i wouldn't put much time into it she is emotional.

I would have done the exact same thing. I dated and fell in love with a boy that I work with... and now I have to be friendly with him at work and see him everyday. It's hard. I honestly cannot wait until the day I can quit that place just to get away from him.

If you feel that she only want to be around you and be your friend when she needs advice on her new boyfriends and for you just to be there with her and her kids than she is using you and she says let just be friends and you can't have lunch, yes you did the right thing you don't need a friend like that.

If you feel used you most likely are being used. She might not see it that way, she might say that she cares for you and likes having you there for her, but every relationship needs to go both ways. You want to work on a friendly relationship, she wants you to be available to vent and cry to. This can't go on forever, it will be too much of a drain on you. It's not wrong to ask someone to make a decision and stick with it.

Everybody needs friends , doesn't have to be in a relationship unless it happens. Otherwise have a platonic friendly type of healthy caring for oneanother.
However if you feel that she just making you all the time then you are probably right to tell her so.