My wife wants space?

My wife wants space so she is moving into an apartment. I'm 34 and I was her first bf when she was 21 and we married about 1 year ago. I'm happy to give her space but I wonder if she'll do this again down the road. She keeps saying she has to do what is best for herself - but I don't think she knows that pretty soon I'm going to start doing as well what is best for me. I 34 and have no problem meeting women and am a really nice guy. I think she keeps thinking that because I was her first bf the grass is greener but I just don't know what to do. I could maybe wait a month and then file for divorce. I feel abandoned and hurt - I told her this and she says she is not abandoning me but just wants time to think ? In my books you work the problems out and not do this to someone - I feel like a doormat.

That solves it then - I have an appointment with an attorney on monday and will be filing for divorce. I think in the long run it is best for me.

love..this is gonna sound rough..but if shes saying 'i need space'...what shes really trying to say is,.'i need some space WITHOUT you in it'....dont be with someone just bc its all you know!! let it go with some selfrespect...i promise..better days are ahead..
u cant see things sometimes as the blessing that they are until...its over...this is a blessing......change your way of thinking and u will be fine..i promise.

you're right, she should have thought about space before tying the knot, you can't just toss your husband aside when you FEEL like it because that's not fair. you could be with someone who truly values your time while shes having her space, i say give her a month, and if things don't change then she can have all the space she wants


i agree EMAIL this to her!!

Are there kids involved? Why does she have to go to a "vacation spot." She's looking for an easy way out. Don't let her do it. Have the argument and let her tell you the truth. It might hurt, but it's the truth.

she should be trying to work it out, not moving out 'for a bit.' the whole thing sounds odd. if my husband did that i'd lock the door behind him. maybe you should email this to her?!

Why does she need space? If she loves you she wouldn't need space she would be at home with you trying to work things out. If I were you I would move on and live life for youself and not worry about her at this time. She is treating you like a dog that she can just give away and come back an get if she wants. You should tell her she can have her space but your not going to sit around and wait for her. Your going to live your life and if you move on you move on and if you don't you don't. Don't let her take advantage of you.

give her the space,women are always thinking about themselves..Inform her that there is no longer a I..You are know a team and there is only we...If shse does not understand this than yes,she sure is going to be doing this over and over down the line..But give her space,if she beleives there is someone that could treat her better then let her beleive that..You cant stop a person from filling a certain way,but you can help a person see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Hi, I am so sorry.

Let her go. If you beg her to stay and she does, you may be ok with it, but her doubt will linger. This is a classic case of "If you love someone, let them go". She needs to decide once and for all if you are the person she is going to spend her life with, and you can't coax her into choosing you.

If you really love her, you are jumping the gun by planning when to file for divorce. It seems to me that or the question of meeting other women would not come up yet. It seems like you BOTH are hedging your bets.
Good luck.

Geesh, why don't you guys just explore an option of having an open marriage? Look up your local swingers club or something.

Sounds like she is using you as a fall back. She wants space - what for? Is she seeing if life could be better out on her own? And then holding you in the shadows to fall back on if life is not as great as she thought?

You are suppose to be ready for marriage and not need space apart. It is not good for any marriage to do this as absence does not make the heart grow fonder. You cannot work out problems in a marriage if you are not even living together.

Does this "space" include her seeing other men? Does she care if you see other women?

Personally I think you should tell her that you love her and want to make a life with her but if she can't say the same she might as well sign a long term lease on that apartment.

You should then file for a divorce and get on with your life and find someone who things you are the green grass on both sides of the fence!

Good Luck

ask her her reasons for wanting the space. you cant fix it if you dont know whats broken

It really sounds like you have a problem. First thing that goes through my mind is what does she have to think about ? Your marriage? Or what? I would be asking that question to her first! I realize she is pretty young but she still made this commitment of marriage to you and this does not mean that she can leave and get an appartment because she needs room to think. It sounds like something else is going on to me. It sounds like she is wondering whether to leave you all together or she has another man in mind. I am sorry to say that but no woman just wants to walk out like that without something like this on her mind. You better confront her and get it out of her once and for all so you do not have to wonder why she is doing this! I do not believe she just wants to think and needs some space! Tell her she should not expect you to just sit and wait till she figures out what she wants. Tell her you have feelings too and demand that she come home or you are filing for a divorce. Tell her she should be able to work things out with you instead of without you if she loves you at all. It is always good to tell her you love her too.

Marriage is not about getting your own space by moving into an apartment. This is a no-brainer...tell her to decide what she wants. There is no temporary marriage in life. You are in or you are out...FULL TIME!

You may want to be the one that moves on.

.

TRUST HER!!!

I personally feel she had all the space before she made her solid committment to you a year ago.....You have been together for a long time for her to know if its you that she wanted to be with and share a future with...Believe it or not space will not confirm nor answer any of her feelings....The best advice would be for her to try to work out her issues with you before she makes any drastic decisions she may regret later....We can't never change our past but, we can focus and work on "today".....I wish you all the best....

"wants Space" or "needs space".....

TRANSLATION:

I want to start seeing other people but I do not want you around to rain on my parade.

Its over buddy. And yes, if you let her treat you like this, YOU ARE A DOORMAT!

Coming from a woman, wanting "space" is just a nice way of saying "I am ready to see other ppl". Sound like she is trying to break away from you easily.

The reason you feel abandoned, is that your wife has left you. That's what it means when a spouse moves out, and gets their own place. It's called separating. It's possible that you feel like a doormat, because you are allowing your wife to treat you like a door mat. OK, now she doesn't want to abandon you , but, she just doesn't want to be with you. Interesting idea. How does calling it something else make it something else? Are ya going to call an bird an eagle, if it waddles, has webbed feet, and goes quack quack? It's OK to pretend it's an eagle- but it's still a duck. I don't quite understand why you are lying to yourself. How you handle your marital problem is your own business. But, since you've asked, I have to suggest that you deal with reality, and stop pretending ducks are eagles.