How much time & space does a man need to get himself together?

I met the most amazing man ever! Love at first sight! He swept me off my feet like that of a fairytale. Only a few weeks later he expressed his co-dependency on pain pills/alcohol & he decided to quit cold-turkey which led to depression. I had nothing but love, support & patience for the man, however we had our first and only bump in the road & he completely shut me out & cowardly advised me that he needs time & space to take care of himself. I don't want to lose him, but I'm not sure what his intentions are with me and/or his addiction. How long should I wait? Is there anything I can do to help him? I don't want to push him further away, but its killing me to know he's alone & hurting. Is his love for me 'real' or are the drugs/alcohol playing a role in his emotions?

Having some of the same feelings when it comes to not wanting others watch as I try to regain myself. A man really doesn't want you to see him both vulnerable and down on himself.

The man you fell for is there but, he was also hiding with pills and alcohol. Maybe he is afraid you won't love the real him. Give him time to recover and if it was meant to be it will be.

Recovery is important and more successful without the added pressures of a relationship. Try to go to Al-Anon and see what they might suggest for you to try to be both supportive and non-pressuring in his struggle to regain himself.

if you really love the guy, then maybe u should wait a little longer.. but the fact that he shuts you out that easy, it may not be advisable to wait..let him be..give yourself some respect, he doesnt deserve the affection you've been giving him,..

He shut you out, so no, you shouldn't wait for him at all. He may NEVER get over his dependency on drugs and alcohol, and until and if he does, he isn't really capable of loving anyone else but himself.
He may have put on a good show of being a good guy for a while, but now you have seen the real him. His intentions speak fairly clear, "time & space" are 'guy code' for go away, I don't want to date you anymore.

If he needs time and space give it to him and let him know that you are there for him but if his time and space involves him getting high while you worry that is unacceptable if he cares about your feelings he will not use your "bump" to get wrecked but to heal what ails the relationship and make it stronger making you and only you his drug but he cant expect you to wait out side his door for ever ask him point blank do we still have what I want us to have or do you just have yourself and your pills and remember only he can change you cant change him.

I am sorry you are going through this. Only he can know what his intentions are about his drug addiction problem. However if he truly loves you --- it's not a good sign that he is shutting you out. And in the past when I've had a man tell he needs space and time --- in reality he's wanted to break up with me and just didn't have the courage to tell me. Follow your gut instincts. If it feels like he is drifting away --- your heart is usually telling you the truth. Good luck.

Yours is co-dependent behavior. This person is incapable of being intimate with anyone and you are attracted to people who cannot be intimate because you mistakenly believe that your love can magically heal them. I mean emotional intimacy and genuineness, not physical. The truth is that only he can heal himself and only when he wants it, which he is obviously not ready to do. The truth is you also cannot be intimate because you choose men who cannot love you back. Your dance fits with his dance. I'm guessing that this type of relationship is part of your family's dance as well. Wake up to your co-dependency and get help. Focus your love on healing your self. Your love will never transform him. Once you are healed, you can find someone who has the capacity to love you as you deserve to be loved.