How to get through a roommate meeting?

Tonight my roommate and I are going to have a meeting...

The situation:
My boyfriend has been staying over night too much. This makes her feel uncomfortable even though we have separate rooms and living spaces.

Problem:
I know she's right and I also promise I'm not going to have him over too much but it usually doesn't end up that way because he lives an hour out of town.

My dilemma:
I'm willing to owe up to the fact that I'm at fault.

But, I want to bring up the issue that the way she reacts to situations like this is completely inappropriate. She purposefully makes loud noises and disturbes everyone in the apartment just to prove that she's angry. She also act passive aggressively by just shooting me dirty looks.

The meeting is a good step.
But how do I bring up my issues with her without her getting too self defensive (she literally refuses to admit that she is EVER at fault).

I understand her feeling uncomfortable but if you have separate rooms and living spaces what is the big deal? What is her reasoning? She doesn't want to hear you, or is afraid that there is a strange male in her apartment...I am sure he is not walking around naked (or semi)...I am sure he is not leaving a mess...not leaving dishes in the sink...what could he have done to make her feel so uncomfortable...he lives an hour out of town!!! I could see if he was local it might be too much...what exactly is her problem...there is something you are leaving out by the fact that you say you are at fault...I don't understand what you did wrong considering you have your own room!?! Is she jealous?

just gently tell her you don't appreciate her acting out and you know what you did is wrong.

good luck!!

She's not right! You both have different personalities and different ideas about how one should live. You are not a good room mate match is all.

She's not your mother, so bringing up her emotional reactions, which are value judgements by the way, will add more fuel to the fire!

Don't do that if you want your dignity, because you are both adults and its time to move on, its that simple.

It can be done non emotionally with a mutual decision based on the fact that you are both diametrically apposed in your beleifs and its okay to agree to disagree.

Handle it diplomatically and move on.

I had a room mate like her for a short time. She was a frigid spinster who wasn't getting any and if she rarely did, it was with an emotionally unavailable guy. She would take her frustrations out on me because I was happy.

I also had a great room mate who allowed me to have my life under the same roof. We would eat out doors with really good wine and hang out in the jacuzzi. But, not everyone get's that dream room mate and they are not easy to find.

Also, your boy friend is just as responsible because he has an intimate relationship with you. Don't kid yourself, because he is aware of your room mate's feelings, and if he truly cares about your relationship lasting, he would have offered to find a new place for two rather than stirring up conflict for you to live with.

Your boy friend is not going to end the ritual he has with you and there is no going back, so put a stop sign to it or move out with him so you can live without the conflict.

One of you has to go.